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Online Dating Profile Turnoffs


TheArtist

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So many threads are being posted about online dating at the moment and I've noticed a lot of them end up being about what people don't like in profiles. I thought it might be a good idea to get everything down in one big list here.

 

Tell us if you're referring to a girl's profile or man's profile and what exactly makes you instantly click next. Hopefully we'll all have learnt something at the end of this!

 

I'll start it off:

 

  • Girls pulling out their tongues (you're in your 30s, stop that)
  • Pouting - it just doesn't look good. Ever!
  • Wtng in txt spk - If you can't be bothered writing a few lines properly then how will dating ever work out?!

This might be informative or a complete disaster. It's up to you!

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Things that amuse me in personals:

 

*If you have to explain a joke, it's a bad joke. Likewise, if you have to tell people that you're funny, then you aren't funny.

 

*Most everyone is a body type rung lower than what they say they are. The word "curvy" in general.

 

*Obvious asymmetry between what someone is looking for and what they have to offer.

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-I'm not single but what gets me is this shirtless bathroom selfies....ick.

-Posting pictures that are from years ago.

-Writing very demanding wants like "I want a nice honest girl and she must be.....

-Looking for friendship....really??? it's a dating site!

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My biggest profile turn offs for men are:

 

- Shirtless pics, pics with a drugged tiger, pics with unidentified women

- Negativity - "Don't play games", "Don't contact me if xyz"

- Empty profiles or "if you want to know something, ask!" - um no, you put yourself on a dating site. If you can't even be bothered to write a few things about yourself, that suggests to me you aren't going to be all that invested in dating.

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Cliche ridden profiles! 'I'm looking for a partner in crime' who is 'down to earth' and is a 'genuine guy'. You've told me nothin'!!

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Michelle ma Belle

Yep, all of the above.

 

I would like to add to this photos of themselves amidst a sea of dirty laundry strewn about the room like a bomb exploded.

 

I mean, who lives like that especially an adult? At least dig out a clean corner first for heaven's sake. I don't care how attractive they are or how many muscles he's flexing for me in the mirror, if he lives like a pig, and worse, doesn't even seem to care about the impression he's making apart from just his looks...yeah...huge turn off.

 

Ugh.

 

Oh, and beds with no bed sheets on them. I just don't get that.

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An almost empty profile, but they took the time to add a list of requirements you have to meet if you want to contact them.

 

Even worse if that same person also mentions you should come up with something better than just "hi" or how's it going," even though they give you nothing about them.

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I would like to add to this photos of themselves amidst a sea of dirty laundry strewn about the room like a bomb exploded.

 

Yes! I saw one yesterday that had about five pictures and every one of them had a pile of dirty dishes in the background. You couldn't take a step to the left? What's going on there?!

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My biggest profile turn offs for men are:

 

- Shirtless pics

- Negativity - "Don't play games", "Don't contact me if xyz"

- Empty profiles or "if you want to know something, ask!" - um no, you put yourself on a dating site. If you can't even be bothered to write a few things about yourself, that suggests to me you aren't going to be all that invested in dating.

 

This!

 

A few more are:

- Pics with only group shots. How am I supposed to figure out which guy is you?

 

- Profiles without pics. Especially ones that say they can't because of their job, privacy, etc. I just assume they are cheating.

 

- Text speak or poor formatting such as profiles that have no spacing and are difficult to read. I just don't.

 

- Profiles that say that even if a woman is slightly overweight they won't date her (one of the questions on OK Cupid). I'm not overweight myself and a lot of these guys message me but to me it signifies someone who's likely to be shallow. People can so whatever they want but this one is a turn off to me.

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Online dating is a game. A very complicated game. Dating and courtship among people who meet in person in real life, is a whole different story. So many singles fail to translate their senses about "what's wrong or right" from real life to an online profile. Because it's so un natural to sell yourself like a product.

