Dioxor Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 (edited) So, I'm a 22 years old guy who never had a girlfriend in his life, i feel like I'm never going to get one, years just pass very fast and I'm still not getting one, i said this to myself so much, from when i was about 14 years old i kept saying to myself that i'm going to have one soon but years passed by and i'm now 22 years old and still no girl wanted me. Almost all my friends had at least one relationship in their life, or at least had girls who were interested in them, but as for me, no girl was ever ever interested in me except for one that recently wanted to make out with me but i was so shy to do that because i never did it my life and i would do something embarrassing and many of my friends were there. I feel like a loser not knowing anyone that is in the same situation as me and i know a lot of people.I know guys who are not attractive at all, or guys who look funny and i heard girls who were mad after them. I know i'm supposed to go to girls and talk with them but i'm not able to convince any of them to be with me, i'm not shy around girls i have many friends who are girls but i know i don't have any chance with any of them. By now i'm supposed to have some past experiences/relationships with girls, but i don't have any so i really don't know how am i supposed to talk to them if i don't have any experience. I tried to meet girls at bars/clubs but every time they figured out that i wanted to do something with them they gave me that "uggh" look. I can't really focus anymore on doing everyday things, i can't sleep well at night because of this, i can't even watch a movie anymore, i can't study for university, i constantly think about this problem, i know that everyone says "love will come when you don't think about it" but how am i supposed to not think about it if it bothers me so much? I don't know if there's any hope for me left, i got to a point where even my friends would be surprised if i would get a girlfriend. I live in a country where online dating doesn't get you anywhere so no point in trying that. I know that looks are very important, i don't consider myself very good looking, but i don't consider myself ugly or unattractive. I go to gym regularly, i'm 6'2 (1.88 m) and 209 lbs (95 kg) Edited November 27, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator picture link removed ~T Link to post Share on other sites
BrocasHelm Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 Okay, I see your problem right there, man. It's not about being good-looking or what, it's about desperation. This problem is haunting you, and I'll tell you something, girls can feel it from MILES away. I know saying you'll get a girl when you stop looking for one is cliché and not very helpful, but it's true. I never had more success with girls than when I went out with a don't-give-a-f*** attitude, because they like men who are fun and confident. Am I confident? In real life, not so much, but my philosophy is that I can survive everything, so I can chat up a girl without caring much if I get a number, if I get to make out, if I get laughed at or if I get a slap. You need to always keep in mind that you have nothing to lose. Link to post Share on other sites
Xiomn Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 (edited) Let me tell you son.. Just almost 2 years ago I was coming towards the end of my first year at university, I was 19, never had a girlfriend, never even so much as a kiss, still a virgin. I thought university was the best place to meet lots of new people, including potential partners, but at the time I was depressed because at the end of the year I was still in the same position. I thought I would end up graduating from university still a virgin, still never having been in a relationship or anything and I was really depressed at the thought of it at the time. 2 months later, totally unexpectedly, (and I know it sounds like BS when people say it comes when you least expect it, but in this instance it actually did come when i least expected it) I got into my first ever relationship. It only lasted 10 months but nevertheless, I can now say I've had a relationship and no longer a virgin. Not only that but because of this it also gave me some new confidence in myself, just a few months of getting out of my first relationship I got into dating for the first time ever, met this hot girl dated her for over a month and had sex with her on numerous occasions. Don't give up man. It's amazing how much can change in just 1 year. Edited November 26, 2015 by Xiomn Link to post Share on other sites
BrocasHelm Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 I can relate to that. 20 years old, in college, still a virgin, never had a relationship. Well, the only thing close to a relationship was a girl I smooched with at parties and slept with, but never had sex with her, I was just too terrified for that. Then out of the blue a new girl showed up in my class, and started talking to me. Took me a while to realize she was hitting on me, I had such low self-confidence back then I couldn't believe this was possible. But although I was scared, I gathered up the courage to ask her out. We stayed together for six years. So yeah, great things happen when you don't expect them, just put yourself out there and see how it goes! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 I saw your picture, you are above average looks i'd say,, but there was one problem with that picture why women will not choose you.... Where is the smile? Find happiness within, as a single guy, You don't know how powerful a positive vibe is toward attracting women.... do that and you will have more women chasing you than you can handle! Link to post Share on other sites
