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OKCupid is the Devil


JewelD

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I disabled my account because the site has brought me so much unnecessary stress and I don't even want to be bothered with dating anymore after my experiences. idk if it's just the lesbian side, but I kept finding myself talking to people who were flakes.

 

One girl kept asking for my number, would text "how are you?" everyday and NOTHING ELSE.

 

Girl number 2, I decided to be smart and not invest myself into anything. She kept pressuring me to talk on the phone, called me outta the blue, set up a date for us to meet. She was really eager. The night before the date, she texts and says "I'm going through some ****. I'm tired of people using me". She didn't text anything else, never called me back. I didn't care that much because I wasn't expecting anything, but why beg for people's time just to waste it?

 

Girl Number 3, an ongoing affair for 4 months. We kept falling in and out because of the distance. So I texted her when I happened to be in town. Turns out she's in a relationship now. which blew me, because she had told me she wasn't really looking to date anyone because she cheats on people. and that one really hurt because without even having met me or had any extensive conversation, she decided I wasn't good enough to be considered 'gf material' and therefore she had to lower my expectations. But even though she was dating someone, she didn't say no to us meeting. she asked what 'benefits' there would be. I said, good company, because I was bored and angry. I talked to her on the phone that night and she apologized for the way we had fallen out. She said she would let me know if she had time to meet that weekend (it was after thanksgiving). I texted her the next day, she never responded.

 

That was last week and I'm just so angry. Even though I know she's an ******* and a liar, I don't see why she would call and apologize or why she'd consider meeting if she really didn't like me like that. Or why she wouldn't have just said no! Why toy with someone's feelings like that over and over?

 

and ik part of it is my own fault for talking to this idiot, but I am so tired of this bs. I don't want to be single forever, but I effing hate dating.

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Hi Jewel

 

I'm hetero and can confirm the same OLD experience (though not OKC).

 

It seems that a lot (at lease 30%) of people who use OLD are mentally unstable and are not able to find a partner through real life situations. As someone who recently divorced after 18 yrs and does not meet a lot of people to date in RL, I thought why not give OLD a go. What an eye opening experience! Like I said, either the people I meet are mentally unstable or they are not relationship material. The percentage that I meet and they do not choose me even though I would choose them to date (this is after an online "vetting process) is 30% ... I don't know why that is but the more I utilized OLD, the less I cared. I find that it is really not for me. As others have said on this forum, do not use OLD as your end all and be all for meeting people. I've learned. Also...stay within your demographic... this is key!!!

Edited by StBreton
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Hi Jewel

 

I'm hetero and can confirm the same OLD experience (though not OKC).

 

It seems that a lot (at lease 30%) of people who use OLD are mentally unstable and are not able to find a partner through real life situations. As someone who recently divorced after 18 yrs and does not meet a lot of people to date in RL, I thought why not give OLD a go. What an eye opening experience! Like I said, either the people I meet are mentally unstable or they are not relationship material. The percentage that I meet and they do not choose me even though I would choose them to date (this is after an online "vetting process) is 30% ... I don't know why that is but the more I utilized OLD, the less I cared. I find that it is really not for me. As others have said on this forum, do not use OLD as your end all and be all for meeting people. I've learned. Also...stay within your demographic... this is key!!!

 

Gosh, I feel like it's gotta be higher than 30%! I was always against online dating until I found out my boyfriend was cheating last April. I'm a grad student in a small college town so everyone here is either too young for me or they are a fellow grad student buried in books 24/7 and thus unavailable. I only have a year and a half left so I'm thinking I'll just wait until I move back home where the dating scene is much more hopeful.

 

This really sucks though. I've got friends, but it's a lonely experience out here.

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Yes it is a little lonely. I'm like you though...I'm biding my time till I'm ready to go back out there (I've taken a little time off 1 year post divorce to reflect).

 

Seems waiting is in your best interest even though it's lonely. Since you're doing a grad program yourself, maybe use your extra time for additional study. I'm using my extra time for my kids and studying.

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I think you invested/expected a bit too much before you even met them.

 

For sure I can understand it's emotionally tiring and draining if a prospect flakes/doesn't work out/whatever, but to say it caused "unnecessary stress" and you "don't even want to be bothered with dating anymore after my experiences" is a bit much.

 

How much stress can someone you've never met really cause? I mean I can understand the excitement of a potential being there and being let down, but if it's causing you *that* much stress to the point where you're distraught, angry, calling OKC the devil; maybe you're blowing the expectation up in your head a bit too much.

 

I think the attitude should be kinda like "meh. that's too bad." if it doesn't work out

Edited by J21
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I think you invested/expected a bit too much before you even met them.

 

For sure I can understand it's emotionally tiring and draining if a prospect flakes/doesn't work out/whatever, but to say it caused "unnecessary stress" and you "don't even want to be bothered with dating anymore after my experiences" is a bit much.

 

How much stress can someone you've never met really cause? I mean I can understand the excitement of a potential being there and being let down, but if it's causing you *that* much stress to the point where you're distraught, angry, calling OKC the devil; maybe you're blowing the expectation up in your head a bit too much.

 

I think the attitude should be kinda like "meh. that's too bad." if it doesn't work out

 

I don't mean forever obviously, but as far as online dating, I'm definitely over that. If I went out on a date and it didn't work out, that's one thing, but one crappy experience after another is a whole other ball park. My only expectations were to be treated with respect and go out on dates. I imagine that's what everyone expects when they sign up.

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