pisces_gurl Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 I am a 22 years old girl and have been flirting (staring/smiling) with this guy lately. He is much more older than me (ha, lol). I used to stare at him a lot and in return caught him staring at me many times Recently, i got some courage and decided to talk to him. I went to him and we started a conversation. It was nice and cool. But I want to ask few of his sentences as to why he said them? Does anyone of them indicate any interest on his part? Please let me know. 1) When I asked him if he is on Facebook, he replied "No. I hate Facebook and I am not on it. Why don't you talk to me in the campus? 2) Second, when I asked "You only come to university on Saturdays, right" He replied, "Welll, you also only come to university on saturdays" We NEVER talked before, I observed he only comes on Saturdays because i had a huge almost obsessive stalkerish crush on him and know exactly when is his class. But how did he know that I only come on saturdays? Is it an encouraging or discouraging attitude at his part? Please help? Does anything above indicate if he's interested? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 I couldn't tell you because I wasn't there. Just the words can have many meanings. It could be friendly banter, or he was being douchey, or he was feeling a bit put on the spot, befuddled in what to say. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 How are you with guys? Do you get asked out a lot? Do guys want to be around you? what are you like as a person ie: social circle, BFs, relationships, interests, tomboyish? shy? out going? inexperienced? Link to post Share on other sites
Author pisces_gurl Posted December 20, 2015 Author Share Posted December 20, 2015 I am considered very pretty. Feminine, shy at the same time seductive. I am an introverted person and don't socialize much. I only talk to the guys i am crushing on lol Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 How old is this guy you are crushing on, and how did you start the conversation with him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author pisces_gurl Posted December 20, 2015 Author Share Posted December 20, 2015 He might be around 40. He is an IT person. I asked him about MIS projects Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 First mistake: asking him if he is on Facebook. If you want to be able to communicate properly with a middle aged man, don't talk to him like he's 20. Did you introduce yourself? "Hi, I'm ____" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Not enough information to go on here. The two sentences you asked about are rather neutral, but him asking why you don't talk to him on campus sounds like a suggestion to do just that. He didn't know you only come on Saturdays. That's only when he sees you, so he probably took an educated guess. How old is he, exactly? And how did you initiate conversation with him? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Not enough information to go on here. The two sentences you asked about are rather neutral, but him asking why you don't talk to him on campus sounds like a suggestion to do just that. He didn't know you only come on Saturdays. That's only when he sees you, so he probably took an educated guess. How old is he, exactly? And how did you initiate conversation with him? he's 40 look up a couple of posts. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 he's 40 look up a couple of posts. Ah ok, I think I must've posted my question at the same time she responded to that. OP, I agree with Smackie about not asking about Facebook with a 40-year-old. You have to remember that his generation grew up without it and it's often not used in the same way by an older crowd - I'm only 34 and even I don't use it the same way my younger friends in their 20's do. It's generally not something I'd even bring up in the first conversation with a person. Anyway, if you can provide more details about your conversation with him we can give you some more suggestions as to how you could proceed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author pisces_gurl Posted December 20, 2015 Author Share Posted December 20, 2015 Well, nothing much. I didnt talk much more with him. I asked him about if he is on Facebook and he told me to talk to him more on campus. And when I asked him, "You only come on Saturdays"(I know this because i have an obsessive crush on him and know exactly when he comes to the campus. But he also knows that I only come on Saturdays? Like i knew (through friends) that we went to campus on Thursday too, but I was busy so i didn't go. Does the fact that he said that "You only come on Saturdays too" indicate that he observes me and might have noticed that on Thursdays or other days of the week (when he comes) that i am not there? He said with complete surity, "You also come on Saturdays only" Does it mean something? Does it mean he notice me? Like when he comes on other weekdays and i am not there? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 _____________________ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author pisces_gurl Posted December 20, 2015 Author Share Posted December 20, 2015 What's this for? