Gaeta Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 I met someone I don't have any story of love at first sight or raging sexual attraction. I did not even know if I liked him 'that way' after our first date. He was interesting, articulate, well put together so I gave it a try. He took me out on wonderful dates and treated me like a lady. Never any pressure to take me home and never invited himself over. He complimented me but never went overboard with it. He was keeping in touch each day with phone calls, not texting. With every date I started liking him more and more. Over the course of 4-5 dates it went from I don't think I like him to thinking about him all the time. He is so kind and attentive but in a NORMAL way. It's so refreshing and enjoyable. I don't have any worries, anxiety, fear or stress about it. Everything unfolds naturally with no efforts. To all of you out there looking - I truly believe this is how dating is suppose to be. 31 Link to post Share on other sites
Snakechammah Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Awesome Gaeta!! I'm really happy for you!! Please update us ok! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Yes, exactly. Happy for you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Samhain Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Good for you!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
soph-walker Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Splendid! Good for you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
strawberryshortstack Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 I met someone I don't have any story of love at first sight or raging sexual attraction. I did not even know if I liked him 'that way' after our first date. He was interesting, articulate, well put together so I gave it a try. He took me out on wonderful dates and treated me like a lady. Never any pressure to take me home and never invited himself over. He complimented me but never went overboard with it. He was keeping in touch each day with phone calls, not texting. With every date I started liking him more and more. Over the course of 4-5 dates it went from I don't think I like him to thinking about him all the time. He is so kind and attentive but in a NORMAL way. It's so refreshing and enjoyable. I don't have any worries, anxiety, fear or stress about it. Everything unfolds naturally with no efforts. To all of you out there looking - I truly believe this is how dating is suppose to be. I'm feeling exactly the same way about the guy I've been seeing for the last 6 weeks. It feels great, doesn't it? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Natalie8 Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Ah, that is so nice to read! Im very happy for you! And yes, this is how it supposed to be. And i know it will happen for me too if i keep positive 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 I wish I was wired like you Gaeta... I have tried many times to fall for men with whom I had no sizzling chemistry with. Sadly, without the instant connection and wild attraction, it never "grows " for me to a great level. You're lucky that you feelings can truly grow in absense of fireworks. If I had your ability to fall for men that you aren't feeling the initial spark with, I would have never had been single; I always had decent suitors that everyone thought I was crazy to turn down. ....but I just didn't feel the spark. It seems dating is hard these days....decent men are so hard to find, and decent men who are into you are also hard to find. It is good that some people can overlook the lack of spark and actually give relationships a chance to blossom even in absense of infatuation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 BE WEARY * If it's too easy..friction or obstacles create passion...patience is a virtue because not everyone can wait. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Good to hear! I've come to believe that the relationships that move quickly tend to fizzle out just as quickly. He sounds like a great guy. That alone is a rarity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted December 20, 2015 Author Share Posted December 20, 2015 I'm feeling exactly the same way about the guy I've been seeing for the last 6 weeks. It feels great, doesn't it? Absolutely great ! I would take this any day over infatuation. I hate the feeling of craving that comes with infatuation. Constant wondering what he's doing and why he's not flooding my phone every minute of the day. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted December 20, 2015 Author Share Posted December 20, 2015 I wish I was wired like you Gaeta... I have tried many times to fall for men with whom I had no sizzling chemistry with. Sadly, without the instant connection and wild attraction, it never "grows " for me to a great level.. For sure we can't fall with just any joe blow you pick in the street. There has to be something there that attracts you then you build on it. I tried many times before to give chances with men I didn't feel a connection and it lead nowhere but I still believed it could happen 'with the right man' not just 'any man'. You're lucky that you feelings can truly grow in absense of fireworks. If I had your ability to fall for men that you aren't feeling the initial spark with, I would have never had been single; I always had decent suitors that everyone thought I was crazy to turn down. ....but I just didn't feel the spark. You don't need fireworks but you need a little flame that you can nourish into a strong fire. It seems dating is hard these days....decent men are so hard to find, and decent men who are into you are also hard to find. It is good that some people can overlook the lack of spark and actually give relationships a chance to blossom even in absence of infatuation. What you don't understand is infatuation, connection, chemistry can come later. It's not because you don't have them right in your face at the first date that it will never be there. On my 2nd date with this man I caught myself looking at other men! On our 5th date I only had eyes for him. I was standing next to him in line and remember feeling very proud that 'that's my man'. I don't think you should spend a month dating someone in the hope you'll grow into him but I definitely think if the man is perfect on paper for you to as least give him 3 dates. When I met this man here, a friend of mine told me, Gaeta when you meet someone nice stop looking for someone better. I'm glad he convinced me. