Poor communication or am I being played?

[KindlyUnspoken23]

-We went out on 2 weeks ago for the 2nd time and had a great time. That Thursday, we talked for 2 hours and kind of went back into the “getting to know each other” frame of mind. He ended up having to go to his friend’s bachelor party in Boston that weekend but had hoped we could’ve hung out if he didn’t. I heard from him Fri night as well as Saturday afternoon while he was in Boston/with his friends, and that actually meant a lot.

 

Last week, the communication was awful. I felt like i was reaching out first, his time to respond was getting MUCH longer as the week went on. We did plan on Tuesday to go out last Sunday and planned where to go (but didn’t plan a time). From what I’ve gathered, most of the nights that week he has been with his family, and that’s fine, because I value a guy who’s very close with his family.

 

However, last Friday, I didn’t hear from him like I usually do in the morning. I texted him at 1130 and asked if his morning was going okay. He texted back at noon and said it had been a rough morning and he wasn’t feeling hot and wanted to go back to bed. I wrote back and said I was sorry to hear that, hoped he felt better, and to keep me posted on Sunday. I spent all weekend not hearing from him and assumed that he was no longer interested as he basically blew me off.

 

Low and behold, I got a text on Monday morning at 11:30am. He apologized for me not hearing from him, explained why, and then profusely apologized for going MIA and missing out on our scheduled date Sunday. I wrote back and told him I appreciated him reaching out and I was disappointed we didn’t get together, but how did he feel about rescheduling? He didn’t respond for the rest of the day. I ended up texting him when I got out of work. He then answered and said he would definitely like to reschedule and asked when I was free. I told him how starting next week I have no time off for a week or so, but I’m free Wed night, Fri night and Saturday of this week. He said Wed could be a possibility though he was supposed to help his mom, but if not, he can definitely do Friday.

 

Tuesday: he texted me good morning and asked how my day was going. I responded…got nothing. When I texted him after work, he didn’t answer. He also hadn’t been on FB all night/12 hours by the time I woke up.

 

Wednesday: I got a text immediately at like 830am. He told me he fell asleep with lights, clothes, and TV on at 8:15 last night and he had another “rough” day. I responded, asked a question and haven’t heard from him all day.

 

On Thursday I flat out just texted and asked if he still wanted to go out on Friday night. He said he definitely still was & apologized yet again for being so poor with communication lately. Now, it's Friday, there's snow coming down and the roads are poor. I got one text to determine we're gonna play it by ear as he has to drive people home tonight from work and might have to go to his parents to shovel since his dad cannot due to his knee surgery. I mentioned rescheduling for tomorrow, but since we're down to one text a day I naturally haven't heard.

 

 

 

So, what the hell is going on? I feel my interest fading because I'm not forcing him to go out with me or reach out, yet he still is & seems into going out. At the same time, if we don't get together this weekend, I won't be free again for about a week and by then it'll be a month since we last saw each other and that's not exactly how you build a potential relationship. We've only been talking for about a month and have seen each other twice. But at the same time, do I have a right to be honest about what I feel?

[babycrapgreen]

I know it's hard to over think things, especially, when you guys were texting each a lot in the beginning. When you suggested that you guys reschedule your Friday date because of the bad weather, was he hinting that he didn't want to go out or did you infer too much?

 

Keep thinking positive thoughts and not overthinking things, he may just be busy. The fact he's still making plans with you speaks a lot. And, stop facebook stalking. It brings nothing, just your mind making scenarios that may or may not be true.

[carhill]

Hopefully you'll get a blow by blow analysis but I'll offer my overview from many, many years of dating:

 

If it don't flow, let it go.

 

The reality is the last time you went on a date was two weeks ago. Ever since it's been electron after electron. I'll bet you're trying to remember what his voice sounds like because, well, he apparently hasn't called.

 

That's it from an old fart. Perhaps someone else will offer more hope and insight.

[Remington]

Carhill here has it absolutely right. If it don't flow, let it go. (Good advice, rhymes nice and is easy to remember for the rest of the life) You are either being played or the guy is just a jerk or both. No matter what is going on, you're not losing much by letting it fade away. It'll be his loss, you deserve better.

[b-Shock]

OP, how did the weekend go? What's the update?

[Fruitee]

You are either being played or something happened on his trip which makes him act weird.

[VeveCakes]

Call, don't text!

[angel.eyes]

You're doing an awful lot of chasing and initiating to try to get date #3 to happen. Clearly, he doesn't share your urgency. That's your answer.

 

Obviously, you're interested. He has your contact information. He knows how to ask you out on a date and make it happen. You've been on two. Let him be already, and stop constantly reminding him and trying to get this to happen.

 

I'm guessing he met someone else and is focused on moving forward with her. If that fizzles and nothing else pans out, he'll be back. You can decide whether you want to resume. I personally wouldn't waste my time on someone who dragged his feet this way.

 

Focus on dating guys who actually want to date you. It makes life way easier and dating much more fun.

Edited February 12, 2016 by angel.eyes

[angel.eyes]

To answer the question in the thread title--neither. He's just not that interested. Hence the lack of effort on his part.