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Well, nothing much. I didnt talk much more with him. I asked him about if he is on Facebook and he told me to talk to him more on campus. And when I asked him, "You only come on Saturdays"(I know this because i have an obsessive crush on him and know exactly when he comes to the campus. But he also knows that I only come on Saturdays? Like i knew (through friends) that we went to campus on Thursday too, but I was busy so i didn't go. Does the fact that he said that "You only come on Saturdays too" indicate that he observes me and might have noticed that on Thursdays or other days of the week (when he comes) that i am not there? He said with complete surity, "You also come on Saturdays only" Does it mean something? Does it mean he notice me? Like when he comes on other weekdays and i am not there? You are reading waaaaaaaay too much into this. I agree with the other poster he just took an educated guess. I suggest you just keep talking to him, ask him out for a coffee. Don`t you want to keep this simple...... Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 You are reading waaaaaaaay too much into this. I agree with the other poster he just took an educated guess. I suggest you just keep talking to him, ask him out for a coffee. Don`t you want to keep this simple...... Agreed. OP, you hardly interacted with him. It doesn't necessarily "mean" anything at this point. Don't stress over it. Ask him to join you for a coffee on campus the next time you see him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pisces_gurl Posted December 20, 2015 Author Share Posted December 20, 2015 How can I? He is professor there and i am just a student(graduated this semester) Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 He must have his email on the uni website right? Contact him. BUT before you do, check uni policy about staff dating students. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pisces_gurl Posted December 20, 2015 Author Share Posted December 20, 2015 My university is totally okay with that. Many male professors have married their students The thing is, i just dont know if he is interested or attracted to me or not I already have low self esteem and cant take a risk Thats y i told you the things in our conversation, might he be interested in me or not? As for the body language, i have caught him looking at me like ALOT of times and the moment i look at him, he LOOKS away! What does it mean? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 We can't tell you because we were not there to observe. Like I say to anyone who asks that question, the only way to truly find out is to ask them out on a date....that's why I say ask him out for coffee. No risk, no gain. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Trust me on this.....it's way easier to get a yes if you are a girl asking a guy out. I'm sure he will be flattered. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pisces_gurl Posted December 20, 2015 Author Share Posted December 20, 2015 Yes but now i think he shrugged me off without making me feel bad When I said that, "are you on Facebook" if he WAS interested he would have given me his number and NOT say that you can talk to me in the campus Plus he smiled and had a grin on his face when he said, "You also come on Saturdays only" Maybe he got it that i am obsessive about him and only come to campus to see him? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 My university is totally okay with that. Many male professors have married their students The thing is, i just dont know if he is interested or attracted to me or not I already have low self esteem and cant take a risk Thats y i told you the things in our conversation, might he be interested in me or not? As for the body language, i have caught him looking at me like ALOT of times and the moment i look at him, he LOOKS away! What does it mean? OK so what if we said YES! he is interested for sure! What would be your next move??? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Yes but now i think he shrugged me off without making me feel bad When I said that, "are you on Facebook" if he WAS interested he would have given me his number and NOT say that you can talk to me in the campus Plus he smiled and had a grin on his face when he said, "You also come on Saturdays only" Maybe he got it that i am obsessive about him and only come to campus to see him? Social anxiety: You feel people are criticizing you. Guess what people are not thinking anything about you at all. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 If he's a professor, even if it is in fact okay for them to engage in personal relationships with students, he might not be willing to cross that boundary. Many would not. I also teach adults and even though the institutions where I've taught didn't explicitly state in their policies that dating students was forbidden, I am not willing to go there. All you can do is initiate a conversation again the next time you see him. But if your self-esteem is so low you can't even bring yourself to risk initiating more contact without being sure of his interest, I think you're going to find dating a struggle. Especially an older, more experienced man. They are generally past that point in their lives and much more assured of themselves and what they want in a partner. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pisces_gurl Posted December 20, 2015 Author Share Posted December 20, 2015 I will **** him so hard he will cry And have 1000s of his babies haha lol Link to post Share on other sites
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