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Absolutely great ! I would take this any day over infatuation. I hate the feeling of craving that comes with infatuation. Constant wondering what he's doing and why he's not flooding my phone every minute of the day. Ummmm... I am sure that you would prefer the more intense feelings of infatuation with a guy who actually reciprocated the feeling. I have had calm, comfortable relationships without infatuation. We had chemistry still and we laughed a lot. I am telling you now ---- it always feels better to be head over heels and infatuated. Providing it is mutual and with a compatible partner. The greatest force I have ever felt in my entire life was that of meeting my boyfriend and the months that followed; infatuation ensued in addition to calm and peace. I love the cool and calm certaitly of dating a man that treats you well and you KNOW is into you...with no drama.... but when this is also combined with the infatuation stage, it is honestly the most intoxicating force. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I'll just share my best wishes and, myself, when running into a similar situation, ended up marrying the lady. We're no longer married but I don't regret the path at all. Good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I am curious. ..... Do you or did you ever get anxious excited about whether or not he texted? Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 You deserve the world....don't let him give you anything less...give him the moon....see, I, a mere man can be sort of romantic.... I want only the best for you...you deserve it, Grumps 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I am glad to hear this Gaeta. You certainly deserve it. I also feel this is exactly how dating is supposed to be and that is exactly what I am looking for. If there is any game playing, rash judgments, or anything of that kind being used in the early stages of dating, I will abort quickly. Seeing this thread makes me feel better I stayed single up to this point. Thanks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I'm happy for you Gaeta, but I have to have the sizzling chemistry too. Everyone is different. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Thank Goodness and about time. Fingers crossed for you over here. Thank you for giving me hope! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Yay! (10 characters) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redfisher Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Awesome sauce! You deserve it... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted December 21, 2015 Author Share Posted December 21, 2015 I am curious. ..... Do you or did you ever get anxious excited about whether or not he texted? Of course but it took a few dates for me to feel that excitement. It was not there at first. After our first date I had a series of negative critics - he's too tall, too thin, hair too long - not sure I like him. I was not turned off but my breath was not taken away physical wise. Character wise I could not find one thing negative to say. Then we went on a few dates and more I was with him more I liked him, more I was looking forward to hear from him and see him. When I see his name on my phone I drop everything to take his call and I am filled with joy. - how do you call that? Eventually we were intimate, we have great sexual chemistry and that definitely had a role in something switching in me. Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I met someone I don't have any story of love at first sight or raging sexual attraction. I did not even know if I liked him 'that way' after our first date. He was interesting, articulate, well put together so I gave it a try. He took me out on wonderful dates and treated me like a lady. Never any pressure to take me home and never invited himself over. He complimented me but never went overboard with it. He was keeping in touch each day with phone calls, not texting. With every date I started liking him more and more. Over the course of 4-5 dates it went from I don't think I like him to thinking about him all the time. He is so kind and attentive but in a NORMAL way. It's so refreshing and enjoyable. I don't have any worries, anxiety, fear or stress about it. Everything unfolds naturally with no efforts. To all of you out there looking - I truly believe this is how dating is suppose to be. Glad things are going well. The bold part is important though, many guys are never given 4 or 5 dates, they are usually thrown on the rubbish heap after 1 date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 That's how I think it's SUPPOSE to be, but some people are so insistent on this "instant chemistry" bullcrap. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Glad things are going well. The bold part is important though, many guys are never given 4 or 5 dates, they are usually thrown on the rubbish heap after 1 date. That's how I think it's SUPPOSE to be, but some people are so insistent on this "instant chemistry" bullcrap. I admit to being far hastier when I was younger. My attraction for my current guy grew over time. I've learned that a long, slow, sizzle is maybe even more delicious (and definitely longer lasting without the "crazy") than the instant fireworks. Hope this is the same for you, Gaeta! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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