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Can you get your "spark" back with someone if you lost it?


Ashley473

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It varies on the people and the relationship situation, how it ended and all that. I've been the dumpee and had the ex's coming back wanting to be friends but I can only do that once I've healed - downside of that is once I've healed that's it, I'm never going back to the person who knocked me down. May be polite and friendly, but would never ever get involved again. They had that shot and blew it. I've also been the dumper and had dumpees come back wanting to stay in touch, but that's always been because they're hoping to get back together and it's not been right. So IMO it depends who's taking charge, the dumpee or the dumper.

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todreaminblue

if you want to and you love the person and they love you, i believe truly one hundred per cent that any spark can be reignited.....whether it should be reignited...is another matter.....deb

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Can you get your "spark" back with someone if you lost it?

 

To answer your question. YES.

 

Here is an example in the article a couple got back together after 12 years after their own divorce:

 

Bridget Jones marries the 'man of her dreams' 12 years after DIVORCING him | Daily Mail Online

 

I suppose it depends on what point in life you met your partner

How you have changed or developed in those years

If youre still talking to the person and in regular contact

If youre not talking the potential to meet up and catch up

 

There will be lots of other factors too but it really depends on the other person. Its a 50/50 chance he or she will still say NO.

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If you broke up, stop hanging out. Move on. Move forward.

 

If you are still hanging out & trying to rekindle the flame, newsflash: you aren't broken up you are working on the relationship & lying to yourselves which doesn't help.

 

Either actively work together to fix things or move apart but don't put incorrect labels on things. That just confuses the issue

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I think so, but not if you continue to hang out with that person.

You need to completely disappear for a "long" time, and maybe even change or grow as a person. (Depending on the reason of the break up)

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GorillaTheater
If you broke up, stop hanging out. Move on. Move forward.

 

If you are still hanging out & trying to rekindle the flame, newsflash: you aren't broken up you are working on the relationship & lying to yourselves which doesn't help.

 

Either actively work together to fix things or move apart but don't put incorrect labels on things. That just confuses the issue

 

I think so, but not if you continue to hang out with that person.

You need to completely disappear for a "long" time, and maybe even change or grow as a person. (Depending on the reason of the break up)

 

 

From personal experience, both of these. My now-wife and I met when she was 16 and I was 18. I was smitten, a bit more than she was, and she broke up after a few months. I didn't see her again for two years. No communication whatsoever. We met again at a party, and it was her turn to be instantly smitten. :laugh:

 

 

I happens, but my advice is to get out of each other's lives for a while, and maybe a long while.

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When I was younger, yeah, I believed in that stuff and lived some of it. As an old fart, I gained healthier understanding of unfinished and finished business and, now, nah, done and over, never to reprise. Probably the best teachers of this were the women I interacted with throughout life and I thank them for that.

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I think if you both want to work at recreating the spark, then yes..but this would surely negate the reason you broke up in the first place.

 

It requires communication to reach a point where you both want the same thing.

 

Otherwise, I'd just move on.

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Michelle ma Belle

I'm sure it's possible as I've known people who have done this but for me, it's never been an option. Once I'm done, I'm done as far as a romantic relationship is concerned and have moved on but I'm always open to a friendship at some point if/when it feels appropriate.

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If it's still a fresh break up and you're still in a place of "psychotic hope", you might be able to talk yourself into thinking you can reanimate the spark.

 

If it's been years, probably not.

 

A few weeks ago, I had an accident (concussion from a fall on ice in landlord's driveway)--the day before the big huge snow on the east coast. I had lots of friends from out west who were texting me positive thoughts all day long. My ex texted me, too. Texted him back that I'd had an accident and wouldn't be reading texts or emails--doctors were putting me on "brain rest", then turned off the phone. His number is on silent on my phone, so even if he calls, I don't hear it.

 

I slept the entire weekend and when I looked at my phone on Monday, I saw that he sent a text and had called and left messages. One of his texts was this long, ramble BS sex-text and when I read the first sentence, it turned me off so that I just deleted it without reading further. I'm so not there anymore and I don't want to be there anymore. Don't get me wrong--we had a great sex life, but he ended all that 6 years ago and there is nothing on the face of the earth that can move me to open up that aspect of my interest for him.

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Once it's gone, it's gone. I just had this happening with a woman who I had never even met. I accidentally sent this woman a message that was meant for another lady on this online dating site and she got very angry and refused to meet me and that was that. Before this accident we had been happily messaging for about two weeks and we were about to meet the next day. :) I guess all that has meant to happen. it was so bizarre it had to be thought up up there in heaven. And my message to that other lady was nothing special or raunchy. **** me, ladies are sensitive.

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Once it's gone, it's gone. I just had this happening with a woman who I had never even met. I accidentally sent this woman a message that was meant for another lady on this online dating site and she got very angry and refused to meet me and that was that. Before this accident we had been happily messaging for about two weeks and we were about to meet the next day. :) I guess all that has meant to happen. it was so bizarre it had to be thought up up there in heaven. And my message to that other lady was nothing special or raunchy. **** me, ladies are sensitive.

 

Did you use the wrong name?

 

It was more the obviousness that it wasn't meant for her (and that means you're chasing someone else while trying to talk to her) than whether it was raunchy. She may have thought that was just messy, which it was.

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Yes, I did use the wrong name. And yes, messy she thought it was. What a stupid thing to happen. I feel so sad and sorry for the both of us.

 

This is the problem when you are hedging your bets and multi date, you alienate the good ones who would otherwise more likely to stick around. Those that aren't offended are doing the same thing...

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