7675 Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 So there's a girl I like. I've been kinda too forward and trying too hard. I think it's put her off a bit. But lets just say she still has a bit of interest. She liked this other guy, thats mainly why she wasn't willing to start anything with me, but I don't think it worked out between them. So she isn't purposefully looking for anything right now, but at the same time, she wouldn't be against seeing someone. The problem is my persistence has been detrimental to my chances with her. Right now, I don't know what to do. I'm favouring leaving it. She knows I like her and if she is/becomes interested, she knows where to find me. But a part of me feels that I may have to be a bit proactive (in a smarter way) and actually do something about it. Otherwise she'll be taken by someone else. What do you guys think? Any advice Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 So there's a girl I like. I've been kinda too forward and trying too hard. I think it's put her off a bit. What do you think you've done that constitutes 'trying too hard'? So she isn't purposefully looking for anything right now, but at the same time, she wouldn't be against seeing someone. That sounds pretty non-committal. The problem is my persistence has been detrimental to my chances with her. Right now, I don't know what to do. Again, we need more facts about what has occurred - how you've shown your interest, whether you've been on dates, what you've done to try and woo her etc. I'm favouring leaving it. She knows I like her and if she is/becomes interested, she knows where to find me. Have you actually asked her out? Link to post Share on other sites
Author 7675 Posted November 3, 2015 Author Share Posted November 3, 2015 Alright. So, long story short... Yes, we went on 1 date in mid september. Scheduled another 1 a week later but she flaked. I could tell she didnt seem as interested as before, so when we spoke she told me about the guy she liked. They weren't together though. Trying too hard was me constantly asking her if she wanted to hang out. She would mostly agree, but something always got in the way. Either she had to go home, or was busy, etc. Now, I know the whole, "if someone likes you, they'll make time" But she actually seemed keen on meeting up. In the end, I probably asked too much. Plus I kinda got annoyed on a few occasions when it seemed like she was making excuses. Trust me when I say, I didn't handle it as well as I couldve. Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 Okay well you may need to put this down to experience and just move on to the next best thing. But don't be hard on yourself. There's nothing wrong with expressing interest in someone. If it wasn't ever transpiring into a real date, she wasn't as interested as she seemed or she was juggling things in her life/too busy to date. I would also think telling you about another guy is a distancing tactic and no woman would say that if she was genuinely interested in you. Either that or she has no boundaries. Next time if she turns down another date just ask her in a friendly way to get in touch with you when she is free. That puts the ball in her court and if she doesn't reply, then you know the answer. It doesn't give her all the power and you won't have to keep asking. Plus I kinda got annoyed on a few occasions when it seemed like she was making excuses. What actually happened? Give an example of when you got annoyed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 7675 Posted November 3, 2015 Author Share Posted November 3, 2015 She told me something about her letting me know when her schedule was less busy so that we could hang out. We're in varsity, her schedule can't be that hectic. So I got annoyed at that excuse. But look... the point is I dug myself into a hole. Her and I are (mostly) cool with each other, but she has said that sometimes I can be too much (I chased too hard), and I'm sure it's put her off a bit. You are perfectly right that moving on would be the smarter thing to do. But I get the sense that she's now more willing to start seeing someone other than guy she liked. In that case. I want to know how best to get myself out of this hole. Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 She told me something about her letting me know when her schedule was less busy so that we could hang out. We're in varsity, her schedule can't be that hectic. So I got annoyed at that excuse. Well to me that would put me off a guy as if he thinks I am not telling the truth. It's like the guy thinks he knows my life but he really doesn't. Even if you're in doubt about what's really happening and how busy she really is, you just need to say something like "okay hit me up when you're less busy". Her and I are (mostly) cool with each other, but she has said that sometimes I can be too much (I chased too hard), and I'm sure it's put her off a bit. Maybe it lost a bit of mystery to her? I mean if you had taken a step back and told her to hit you up when she was free, the ball is in her court and she knows that your time is valuable and you are desperate to spend time with her. You are perfectly right that moving on would be the smarter thing to do. But I get the sense that she's now more willing to start seeing someone other than guy she liked. In that case. I want to know how best to get myself out of this hole. I'm not sure to be honest. I hope someone else can reply and help. If she is looking at other guys, you should be doing the same by also considering other girls on your radar. Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 *not desperate I mean Link to post Share on other sites
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