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My housemate - who has a gf- had a girl staying the night


Natalie8

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First of all, i know this is not my business but i was just curious to see what everyone else thinks.

So my housemate has a gf who works abroad for months at a time, and she lives in "our" flat the rest of the time.

My housemate mentioned to me about meeting up with a female friend, an ex workmate who he hasnt seen in a long time. The girl works in our part of the city and they were meeting up nearby so he told her to just stay at ours afterwards. She was going to stay on the sofa in the livingroom. Sure, i said, no probs.

Yesterday morning i got up to get ready for work and i could hear them in his bedroom talking. She stayed the night in his bed, not on the sofa. I sleep with earplugs so didnt hear them come in during the night but in the morning i could hear her saying that she never normally gets this drunk.

Last night my housemate told me that the girl ended up staying in his bed because he couldnt find a spare duvet. I didnt say anything, but i was thinking to myself: "i wonder how his gf would feel about this"

 

As i said, i know it is none of my business but i feel disappointed in him on behalf of his gf. She is a nice girl and really loves him although i dont know whether she has an issue with him having a female friend sleeping in his bed. I know that the cheating line is drawn by different people differently, i personally wouldnt be ok with this if i was his gf. Even if nothing happened and they only slept..

What does everyone think?

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I suppose it depends on your relationship with your flatmate. Are you close and friends as well as flatmates? If so, perhaps you can discretely advise that he would be well off avoid a recurrence of this situation, for the reasons you outline.

 

But ultimately, as you acknowledge, it's none of your business, so you shouldn't really get involved. Especially given that if you do get involved, you are going to still be living with a guy with whom you might have a soured relationship if he doesn't like what you have to say to him.

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Eternal Sunshine

You should see what mine does :lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

Also, they didn't just "sleep" in his bed :laugh:

 

It's really none of your business so try to disconnect. Also a lesson to you on what "nice" men with "nice" girlfriends do behind the closed doors.

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Well first off, don't bash guys for this. Not all guys would have done this, and many women will do this as well.

 

 

No it's not your place to get involved, but understandable that you'd like to know what others think.

 

 

As a guy in a committed loving relationship, I would know allowing another girl to sleep in bed next to me would not be respectful to my real GF, it would be considered unfaithful in a way to me. I know I wouldn't want some guy sleeping in the same bed as my girl... Just how it is in MOST relationships.

I've been in a couple open relationships, they're certainly not for me, but for some, what he did is completely meaningless.

 

 

If you already mentioned your thoughts about it to him, then that's as far as you should go... Don't go to his GF with what happened, you're just asking for drama.

 

 

There's obvious a moral issue, do you let this girl get hurt by her bf?

Yes... you let their relationship be THEIR relationship.

If his GF was one of your good friends, I could see why you might step in, but in this case... best not to get involved in the drama.

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mystikmind2005

You might want to start thinking about what you will say if the GF comes to you with questions, which is highly likely to happen at some point.

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I'd tell his girlfriend.

 

No, im not getting involved. Maybe she knows and is fine with it and then it will look like im just trying to stir trouble.

 

I would really want to tell him what i think of him after this but i wont do that either. I dont want him to hold a grudge, it would be a crap atmoshpere.

Hopefully he wont make a habit of it as i dont think i can bite my tongue then

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If you spill the beans, you'll lose a friend and a housemate. Not a good situation to be in.

 

I would tell him that you won't be saying anything to his GF, but you won't lie or cover for him, so he better handle it.

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You are right it IS none of your business. BUT this does need to be settled. Have a talk with your flatmate and explain to him, that this sort of thing happening under the roof you both share is involving you. Tell him that you now carry the guilt of knowing his infidelity and that is unfair. And if it comes down to lying for him, tell him you find it morally wrong and won't do it (like PegNosePete said).

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