How Do You Use Someone?

[creepygirl]

My Bf is always telling me I am using him and his friends say the same thing. So how am I using him? How do you use someone?

[smackie9]

By not reciprocating, like if your BF pays for all your dates and you don't offer or pay for anything. Or your BF gives you attention/affection but you don't give him the same in return.

 

 

Sounds like your BF gives and you just take.

[Robratory]

My Bf is always telling me I am using him and his friends say the same thing. So how am I using him? How do you use someone?

 

Next time they ask you, say, "What do you mean?"

[ExpatInItaly]

You need to provide more details.

 

In what way does he think you're using him? For money? Accommodation?

[Wewon]

My Bf is always telling me I am using him and his friends say the same thing. So how am I using him? How do you use someone?

 

You need to provide more information.

 

But typically, "using" someone means that you're treating them as a means to an ends, and with not much regard beyond what they can do for you.

 

I would give examples, but having been on the internet for a while I know that people get defensive and will simply response to each specific example with, "Well I'm not doing that specific thing, so I must not be using him."

[Glitters]

For sex

[TaraMaiden2]

Through reading your last threads - how he loves you, but you don't love him - and by his doing whatever you want, but you not doing everything he wants - is how you are using him.

And he's right.

 

if you have a single ounce of kindness and humanity in you, you will end this relationship with him, and let him find a girl who will love him back as he deserves, and who will share experiences equally.

 

If you don't love him, what the heck are you doing wasting his time and USING him for your own personal gratification, satisfaction and convenience?

 

Basically, you're with him because you don't want to be single and alone.

No other reason.

It's selfish, and yes, in that way you are using him.

[basil67]

Here's your previous thread where the context becomes clear http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/558082-1-year-relationship-not-saying-i-love-you

 

You don't love this guy. You don't even sound as though you respect him. So why are you with him?

 

If you're with a person but don't love or respect them, there must be some other benefit for you. And it's probably this benefit which makes people think that you're using him.

[basil67]

*snap* TaraMaiden2

[creepygirl]

Well I am not using him. I do care for him a lot and I respect him and we will work things out. Things between us are better now.

[runforafall]

I feel really sorry for your boyfriend.

 

He deserves better than the emotional crumbs you're offering him.

 

Do him (and yourself) a favour by ending this relationship and letting him go off and find someone who can give him the love he deserves.

[lino]

The sad part is, women like the OP aren't a minority. In fact I can see this personality type becoming more and more common with women nowadays and there are always some guys who put up with it because it's either that or their one handed partner.

 

Very sad.