Jump to content

My girlfriend told me she is having a guy sleeping over at her house. Should i worry?


AntonDaems

Recommended Posts

Background:

We know each other for a very long time now ( +- 2 years ). When i got to know her she was dating one of my friends but that ended last year and since then we grow close to each other. We are dating now about 2 or 3 months and our relationship is great. She is a very clever girl and living in a house about 5 minutes from where i live. She works hard and treats me like i never been treated before, plans trips, gifts etc etc. She is 31 years old and i am 24 years old. She has a high function at her work and i just finished my degree and start with working next year as a fitness manager of a known fitness club.

We dont fight and if there is something we both tell each other what is wrong and talk about it until we both satisfied. Our sex life is amazing, so i can not complain about anything. We have plans in the future of moving in together but in meanwhile i have her house keys and she even gives me her bank cards. Like we have no trust issues.

 

Situation

She is finishing her thesis as she is still doing extra degrees and for that she needs help of a friend that she knows for a very long time, so she told me he is coming this weekend to work on her thesis and she said he is sleeping over as he has to come from far out where she lives. She told me so i was ok with it but i still am a little bit worried. Do i have reasons to worry ? I trust her very well, she is serious about life and about us so i dont think anything is going on but you always have those thoughts popping up in your mind.

I told her that i dont really like it and she understands but she does know him way longer than me as they where friends from university back in the day.

Any insights are welcome.

Thanks in advance.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't listen to that ^ guy, sheesh.

 

Should you be worried? No. Are you worried? Apparently so. So ask yourself why.

 

Frankly I would drop the loser who wouldn't allow me to offer a place to stay for an old friend or someone who was helping me out, just because they're a guy. Talk about insecurity. There is such a thing as trust - kind of important in relationships! Do you have any reason to believe that she would be dishonest with you or unfaithful? Have you had concerns about her relationship with this guy before (if so, what was the reason for it)? If you answered no to both, then clearly you're the problem. She was upfront with you, you expressed your concerns, now let it go.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah - if you trust her, then trust her.

 

(Stranger things have happened but it'd be an odd way to hatch a plot to sleep w/somebody.)

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

People who cheat don't blatantly say they have someone coming to sleep over.

Highly doubtful there's something going on with her friend. Just be a cool boyfriend and don't let suspicion ruin your relationship.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I believe it's just always healthier to follow the innocent til proven guilty rule. In relationships, trust needn't be earned. If you're with that person - you should trust them, unless they give you reason not to. And if they give you reason not to, then maybe you shouldn't be with that person. Distrust poisons relationships. That's why it's so hard to re-establish relationships once one person has cheated - it's difficult to get that trust back.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Background:

We know each other for a very long time now ( +- 2 years ). When i got to know her she was dating one of my friends but that ended last year and since then we grow close to each other. We are dating now about 2 or 3 months and our relationship is great. She is a very clever girl and living in a house about 5 minutes from where i live. She works hard and treats me like i never been treated before, plans trips, gifts etc etc. She is 31 years old and i am 24 years old. She has a high function at her work and i just finished my degree and start with working next year as a fitness manager of a known fitness club.

We dont fight and if there is something we both tell each other what is wrong and talk about it until we both satisfied. Our sex life is amazing, so i can not complain about anything. We have plans in the future of moving in together but in meanwhile i have her house keys and she even gives me her bank cards. Like we have no trust issues.

 

Situation

She is finishing her thesis as she is still doing extra degrees and for that she needs help of a friend that she knows for a very long time, so she told me he is coming this weekend to work on her thesis and she said he is sleeping over as he has to come from far out where she lives. She told me so i was ok with it but i still am a little bit worried. Do i have reasons to worry ? I trust her very well, she is serious about life and about us so i dont think anything is going on but you always have those thoughts popping up in your mind.

I told her that i dont really like it and she understands but she does know him way longer than me as they where friends from university back in the day.

Any insights are welcome.

Thanks in advance.

 

Like we have no trust issues.

 

I trust her very well

 

She told me

 

She works hard and treats me like i never been treated before

 

Do i have reasons to worry ? -- You haven't mentioned one thing that indicates you need to worry. You trust someone until they give you a reason not to. If she becomes sketchy or her behavior towards you changes after his visit, then you worry. For now, you believe that they will be working on her thesis -- something that requires a high level of responsibility and dedication and sometimes help/input from others . . .

 

She is finishing her thesis as she is still doing extra degrees -- given the fact that she works and is working on her thesis and extra degrees, I seriously doubt she's looking for or even has the energy to cheat. I'd bet it's all she can do to be able to make time for and have such a healthy relationship with anyone.

 

In addition, if there is time, I would invite her to bring him out for dinner or lunch with the two of you. This way you meet him, he meets you and the circle of friendship grows. Including each other in friendships is a nice bonding opportunity.

 

Keep your insecurity in check. She would likely be very offended and "dissed" if she knew you were thinking this way.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...