 

I can testify from mine and friends experience: Sometimes there is very little linkage between the choices people make "How to design they're profile" and How they really are. I mean, You can hate her when you read her profile, and love her if you meet her and really know her. The profile absolutely cannot make a shortcut. You must invest some time before you can judge.

 

But still, everybody judge according to this useless tool. Sometimes, a bad profile just says that this person doesn't know how to write a profile, and maybe he\she is a bad salesman, but can be a great person \ SO.

Edited by lolablue17
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On line dating profiles should be like a job interview, first impressions count!...be neat and tidy, look your best, be honest, be respectable and drop the negative attitude.

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AverageJoe1986

'Bonus if you're tall, dark and handsome' etc. If you're putting it on your profile it's not a bonus. Just say that's what you want.

 

'I know I'm only 5'1 but I like tall guys'. Even if I'm above the height she requires I know she's a write off. In fact any height requirements. If you need to be towered over to feel feminine then I'm probably going to be more of a feminist than you.

 

Self is that seem to have been taken from a low - flying drone. Seriously girls we know how many pounds certain angles take off. We factor it in.

 

'PLEASE NO TIME WASTERS'. We're the ones who've wasted time reading your, until now, perfectly pleasant profile.

 

People who seem to live in 9 day weeks: 'I work hard. At the weekend I climb mountains, help out at various Michelin star restaurants, play lacrosse to raise money for disabled monkeys, I'm training for a half - marathon' etc etc.

 

Interests: The Gym. Seriously, since when did the gym become an interest of anyone pre-labotomy?

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Online dating is a game. A very complicated game. Dating and courtship among people who meet in person in real life, is a whole different story. So many singles fail to translate their senses about "what's wrong or right" from real life to an online profile. Because it's so un natural to sell yourself like a product.

 

I can testify from mine and friends experience: Sometimes there is very little linkage between the choices people make "How to design they're profile" and How they really are. I mean, You can hate her when you read her profile, and love her if you meet her and really know her. The profile absolutely cannot make a shortcut. You must invest some time before you can judge.

 

But still, everybody judge according to this useless tool. Sometimes, a bad profile just says that this person doesn't know how to write a profile, and maybe he\she is a bad salesman, but can be a great person \ SO.

 

I semi agree with this - a lot of people do not accurately reflect themselves in their profile or do a good job selling themselves. But if you want to go online, you need to spend more than 5 seconds setting things up and then expecting people to come running. We don't go out to the bar in our worst outfit or worst look, so why would we present ourselves badly online?

 

There are resources available if you are a poor writer - ask a friend to help you or find a professional profile writer. It's worth investing the time / money to make sure you are using online to its best advantage. And with the photos, same again - I will say to a friend with an online profile "hey, you look great tonight, let's take a photo for your profile." When you are looking good and having fun, ask someone to take a picture of you! Or get some professional photos done.

 

I think too many people are lazy when it comes to being online and dating. They want to throw up a weak profile and instantly enter a relationship without doing any work. But look at it like hunting for the most important job of your life - you need to have a quality resume and put effort forward if you want success.

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On line dating profiles should be like a job interview, first impressions count!...be neat and tidy, look your best, be honest, be respectable and drop the negative attitude.

 

If i'm looking for a salesman, he should know how to sell himself through an interview. If I'm looking for a beauty model, she must know how to sell herself.

 

Just please remind me, what all of that has something to do with qualities and being a potential for a great love and relationship? And also a job interview is face to face, which is much better. But you talk about a profile. One page who must summerise you.

 

I'm sorry but I will never agree to summarize myself in on page. It's insulting. I'm not a product. Luckily, I don't need online dating... :rolleyes::rolleyes:

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AverageJoe1986

 

Self is that seem to have been taken from a low - flying drone. Seriously girls we know how many pounds certain angles take off. We factor it in.

 

 

That should be selfies of course.

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Look, a picture of me surfing. And here's a picture of me driving my car. Here's a picture of me with a really beautiful woman. Another picture of me with a really beautiful woman. And another. Two beautiful women.