littlez360 Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 You need to just flip that switch in your head that has you thinking like that. You can make yourself the most confident guy in the world all by yourself, go out, and land the chick every guy in the bar is gawking at... You just need to get over the possibility of rejection. Get on a train, and purposely go sit next to the most attractive girls you see. Spark up a convo any way you can. Do this kind of thing over and over until you're so comfortable approaching attractive women, that you suddenly realize that you're a smooth talking Alpha male that can grab a womans attention with ease. Link to post Share on other sites
littlez360 Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 When I walk into a bar as a single guy. The first thing I do is I look around, and convince myself, I have more to offer than any other guy here (whether it's true or not). Second thing I do is find the Alpha female, the girl that has the most attention. Third, play the role of the Alpha male... I'm telling you, if you just get over the rejection, get some skills under your belt, you'll be trying women on for size like they're shoes. (sorry ladies... I love you) Link to post Share on other sites
littlez360 Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 The most intelligent business man I've ever read about said "People don't know what they want until we show them what they want" This is very true for most women as well... You just gotta play your cards right and make sure you're the dealer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 Many of the above gave good advice here....something to add to try to help you.... Before you even try to date women, can you talk to them? Have you been friends with them? If you were friends with them were these your buddies GZfs or classmates you met on your own? College is usually the best time to interact and meet people...especially if you are forming it. The thing is you need to put effort into it and try yo meet them. Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 (edited) What country do you live in? Edited November 27, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 If you live in a big city, the odds start to favor you as you get into your 30s. There is some hope. Link to post Share on other sites
LooperDooper Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 This is interesting... I see your point completely and I think a lot of us have gone through it on some degree, maybe not just with your situation but with many different things in life. My suggestion is to start working on you, keep going to the gym and keep doing the things that make you happy. A girl, and trust me on this, a girl is VERY attracted to a guy who is genuinely happy all the time and smiling and in a good mood, because that's the kind of mood people want to have in their life. If you are worried about looks, just work on your appearance, your hygiene and try to dress to impress (not overboard but the important thing is that YOU feel good when you walk out regardless of what you wear). I guess what I'm trying to say is be yourself but start to love yourself. Get up, eat breakfast and make sure everything you do makes you into a good mood. Dress however makes you feel good and confident, try and look good (not like you got out of bed and out) and just smile smile, be in a good mood and trust me people will see it and be more attracted you. Even if it's making more friends or getting a compliment from somebody, it all starts there and everything just slowly and patiently starts following. Relax, I know there is a social stigma with males and having girls and all that, but don't even think about it, it's really all stupid. Just worry about yourself and start making small changes in your day to make YOU feel better, not for anybody else and I guarantee in some time things will change. Link to post Share on other sites
AspenBaldwin Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 If you are not too picky, I'll be your online girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 So much clichéd advice here. Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 I often times wonder, what specifically goes wrong during a guys formative years, as he is going through puberty, his teens, that causes him to remain a virgin and be a late bloomer, never having a girlfriend into his 20', 30's and beyond Link to post Share on other sites
MGX Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 So much clichéd advice here. But does it actually work or is it crap? I often times wonder, what specifically goes wrong during a guys formative years, as he is going through puberty, his teens, that causes him to remain a virgin and be a late bloomer, never having a girlfriend into his 20', 30's and beyond I suspect that at one point during his formative years, a guy might not pick up on a social cue from a girl that is interested in him and will miss his chance to "be like everyone else". In my case, a girl that I was attracted to was interested in me and outright asked to be my girlfriend in the seventh grade, but I turned her down, because I was afraid of what my friends would think of me having a girlfriend. That was a terrible and poor decision that I would live to regret for the rest of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 OP, I envy you that you are 22, I wish I was 22 again Link to post Share on other sites
Mary83 Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 You're fine stop putting so much pressure on yourself to get a women and enjoy life Link to post Share on other sites
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