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I made some vulgar jokes on my first date...Did I screw up my chances?


JelatineDessert

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JelatineDessert

I went on a first date with a guy the other day. My humor in general is kind of not PG and I enjoy joking around about immature things. I tend to get comfortable if I feel like a guy and I are clicking.

 

Like for example, we were talking about comedy clubs and I told him how I saw a hilarious gay and Jewish comedian make the following joke at one of his stand up sets : "Sooo people say your body is a temple, and I totally agree! My body is a temple because many Jewish men come into me"--I don't know, I thought it was funny, and he seemed to have laughed at all the crude jokes. He didn't seem put off, but now in hindsight I kinda regret it cause he probably thinks I'm not "bring home to mom" material. This was last night.

At the end of the night, he texted me saying that he "had a blast" with me.

 

Ugh!!!!! How can I recover from this stupidity!??

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AverageJoe1986
I went on a first date with a guy the other day. My humor in general is kind of not PG and I enjoy joking around about immature things. I tend to get comfortable if I feel like a guy and I are clicking.

 

Like for example, we were talking about comedy clubs and I told him how I saw a hilarious gay and Jewish comedian make the following joke at one of his stand up sets : "Sooo people say your body is a temple, and I totally agree! My body is a temple because many Jewish men come into me"--I don't know, I thought it was funny, and he seemed to have laughed at all the crude jokes. He didn't seem put off, but now in hindsight I kinda regret it cause he probably thinks I'm not "bring home to mom" material. This was last night.

At the end of the night, he texted me saying that he "had a blast" with me.

 

Ugh!!!!! How can I recover from this stupidity!??

 

I'm confused. He had a blast and you think it's a disaster?

 

On the other hand, if that guy's a professional stand up comedian I'd hope he had some material less hackneyed than that.

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Recover from what?? I thought it was crude but funny. Humor is humor is humor...if someone has a stick up their rear end (no pun intended), it can make for some really boring times.

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If he was offended, I doubt you would have gotten a response from him.

 

If you'd like to see him again, text him back and TELL him that.

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JelatineDessert
If he was offended, I doubt you would have gotten a response from him.

 

If you'd like to see him again, text him back and TELL him that.

I mean, it's not about him being offended. To me, he's not a guy that gets offended at vulgar jokes. I just wonder if he saw me less greatly after the jokes, is all...

and I did text him after the date and say that I hope he didnt get the wrong idea of kind of woman I am because of my jokes

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If you blew it I don't think he would have texted you that he "had a blast."

 

 

If that joke was the type of humor you have, continue to be true to yourself. While I don't personally think it was appropriate 1st date material, I also have no interest in dating you. Better for you to find somebody from the outset who enjoys your sense of humor then to try to turn yourself into somebody you are not just to get a date.

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Like you I have a pretty dark sense of humour. People would be very shocked if they heard me joking with my friends, some of the stuff we joke about is pretty sick.

 

That said my sense of humour is a part of me just as your sense of humour is a part of you. Don't try and change the way way you are to try and impress others. If he didn't like your sense of humour then you're not a good match.

 

Stay true to yourself.

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Your humor is part of who you are and if you are to develop a connection with someone, they need to get that.

 

I didn't find your joke particularly funny but that is the point of humor; what is funny to some is not funny to others and you will want to find someone who has the same sense of humor that you do.

 

If the guy is offended by your joke, then you wouldn't want him in your life anyway, would you?

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I mean, it's not about him being offended. To me, he's not a guy that gets offended at vulgar jokes. I just wonder if he saw me less greatly after the jokes, is all...

and I did text him after the date and say that I hope he didnt get the wrong idea of kind of woman I am because of my jokes

 

I doubt it. It was actually a bit tame tbh, and you were just repeating someone else's joke after all. ;)

 

(If he seemed uncomfy at all it could have been the gay subject matter. Most guys don't identify with another guy being "come into.")

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and I did text him after the date and say that I hope he didnt get the wrong idea of kind of woman I am because of my jokes

 

This is actually a more unattractive thing to do than your jokes...it makes you look insecure. Within reason, you can't go into dating constantly worrying about what you're doing wrong. The process is about finding a good match for you- which means a guy who will love your sense of humor. If you pretend to be miss perfect to some guy who has no sense of humor, both of you will just be wasting your time.

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dreamingoftigers

The number one things that bonds my husband and I together is our senses of humor.

 

He often says imnthr only one that gets him.

 

That being said, I really hope no one EVER pulls a Donald Stirling on us. We say a lot of stuff I would never want shared publicly. As JOKES to each other. It was clear pretty early on that he found me hilarious. Don't underestimate the power of that.

 

And it doesn't make me "trashy." I don't share my humor with his mother. (Heck, some of it is about his mother. I do a pretty good impersonation.) I don't share it with MY mother.

 

Be yourself. They will love you or hate you. But they won't forget you.

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I've humorously said a few awkward things in mixed company .... :p

 

I remember years back I was dating this girl and we were at her parents' for a super bowl party and I made an exceptionally vulgar remark to my GF about what I'd like to do to the chick singing the national anthem or halftime show or whatever, didn't realize GF's mom was just behind us and heard it all. Needless to say I was never very popular w/her. :laugh:

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Like for example, we were talking about comedy clubs and I told him how I saw a hilarious gay and Jewish comedian make the following joke at one of his stand up sets : "Sooo people say your body is a temple, and I totally agree! My body is a temple because many Jewish men come into me"--I don't know, I thought it was funny, and he seemed to have laughed at all the crude jokes. He didn't seem put off, but now in hindsight I kinda regret it cause he probably thinks I'm not "bring home to mom" material.

 

Oh, I wouldn't worry about it! Men are not generally put off by something like that. On the contrary. I think many men would find it attractive.

 

You didn't even make the joke about yourself. I do computer consulting for small businesses and professionals in home office. I went to fix someone's computer once, and she was a blonde woman about my age. Out of the blue, she said, "You know why blondes are like computers?" I said no, and she said, "Because you don't really appreciate them until they go down on you." I laughed but didn't think any less of her. We were both adults.

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