MiddleManMike Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I met this woman, she is cute, intelligent and fun to be around. When I call or text she always answers or responds quickly. Every time I have asked her to do something, go for a drive, go to dinner go for a walk she accepts. I am a bit confused because she never initiates contact, calls or text and I have gone days without hearing from her. Is this normal or something to be wary of? I really like being around her. Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Normal, she's a passive type that believes it's the man's job to be courting her. If she responds pretty much straight away and always accepts then she's one of those..... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 My situation is very similar to yours. A girl I am seeing is very much like this. She sometimes initiates but she never says no and when I m nearby she wants to meet up. A lot of people on here wont chase and some say she is "luke warm" towards you and she is maybe waiting for someone who wil come along who is better. In my experience. The girls who I didnt pursue ended up with someone else becuase they thought I had lost interest. I should of kept on pursuing them. I d say its not the norm but "different people, different strokes". Some girls who really liked me back would also arrnage dates, or phone me. People just react differently. I d say see how it goes and take time with her. Since she isnt your girlfriend yet. Soeak to other girls in the mean time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MiddleManMike Posted December 1, 2015 Author Share Posted December 1, 2015 It seems as if you guys are right she must be passive and that is probably going to slow things down and end this. A guy has to have some feedback, its almost rude not to respond a few times. Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 (edited) It seems as if you guys are right she must be passive and that is probably going to slow things down and end this. A guy has to have some feedback, its almost rude not to respond a few times. I'm more traditionally inclined so I'll see if the guy is interested ... I didn't do this consciously many years ago dating pre marriage but single again I'm more cognizant of my more "passive?" side though I'd call it traditional. But...once I know I guy is into me ... I'll definitely initiate contact and plan fun dates, etc. I'm not a game player but want to be assured of a guy's interest as guys are very visually driven and if I don't do it for them ... what's the sense in pursuing. You've shown your interest ...she's REALLY laid back ... This doesn't meld well with your personality and I don't blame you at all. I'm totally not into laid back duds. I like people who initiate and engage as that's me ...I just need a little nudge:) Why should you be the only person putting energy into this relationship? Edited December 1, 2015 by StBreton Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I met this woman, she is cute, intelligent and fun to be around. When I call or text she always answers or responds quickly. Every time I have asked her to do something, go for a drive, go to dinner go for a walk she accepts. I am a bit confused because she never initiates contact, calls or text and I have gone days without hearing from her. Is this normal or something to be wary of? I really like being around her. How long have you been seeing her? If it's early, she's doing her "job" at this point, so to speak. And, I don't wanna get into a whole discussion about roles, blah, blah, blah. If it's early in the "relationship", if the guy can take the initiative to get the ball rolling by initiating communication and setting up dates for a little while, what the woman needs to do is be receptive and responsive and validating his/her interest. After a fairly short time, say a month, she can and should start initiating more and in a balanced way. If you are reaching out to her and she's not responding for days, however, her interest is perhaps low. I'd give her a call, ask her out one more time. If she accepts, great. Enjoy the time with her, encourage her to initiate by making a casual statement like "I like texting during the day when I'm seeing someone" and let her tell you what she likes. Link to post Share on other sites
kismetkismet Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I have a friend that is like that for the majority of her relationships. I don't think she EVER texted her last boyfriend first/for no specific reason for at least the first 6 months. It is just some women's style i guess? personally if I were a guy I would find that incredibly frustrating and I try to talk her out of it haha. As long as she is responding quickly and still showing plenty of interest in spending time together (and as long as you are ok with it) I'd carry on and see how it goes. That could just be her dating style. How long have you been dating? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MiddleManMike Posted December 2, 2015 Author Share Posted December 2, 2015 Thanks for the responses, still not sure how this is going to play out. Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I've dated plenty of women like this before and I have never gotten anywhere with any of them. She's probably not that interested in you. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 There are women out there, and I just read this posted on another thread, that some don't initiate or put in any effort, until it becomes more "solid" or exclusive. I have also read on some threads that, the amount of your effort to take the lead, initiate, chase, etc, is a way to measure how much you value her. Ya stupid I know, because now you are looking at it as possible disinterest and ready to give up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MiddleManMike Posted December 2, 2015 Author Share Posted December 2, 2015 Yeah I get that and dont have a problem putting in a little extra effort to see where this might go. I just refuse to do all the heavy lifting if the other side is going to do nothing.....thanks smackie. I think you nailed it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ic1 Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 OP, how long have you been communicating with her where you have to start the ignition? If it's just starting still, don't worry. She wants you to court her. But, if it's been happening for awhile now, bring it up to her. Link to post Share on other sites
kismetkismet Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Yeah I get that and dont have a problem putting in a little extra effort to see where this might go. I just refuse to do all the heavy lifting if the other side is going to do nothing.....thanks smackie. I think you nailed it. Totally. Just because it doesn't mean she's not interested, doesn't mean that you have to put up with it. I would find that exhausting no matter how much the other person was *actually* interested. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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