Mjm1014 Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 (edited) I'm in a tough spot in my life and need some opinions. I currently work for the airlines, which caused me to move away from my family that lives in a different city. Over the course of two years, I met a girl and have been dating her for 6 months and overall we have a decent relationship. She's everything I've ever looked for in a girl. Here is the problem, my company hasn't granted me one holiday off with my family in two years, haven't had a single weekend off, my gf's schedule never matches mine so we only hang out once a week since I'm usually flying when she's off. This career has put an enormous strain on my family since I miss every family function, and am getting to the point I really miss my family and relatives, and they miss me too. Recently, I've been thinking about applying to another airline that is based in the same city that my family is in so I could see them more (it's not as good as the airline I'm at but family time is important to me. Since day one, my girlfriend said she would never move town since she's close to her family-I feel really guilty now that I'm thinking about leaving, and part of me feels selfish. Just need opions on this situation. If I move back to the town I'm from, the relationship will be over which kills me, but I miss my family like crazy and hate that I have to work every holiday and weekend. I feel like time is passing me by, and parents are getting older. Never seeing them and being in their life is killing me...when I found out I'm once again missing Christmas and thanksgiving with them, my mom actually cried on the phone and keeps saying she wishes I would move back to town. I know it's hurting them. Has anyone been in a situation like this? Suckkkkkkkssss!!! Edited November 24, 2015 by Mjm1014 Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 the whole point of human existence is to work, pay bills then die. hmmm, wait, perhaps there is more to life than stupid work? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 It seems like your problem isn't choosing between GF and career, it's choosing between GF and your family. You seem to have already chosen your career and its' unsociable hours. my company hasn't granted me one holiday off with my family in two years, haven't had a single weekend off Well, this will continue to be a problem even if you move, right? It seems like you're sick of the unsociable hours, lack of holiday and weekends off. If I were you I'd be looking for alternate careers. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 MJM - you need to change companys. You need time out or you burn out which is exactly what is happening now. I suggest that you look for something that allows you time off so you can have a home life. Family is important. Your girlfriend could eventually become that but the way things are right now you have no space at all for anything else. I think you need to change that. Either find a company that allows time off or find an alternative career that allows you time off. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 (edited) I'm in a tough spot in my life and need some opinions. I currently work for the airlines, which caused me to move away from my family that lives in a different city. Over the course of two years, I met a girl and have been dating her for 6 months and overall we have a decent relationship. She's everything I've ever looked for in a girl. Here is the problem, my company hasn't granted me one holiday off with my family in two years, haven't had a single weekend off, my gf's schedule never matches mine so we only hang out once a week since I'm usually flying when she's off. This career has put an enormous strain on my family since I miss every family function, and am getting to the point I really miss my family and relatives, and they miss me too. Recently, I've been thinking about applying to another airline that is based in the same city that my family is in so I could see them more (it's not as good as the airline I'm at but family time is important to me. Since day one, my girlfriend said she would never move town since she's close to her family-I feel really guilty now that I'm thinking about leaving, and part of me feels selfish. Just need opions on this situation. If I move back to the town I'm from, the relationship will be over which kills me, but I miss my family like crazy and hate that I have to work every holiday and weekend. I feel like time is passing me by, and parents are getting older. Never seeing them and being in their life is killing me...when I found out I'm once again missing Christmas and thanksgiving with them, my mom actually cried on the phone and keeps saying she wishes I would move back to town. I know it's hurting them. Has anyone been in a situation like this? Suckkkkkkkssss!!! People work to live . . . not live to work. The job market is very dicey, I realize, but perhaps it's time to look for something that gives you more balance in your life. Recently, I've been thinking about applying -- Stop thinking about it and DO IT. I feel really guilty now that I'm thinking about leaving, -- Priorities -- Choosing between woman you've only know for 6 months, haven't really had an opportunity to build and establish a real relationship (lack of good quality time) OR your own peace of mind and family and mother who misses you so much she cries. This is not a choice between your career and your "girlfriend". You don't make life/career decisions based on a 6 month relationship. Edited November 24, 2015 by Redhead14 1 Link to post Share on other sites
okc85 Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 Take a new job closer to home. You will regret the time you didn't spend with your family. If you read about dying people, they always wish they spent more time with people. We're sociable creatures. These days, we're all told to put career first. But I don't buy it. My advice...switch careers. Find something with normal hours. Move back home. It will suck if you have to break up with your GF, but better to do it now if you are unhappy living where you live. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 Life is about people. Everything else is just scenery. Link to post Share on other sites
PieceTablo Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 You need to look at what is important to you, and decide. You will be able to find a new job and a new girlfriend. You will not be able to find a new family. However, there comes a time where you need to start focusing on starting a family of your own over your parents. With that comes focusing on your girlfriend and your job. I myself moved to a different continent for my career, and I rarely see my family now. But I have never been that close to my family. It's up to you what you want to do. While reading your post, I think it's best to move back to the town where your family is, since they seem so important for you. You can find a new girlfriend and start a family there too. A great job is a means to an end. But it's not a great job when it is not conducive to your goals. That's my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 Look, you have a "decent" relationship. That tells me you're not even considering marrying her, so you may as well let this one go. Simple fact is you're not in deep enough to need to stay under any circumstance and neither is she. Even if she gives in and follows you, it will cause resentment and lot of future "You owe me" and at time of pregnancy, a big push to return to her town. It's time to let her go and both of you find someone more appropriate where the logistics will work out. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Divasu Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 Never put someone else's needs above your own. That is a recipe for disaster. Link to post Share on other sites
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