 

I see this and think- is this his way of suggesting, "I'm so friendly, women love me! You will too." Or is it more like "This girl is hot, I'm hoping to find one exactly like her who will date me." Or am I missing the message here altogether? Because I'd never think that guys would want to see pictures of me with hot dudes all over me.

 

So many abs, so many shirtless pics. So many gym pics. I don't even want to talk to guys who take pictures of themselves driving their cars, standing next to their cars, or working out in the gym. I mean, partially this is a California problem. I realize this. Sometimes we Californians are just as superficial as everyone says. But then you get to know these guys and they're all transplants who are trying to prove their California-status. Anyway, it's a turn-off! I just want an attractive man with a brain. That's all.

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Profiles that mention children first. I have nothing against dating girls with kids but to make that the headline?

 

'I have a daughter who is my world and I love being with her'

 

Well, yes, but I don't want to date your daughter.

 

'I love to laugh' is another pointless line. I, on the other hand, find it hilarious when I'm sobbing my eyes out at a three legged puppy. Come on, we all love to laugh!

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'I know I'm only 5'1 but I like tall guys'. Even if I'm above the height she requires I know she's a write off. In fact any height requirements. If you need to be towered over to feel feminine then I'm probably going to be more of a feminist than you.

 

People who seem to live in 9 day weeks: 'I work hard. At the weekend I climb mountains, help out at various Michelin star restaurants, play lacrosse to raise money for disabled monkeys, I'm training for a half - marathon' etc etc.

 

Interests: The Gym. Seriously, since when did the gym become an interest of anyone pre-labotomy?

 

It's TRUE! The shortest women I know are the ones who have the biggest issue dating men who aren't 6ft tall. This makes me so angry!

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-I understand the shirtless pics being a bit of a turn off for ladies, especially as a stupid bathroom selfie. However, a woman on a beach in her bikini, really? I'd rather see her normal look because that's what she'll be like most days.

-Looking for friendship: someone said it before and I'll second it, lookup meet-up.com instead.

-I also dislike netspeak and abbreviation, an effort please. I also dislike the other side of the coin: pompous women (I have a PhD, I'm independent, I have a successful career hence you bums better not message me)

-Duck face, just no.

-Women with empty profiles, no pictures and who point out there's no way she is going to share mails, phones, skype etc. What's the point?

-Agressivity/negativity, I could give out many examples, I think we have all read those stuck up/rigid profiles before.

Edited by Shanex
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1. Pictures of a girl getting "too" friendly/touchy-feely w a guy friend. Pictures of a girl w her ex fall into this category. As bad as this is, I've seen it fairly often and I'm not sure why. Ladies, no prospective boyfriend really wants to picture you being that close w another guy!

 

2. A profile w just the usual cliches. Its hard to write a good email to a woman if there isn't anything from her profile (either in her text or pictures) that stand out.

 

3. Not a single full-body shot. Even worse: Like 25 headshot photos but not a single full-body shot. I don't need to see what you look like in a bikini but a full-body shot of you in say jeans would be nice.

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Braggarts:

 

 

  • On a long weekend, I like to take spontaneous trips. My last trip was to Paris.

[sEVERAL JET SETTER PICTURES] with a caption that says:

" If you can tell me what location this is, bonus points for you."

  • I am very successful in my field and would rather not post a picture but trust me, I am worth it.
  • I know how to treat a woman. If you have a taste for the finer things in life, then let's talk. Please no gold diggers.
  • I am working on a company that is currently in stealth mode and will end poverty in Africa and have been featured in the New York Times and other major publications. Work keeps me very busy but I would like to find that special someone to be my distraction.

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1. Pictures of a girl getting "too" friendly/touchy-feely w a guy friend. Pictures of a girl w her ex fall into this category.

 

Or those with her next to her much hotter friend!

 

'Please be the one on the left, please be the one on the left, please be the one on the left...'

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