crazybestie101 Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 So finally things have proceed between me and my crush, we are texting now. I have feeling that this guy wants to add me on facebook from long gone but waiting on me. He has been stalking me full on online, sometime i get feeling that someone is watching me when i am out lol Now you all would be wondering why i am so paranoid about such stupid thing like facebook. So here are reasons: -Past experiences have taught me not to add someone unless we became exclusive, save drama of adding/ deleting. - i don't want to see whom he dated or how many pictures of girls he likes. I don't even want to see the comments he make to any his female friend post / picture. I.e, last year i went out with this guy. He friended me on FB, there i saw his engagement pics with his ex. They were still there! - I am not active on FB, so i don't have many post/ pictures. I am afraid he will think my life is not so fun and i am boring person based on my FB. ( i know stupid but people do think this way). I do fun things here and there but just don't post it on social media. What do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
Oregon_Dude Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Don't friend dates. It never ends well. Keep them separate. No good comes from this. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Don't friend dates. It never ends well. Keep them separate. No good comes from this. Amen!!!!! Please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeze don't friend dates on any social media. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Oregon_Dude Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 This reminds me - anyone who hasn't already should do the following: go to your FB settings and make it so Only Friends can view your past, current and future posts. This way, people you're dating can't virtually "snoop" on you. Adds mystery, plus they shouldn't be doing it in the first place. Privacy is a dying virtue. Technology doesn't want you to have it. Take it into your own hands. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Xiomn Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 (edited) Nah, you'll just end up stalking him, oh he liked this status, oh he liked this photo, oh he ls interested/going to this event, i wonder what it means? Or maybe that was just me? - Not going to friend dates again, too much temptation to stalk. inb4 everyone thinks I'm a creep now. Edited December 1, 2015 by Xiomn 1 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Will adding him on Facebook simply provide more grist for the drama mill? Then no, don't. Wait until you're like ... actually friends or have an actual relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Empyrea Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 You just listed a whole bunch of reasons why not to add him - so don't! Simple as. PS people who are not active on facebook actually come across as mysterious and as having better things to do than post photos of their food or nights out clubbing. Have you noticed that parties where you don't take a 100 pictures are actually MORE fun? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 It's not about coming across "mysterious", it's about being smart about your privacy online. If they want to know something about you then they can ask. Besides, online is a horrible way to judge anyone. It's often just a bunch of smoke and mirrors anyway. Keep things simple until you can't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author crazybestie101 Posted December 1, 2015 Author Share Posted December 1, 2015 It's not about coming across "mysterious", it's about being smart about your privacy online. If they want to know something about you then they can ask. Besides, online is a horrible way to judge anyone. It's often just a bunch of smoke and mirrors anyway. Keep things simple until you can't. Actually my profile doesnt have any post visible, heck it doesn't even have profile picture lol Purposely did it so people wont request me. But due to my network somehow people end up finding me. Now i don't know all this makes me mysterious???? I thought it makes me boring in guy's perceptive... Link to post Share on other sites
empresario Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Facebook, at least for normal, socially active youth...has become a device between acquaintances more than a network of friends. I've had people add me that have known me for an hour (that I've accepted), because I don't put any stock into social media. Social media for me is to update people that care to know about key events in my life. If I need to say anything personal I will do so directly to people that need to have that knowledge. Now, not everyone has the same look on social media, so I can't say "just add him". But, I do think in a lot of ways you are thinking too much about it. Whether you are or are not friends in social media should have no relevance to your real life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 The older I get, the more I try to put less stock in social media. You can easily overthink. As empresario said, it really doesn't make much difference to real life. I also no longer see it as a necessary step in the process of getting to know someone. I remember in university people would add each other minutes after meeting but never see and/or talk to them for the rest of the semester once cliques had formed. For me personally, I prefer not to add guys I'm interested in as it keeps the mystery and I want the guy to get the know me, not just find info on me through my social media profiles. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xcupid Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Forget FB friending. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loverboy69 Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 OP: May I ask you what methods you are using to quantify him stalking you on FaceBook or other online profiles? How are you verifying this? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Do what you want to do. If he feels there is something wrong with you because you are not on FB, then you are not compatible....don't bother with him then. Just because you like someone doesn't mean you should toss your self worth aside for them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author crazybestie101 Posted December 2, 2015 Author Share Posted December 2, 2015 Do what you want to do. If he feels there is something wrong with you because you are not on FB, then you are not compatible....don't bother with him then. Just because you like someone doesn't mean you should toss your self worth aside for them. Well he hasn't given me any vibes about me being weird for not being on social media, his behavior has been pretty consistent ... Its just me thinking that i am sure at one point he would have thought like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author crazybestie101 Posted December 2, 2015 Author Share Posted December 2, 2015 OP: May I ask you what methods you are using to quantify him stalking you on FaceBook or other online profiles? How are you verifying this? Well way back in august i tried to look him up once on fb but i couldn't as i didnt know his last name. few weeks back , when i went into search bar , i didnt even have to write his full name. I just wrote first alphabet and here he is and that too he is number 1 on the list not even second, third. It might sound crazy but when someone looks you up on regular basis they will populate on your list quite often.. OR may be facebook wanted us to find each other lol I actually have lot of friends who works for social media and i have asked them about it lol Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Don't friend dates. It never ends well. Keep them separate. No good comes from this. Agree with OD...I'm rarely on FB ...but I have to know someone at least 3+ yrs or related to someone before I add them to FB. I'm not into flippy relationships and am a more private person. Respect yourself and don't add him to your FB. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author crazybestie101 Posted December 2, 2015 Author Share Posted December 2, 2015 Facebook, at least for normal, socially active youth...has become a device between acquaintances more than a network of friends. I've had people add me that have known me for an hour (that I've accepted), because I don't put any stock into social media. Social media for me is to update people that care to know about key events in my life. If I need to say anything personal I will do so directly to people that need to have that knowledge. Now, not everyone has the same look on social media, so I can't say "just add him". But, I do think in a lot of ways you are thinking too much about it. Whether you are or are not friends in social media should have no relevance to your real life. I have friends who does that too, like they meet someone for first time, within hour they are FB friends. Like how you said people dont care much about. I don't know how it is for this guy though. For me, i don't care adding people as i am not active. I would rather text, call or meet in person. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyed BlackCat Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Fb friend him, but don't judge him on his fb profile. Just like you don't want to be judged based on your fb profile. Let your face to face interactions be your guide. Link to post Share on other sites
Bobbi7 Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Not a good idea until it's exclusive and your are a couple! I friended a guy I went out with, etc, and I just ended up stalking his every move. I got jealous when "liked" all his female friends picture, especially the ones with wearing the skimpy bikinis! It drove me insane, I stalked his every move. I messaged him constantly, he finally deleted and blocked me when I made this silly comment, "where's your woman?" Facebook really needs to get rid of the "like" button. And to top that off, the guy that I was causally seeing recently liked this attractive girls picture, I went off the deep end. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Its just me thinking that i am sure at one point he would have thought like that. That's because you assume he puts importance on FB as much as you do. FB is very much a girl thing. And no, I have never added a man I dated on my FB and I don't give a heck about what impression that gives out to these men. Link to post Share on other sites
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