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Can bleaching my skin improve my dating life


logan415

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I'm a mixed guy with Latin, Indian and Irish which gives me a brown skin complexion but I strongly starting to believe this brown skin is causing me to go dateless, experience not intimacy and never have a relationship. I have a profile on OkCupid and get no views, well I got one view from some lady but I strongly believe she accidentally click on my profile when she meant to click on someone else.

 

I created another profile and uploaded a random white guy picture I Googled image and about 5 hours later I got 3 views and one message from a lady. While my profile stays at no views and zero messages. This is making me believe that having brown skin is killing my chances at finding someone. It hurts it really does. This is why I willing to spend $ 100's to have my skin white so I would be able to attract potential dates on dating sites and possibly in person. I believe people think brown skin is ugly. If brown skin was considered nice I would have gotten more views on OkCupid but I have not. I also tried messaging black girls or anyone with darker skin complexion and still no luck. I think they want a white guy too.

 

Can anyone recommend good skin bleaching cream? I really don't want brown skin anymore. I hate it so I want to change it.

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CrystalCastles

White has nothing to do with it. You are really insecure and lack confidence, and that's the problem, not your skin.

 

Threads like this make me mad. Guys are always blaming their height, skin, blah blah, but whenever I continue reading, I realize that the issue is not something superficial, its a problem with either how the guy treats women, or insecurity issues, or lack of confidence, self esteem and self worth. You sound like you have unhealthy levels of those and maybe you might want to seek therapy.

 

Bleaching your skin isn't going to do anything. I am a 23 year old Russian woman, and although I've been in two relationships with white men (the most recent one looked really Middle Eastern though, he's German but nobody thinks this), I've had crushes on all kinds of men, including Chinese, Cuban and Middle Eastern. Skin color doesn't mean anything to me, and my close female friends think this also- my best friend, a Polish girl, was madly in love with a Latino man. My other best friend is Latino and he's dating a white girl.

 

Edit: and even if you bleached your skin, then what? For the sake of attracting some superficial cow who is dating you only because you're pretending to be a white guy? Would you really want to attract women that shallow?

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mystikmind2005

You don't mention uploading a picture of a random Latino guy with your skin color? It is obvious that this would be part of the experiment if you wanted a genuine answer - but i suspect you have already decided the answer you want.

 

None of these things portray an attitude that women would find attractive.

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You don't mention uploading a picture of a random Latino guy with your skin color? It is obvious that this would be part of the experiment if you wanted a genuine answer - but i suspect you have already decided the answer you want.

 

None of these things portray an attitude that women would find attractive.

 

That is true. I could try but I'm sure the Latino guy may no have any luck as well. I live in San Francisco there is lot of white people here. So my odds of finding a date is very very low.

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Why upload random guys pics if you want to meet these women? All someone has to do is copy the pic and upload it to google image search and people can see where you stole your pic from.

 

If you're willing to change your skin to attract a woman, it isn't that you can't find a woman who wants to date you, it's that you are WAY WAY too insecure to be dated.

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White has nothing to do with it. You are really insecure and lack confidence, and that's the problem, not your skin.

 

Threads like this make me mad. Guys are always blaming their height, skin, blah blah, but whenever I continue reading, I realize that the issue is not something superficial, its a problem with either how the guy treats women, or insecurity issues, or lack of confidence, self esteem and self worth. You sound like you have unhealthy levels of those and maybe you might want to seek therapy.

 

Bleaching your skin isn't going to do anything. I am a 23 year old Russian woman, and although I've been in two relationships with white men (the most recent one looked really Middle Eastern though, he's German but nobody thinks this), I've had crushes on all kinds of men, including Chinese, Cuban and Middle Eastern. Skin color doesn't mean anything to me, and my close female friends think this also- my best friend, a Polish girl, was madly in love with a Latino man. My other best friend is Latino and he's dating a white girl.

 

Edit: and even if you bleached your skin, then what? For the sake of attracting some superficial cow who is dating you only because you're pretending to be a white guy? Would you really want to attract women that shallow?

 

There is more white people where I live so I don't have much choice to make such changes. I know it sounds bad but if that is what takes then I guess that is what I need to do. People always say sometime you have to make changes in your life to make yourself attractive and if bleaching my skin does that then that is what I will do.

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CrystalCastles
There is more white people where I live so I don't have much choice to make such changes. I know it sounds bad but if that is what takes then I guess that is what I need to do. People always say sometime you have to make changes in your life to make yourself attractive and if bleaching my skin does that then that is what I will do.

 

How do you know that? You don't know where I live.

