neolib Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 I met a girl online a month ago and we've went out 3 times. We had lots of sex and were very intimate with cuddling which I took as a good sign. We also had disagreements about things but I didn't think it was anything major. Since then she hasn't replied to any of my texts. I don't understand how she could just cut me out directly after being so intimate without even a word of consideration, I texted her about 6 times unanswered in the last 2 weeks, should I move on immediately? or try to call her and talk to her? Link to post Share on other sites
HansonGirl Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 I met a girl online a month ago and we've went out 3 times. We had lots of sex and were very intimate with cuddling which I took as a good sign. We also had disagreements about things but I didn't think it was anything major. Since then she hasn't replied to any of my texts. I don't understand how she could just cut me out directly after being so intimate without even a word of consideration, I texted her about 6 times unanswered in the last 2 weeks, should I move on immediately? or try to call her and talk to her? I'd move on. she knows where to reach you if she ever decides to have some decency and consideration to properly communicate. Out of curiosity, how old is this girl? Link to post Share on other sites
Author neolib Posted November 21, 2015 Author Share Posted November 21, 2015 Yeah I'll move on then, she's 24, I'm just confused as to why she couldn't have said she's not interested any more. Anyone have any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 If she isn't dead, then she was using you as a placeholder until the guy she wanted came along. I wouldn't reach out anymore, you've done your part. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Yeah I'll move on then, she's 24, I'm just confused as to why she couldn't have said she's not interested any more. Anyone have any ideas? Young women play A LOT of games these days. They say I love you today and tomorrow it's just not working for them. Best to keep moving forward. Link to post Share on other sites
Author neolib Posted November 21, 2015 Author Share Posted November 21, 2015 Nothing is black and white and relationships and fluid and can dynamically fast. Like this one time I used to hangout with younger kid than me and I started get annoyed with him. Because he always talked about Musicians and his dreams that I thought we unrealistic. so I started to ignore him but he kept calling me for months. Eventually he moved away. Now I actually feel bad about treating him poorly but he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Robratory Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Yeah I'll move on then, she's 24, I'm just confused as to why she couldn't have said she's not interested any more. Anyone have any ideas? Because we all star in our own movies. She's doing what she thinks is best for her, and unfortunately, we often lack the maturity and the communication skills to do this considerately. You're probably disappointed about having to find someone else to play with, but what really stings is the contempt she treated you with. Don't hold it too much against her. Learn from the experience, and don't do it to other people. It might make you feel better if you tell her that you understand it's over, and that's how it goes, but that she was rude and inconsiderate in how she went about it, and that she behaved poorly. Don't complain to her. Just state it flatly if you do tell her. Link to post Share on other sites
oregon0011 Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 I met a girl online a month ago and we've went out 3 times. We had lots of sex and were very intimate with cuddling which I took as a good sign. We also had disagreements about things but I didn't think it was anything major. Since then she hasn't replied to any of my texts. I don't understand how she could just cut me out directly after being so intimate without even a word of consideration, I texted her about 6 times unanswered in the last 2 weeks, should I move on immediately? or try to call her and talk to her? Did you have sex on the first date? Sounds like a 24 YR old i was seeing, haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Author neolib Posted November 21, 2015 Author Share Posted November 21, 2015 Cool thanks for the advice everyone! Smart and caring people on here. The takeaways from this are: Move on and in the future don't have sex too soon because the high is not worth the pain for me personally. Link to post Share on other sites
Odinani Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 If you only saw her 3 x it seems unlikely you had all that much sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author neolib Posted November 21, 2015 Author Share Posted November 21, 2015 you're right, I just had a great moment of clarity, I need to be way more humble. Try not to worry about outcomes for my ego's sake. and not act dismissive to anyone. and just come to grips with my own unexceptionalism. Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 you're right, I just had a great moment of clarity, I need to be way more humble. Try not to worry about outcomes for my ego's sake. and not act dismissive to anyone. and just come to grips with my own unexceptionalism. I agree with everything except the last sentence. You are exceptional ... this girl just has a different definition of the word. You're better off being with someone who thinks you are exceptional. FWIW ... I'm stunned at how young people treat each other these days ... makes me wonder how often this girl does this. It's sad. I'm sorry this happened to you ... please don't let it define you. Link to post Share on other sites
Xiomn Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Looks like it's over mate.. I was sort of in the same position, dated this girl for just over a month, 7 dates, multiple hangouts/sleepovers, sex multiple times then she shot off the radar. Link to post Share on other sites