 

Well if you're going to do it anyway then what was the point in asking us? I would date a Latino/Indian man (provided we have good chemistry, same outlook on life, get along well etc) any day. I would never date someone who bleached their skin so they could pretend to be someone they're not. That's just disgusting.

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How do you know that? You don't know where I live.

 

Well if you're going to do it anyway then what was the point in asking us? I would date a Latino/Indian man (provided we have good chemistry, same outlook on life, get along well etc) any day. I would never date someone who bleached their skin so they could pretend to be someone they're not. That's just disgusting.

 

I know it sounds bad but I'm just having a hard time. I see white guys getting dates while I'm at zero. I'm out everyday I see this with my own eyes. I'm just at that stage where I'm willing to go to drastic levels to attract mates otherwise I will be single for life. At my age 29 years old I should had least had few dates and least one relationship even short term. But when you go to 29 years old, still single and never dated your whole life you question what needs to be done. I see mostly white men where I live and I see them on dates all the time. Yes one in a blue moon I will see a interracial couple but it hardly happens. Maybe your more open but here its not like that at least with me its now. Everyday I log into OkCupid and I still have no views, no messages compared to the white guy photo I posted that had views and a message. This is why I'm willing to do such a drastic change.

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organizedchaos
That is true. I could try but I'm sure the Latino guy may no have any luck as well. I live in San Francisco there is lot of white people here. So my odds of finding a date is very very low.

 

It's your attitude not your skin color holding you back.

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I know it sounds bad but I'm just having a hard time. I see white guys getting dates while I'm at zero. I'm out everyday I see this with my own eyes. I'm just at that stage where I'm willing to go to drastic levels to attract mates otherwise I will be single for life. At my age 29 years old I should had least had few dates and least one relationship even short term. But when you go to 29 years old, still single and never dated your whole life you question what needs to be done. I see mostly white men where I live and I see them on dates all the time. Yes one in a blue moon I will see a interracial couple but it hardly happens. Maybe your more open but here its not like that at least with me its now. Everyday I log into OkCupid and I still have no views, no messages compared to the white guy photo I posted that had views and a message. This is why I'm willing to do such a drastic change.

 

You know white people don't inhabit that much of the planet? Sure it depends where you live, but the majority of western countries are multi cultural now. If you're willing to bleach your skin in order to get a date it speaks volumes about you. Women can sniff weakness like a rottweiler on a pork chop. That's where you're going wrong, nothing to do with your skin.

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You know white people don't inhabit that much of the planet? Sure it depends where you live, but the majority of western countries are multi cultural now. If you're willing to bleach your skin in order to get a date it speaks volumes about you. Women can sniff weakness like a rottweiler on a pork chop. That's where you're going wrong, nothing to do with your skin.

 

Then how you explain things like this:

Odds Favor White Men, Asian Women On Dating App : Code Switch : NPR

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I can explain that because I don't live my life on a dating app. Nor would I ever want to, because if you have to rely on attracting someone by looks alone you have a problem.

 

And one small time study doesn't speak too many volumes. If you were confident and had a good personality it would shine through your profile I'm guessing.

 

I don't know I prefer meeting people in real life first so there are no one thing people rely on, you either like someone or you don't.

 

If you wanna online date where people probably do focus only on looks to start out with then you should be a little more patient, and work on your profile about you skills. Lots of women aint all about looks they want someone they can talk to and relax with and laugh with etc.. If you come across as scared, nervous, insecure and unsure of yourself regardless of what you look like you will be ignored.

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I'm mixed race too OP. I go anywhere from really lite skin to golden to bronze to brown. I use to live in NorCal and during the winter months I go pretty pale and do OK with women (in person). And then when the sun really starts coming out and I start getting a glowing golden type skin....the problem is I get so much attention from women that it ****ing interferes with the other women I am already with. Then when I go to brown, it's back to just doing OK again.

 

Have you tried a picture of a really good looking guy that is a dark complexion for your online testing?

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FeelingFireworks

How/why have you come to view yourself as just a skin colour & believe that your dating success relies on that? Requiring that kind of validation of self esteem is self destructive and unattractive.

 

Even if you bleach your skin, you're going to be a white man with the same insecurities. You then going to hide your family from your new gf for fear she dumps you when she finds out you're really brown?

 

My opinion: Focus on being the best version of yourself. Get fit, get stylish, educate yourself, and encourage yourself to socialise with purpose (not just dating) so your people skills and dating options improve. it's not a quick fix & that's the point. Quick fixes don't last. Yes you can 'fake it til you make it' to a point, but ultimately you need to work on building your confidence up properly until you feel it in the core of your being.

 

Look at successful role models who you can also relate to physically instead of fixating on their white counterparts. Anyone from family to celebrity. It'll prove your colour isn't The issue. They will give you inspiration.

 

And learn to appreciate your heritage instead of focussing on what you think are negatives (superficial at that). I've dated guys from ALLLLL sorts if backgrounds, and having pride in your roots in the right way can actually be very sexy.

 

Let's face it, there WILL be people who don't like things you can't control: age, skin tone, height, etc. That's life. When your skin thickens you'll disregard that & see it as people helping you weed themselves out of your pool of desirables.

 

If you still want to bleach your skin, it's your personal choice & I hope itll be a safe and satisfying process. It would be interesting to have you report back to see if it really does improve your dating life.

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mystikmind2005

You need to believe in yourself, because if you don't believe in yourself, how do you expect anyone else to believe in you?

 

please watch;

 

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The experiment you did was not conclusive on anything but your desire to be something you aren't.

 

I suggest you take the time to deal with your insecurity rather than dating. Everyone has their preferences but it is confidence that everyone is drawn to.

 

Take your profile and work it so that it shows who YOU are, and not who you would be if you were someone else. Take some nice photos doing things that you like to do.

 

Why aren't you messaging women? Are you waiting for them to message you?

 

Don't disguise yourself. Be proud of who you are and be confident in YOUR own skin.

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I believe people Think brown skin is ugly. I really don't want brown skin anymore. I hate it so I want to change it.

 

Brown skin ugly???:eek: I'm very dark mixed race and I used to get lots of looks that translate to flirts to dates very often. Have you yourself reached out to anyone yet? In online dating, guys usually have to do lots of chasing I hear. I also thought brown / caramel guys were highly sought after. Post your OLD profile photo, let's see :)

 

I love my brown skin:love:. I would shave off all the hair on my head and walk on the streets naked if I could show it off more!:p

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I created another profile and uploaded a random white guy picture I Googled image and about 5 hours later I got 3 views and one message from a lady. While my profile stays at no views and zero messages. This is making me believe that having brown skin is killing my chances at finding someone. It hurts it really does.

 

Your skin color is probably playing a part in this, a very small part. Basically, you got 3 views and 1 message from women that most likely only want to date white guys. That's not much of an improvement.

 

The plus side of this is that your skin is only a minor issue, I would even argue a non-issue if you consider what you really want.

 

That means the real problem is something in your profile, that you can control and adjust, because your "white" you didn't get many responses either.

 

Have a friend review your profile and see if there is anything off-putting that you can fix.

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Stop being ashamed of who you are.

 

It's not your looks. It's your lack of a compelling, engaging profile to spark the imagination to the point where they want to reach out and find out more about you. From my experience with OLD, there are a precious few of those.

 

Do you have the money or years required to whiten your skin to the point where you look caucasian? You'd have to do your whole entire body for that to work. Also, you'd have to get your family whitened, too--because how are you going to explain your parents to someone you've been lying to about who you really are? Do you see how this mess snowballs into areas you hadn't even considered?

 

You would be well advised to talk to a therapist about your rejection of your own self instead of trying to find a way to white-wash who you are just to get a date. Read profiles of men you view as "successful", and see what they have to say about themselves. Just because some white guy is getting a bunch of views doesn't mean that anyone is going any further than looking at their profile and passing them up. Seems to be the case a lot from what's posted on these boards here.

 

A lot of your rant is you projecting, not necessarily what is going on. No one is owed attention just because they have a dating profile; and no woman is obligated to contact you if your profile doesn't engage them enough to do so.

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I really don't want brown skin anymore. I hate it so I want to change it.

 

As a child I read a nursery rhyme:

this creature looked at itself and felt sorry for itself for all the things it didn't have; it looked at a lion and wished it had the lion's mane; then it looked at an elephant and wished it had the elephant's trunk; then it looked at a ...

Then one day it woke up, and it had

all the things it had wished for.

It had a lion's mane, an elephant's trunk, a duck's feet, a bird's wings, a bull's wide chest, a peacock's tail, etc... There was a cartoon drawing of this creature.

 

And what it lacked was an authentic identity; what 'it' lost was all meaningful definition of what it used to be.

 

Change all the extrinsic features of yourself, if you want; mask yourself based on what you think other people like, but at the end of the day, you will have to look at yourself in the mirror and breathe inside your own brown skin that you hate.

 

So, suppose your best wish comes true, meaning you actually do get a date; meaning this person likes you for your fair skin color. How will she then react when she finds out you were hiding your real color? How will you feel to be liked for having a marvelous costume?

 

Hey, I get it--you're frustrated.

But your skin color is not the problem--the fact that you see it as a problem is the problem.

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