Author neolib Posted November 30, 2015 Author Share Posted November 30, 2015 I'm thinking of send her a message on Facebook. Something along the lines of she hurt me and its really immature of her to cut me out like that. Like she is running away from a confrontation. I deserve an explanation and a chance to redeem myself. Tell her that it's no ok to treat anyone else like that in the future. I don't think it's really a good idea but it just really bothers me that there is no closure. I've moved on now but how can I let someone treat me like this what does that say about me if I don't do anything about it? Link to post Share on other sites
renaissanceryan Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 I dated this girl over the summer for about 6-8 weeks. We saw each other maybe 2 times a week, had lots of sex - then all of a sudden she plays the disappearing game on me. I kept my texts to her minimal - I texted her maybe 2 or 3 times and let it go. Finally after about a month, she invites me to see her out at a bar [after denying that she 'blew me off']. Long story short, we went back to my place that night, and I woke up to find her gone at about 3:30am in the morning because she must have bolted out of my apartment. Turns out her ex-bf had been calling her up and telling her how much he still loved her and wanted to be with her, etc. She just never had the courtesy to tell me that - and technically they were together when she left my place at 3:30 am which suggests she was already cheating on him a month back together. She was the classic crazy/hot scale. Just saying, it's possible an ex may have come into play. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 I met a girl online a month ago and we've went out 3 times. We had lots of sex and were very intimate with cuddling which I took as a good sign. We also had disagreements about things but I didn't think it was anything major. Since then she hasn't replied to any of my texts. I don't understand how she could just cut me out directly after being so intimate without even a word of consideration, I texted her about 6 times unanswered in the last 2 weeks, should I move on immediately? or try to call her and talk to her? I don't understand how she could just cut me out directly after being so intimate without even a word of consideration -- Because usually people are not that emotionally invested after only 3 dates and therefore can move on quickly if things aren't working for them. Just because she had sex with you, doesn't mean she's invested enough or liked you enough to keep moving forward with you. 3 dates and sex does not a commitment make. Since then she hasn't replied to any of my texts -- It's been two weeks with no response -- MOVE ON. Texting or calling her anymore now comes across as desperate and needy. If you were going to call her at all, it should have been before two weeks had passed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author neolib Posted December 1, 2015 Author Share Posted December 1, 2015 I don't understand how she could just cut me out directly after being so intimate without even a word of consideration -- Because usually people are not that emotionally invested after only 3 dates and therefore can move on quickly if things aren't working for them. Just because she had sex with you, doesn't mean she's invested enough or liked you enough to keep moving forward with you. 3 dates and sex does not a commitment make. I think I give off vibes of just casual sex when I want a relationship much more so but I'm afraid to show it. Since then she hasn't replied to any of my texts -- It's been two weeks with no response -- MOVE ON. Texting or calling her anymore now comes across as desperate and needy. If you were going to call her at all, it should have been before two weeks had passed. I'm only contemplating being persisten because it has worked well for me in the past... Link to post Share on other sites
Author neolib Posted December 1, 2015 Author Share Posted December 1, 2015 I'm watching "Great Expectations" now and it is very cathartic. I realized this girl is losing out on me and not the other way around. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I'm only contemplating being persisten because it has worked well for me in the past... At this point, it would not be viewed as persistent . . . It might have been viewed as persistent if you got in touch with her within a couple of days after your last attempt without a response. But after two weeks, meh -- desperate. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author neolib Posted December 1, 2015 Author Share Posted December 1, 2015 At this point, it would not be viewed as persistent . . . It might have been viewed as persistent if you got in touch with her within a couple of days after your last attempt without a response. But after two weeks, meh -- desperate. I've reached out months later before. Should I set higher standards for myself? Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I've reached out months later before. Should I set higher standards for myself? And, that worked for you? If so, those women were probably a little desperate themselves . . . "oh, well, I haven't had much activity on the dating front since this guy, I might as well go out with him again. At least it's a night or two out". Should I set higher standards for myself? -- Heck, yeah. This one hasn't responded in two weeks . . . there will be another one who responds in a timely manner, makes it clear that she really likes you and, if she doesn't, will at least tell you she's moving on in a respectful and honest way. Link to post Share on other sites
Myragal Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I met a girl online a month ago and we've went out 3 times. We had lots of sex and were very intimate with cuddling which I took as a good sign. We also had disagreements about things but I didn't think it was anything major. Since then she hasn't replied to any of my texts. I don't understand how she could just cut me out directly after being so intimate without even a word of consideration, I texted her about 6 times unanswered in the last 2 weeks, should I move on immediately? or try to call her and talk to her? Went out 3 times...lots of sex, disagreements. Doesn't seem realistic. Link to post Share on other sites
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