fundamental Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 We all know that a lot of the time: Too much attention = you become boring fast and get dumped Too little attention = GF seeks for attention elsewhere and eventually cheats on you So, what is the right amount of attention to give to your GF? Also, do you guys talk to your GF every night on the phone if she asks for it in your LTRs? Women: Do you feel that if you recieve too much attention in a LTR, you become bored? Do you feel that the less attention in the relationship is because it is secure/comfortable (comfort zone)? fundamental Link to post Share on other sites
Anais Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 My husband calls me every day. And we chat online some too. It was his choice. I don’t find it boring at all. I think it is wonderful. However, he gets up at 6 am before his works starts to call me. I have 10pm then. He sounds so tired and sleepy sometimes that I tell him not to call me next day. He says he cannot because I will start to worry then. And it is kind of true. If he doesn’t call one day I start thinking something happened to him. I know is it very unlikely but I am spoiled now. I think too much attention is always better. Though you shouldn't do it only to please the partner but rather from having need to do so. Link to post Share on other sites
mehim Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 i dont get that much attention, i would like him to call me every night, but that doesnt happen anymore, i personally dont call him anymore, i leave it for him to call, unless i need something to tell him right away or a question. he is not the romantic type of guy, so attention from him is little, but im kinda used to it, i would like a little bit more attention than he gives me, but too much i dont want it. its true that it gets boring if there is too much attention. what i believe and sometimes happens in my relationship is giving each other attention every once and a while, like one month we wouldnt be so close to each other or wouldnt talk that much on the phone etc... the next month we would be communicating alot more, seeing each other more, trying to romanticize which is little but some talk is there. i think that the right amount of attention to give is: pay attention for a certain time or event, then not so much, then start over again with a bit more. Link to post Share on other sites
Anais Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 yes and if I would call him it is about 2 $ per minutes and he calls for 2 cents. That is why he is the one to call all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 I talk to my girlfriend all the time. We don't live together. She usually calls in the morning, we talk once or twice during the day to check in, and once after work to see if we feel like getting together and once before bed to say good night. I don't think there's a right amount you could prescribe. You should be true to yourself mostly. If you are really tuned in to your own needs, then the right amount of time/attention to spend/pay should be a secondary concern. I expect my girlfriend to be bored with me sometimes. I also expect her to stick it out and tell me. I also expect her to let me know if she needs more time/attention from me. I expect her not to fill in gaps with some other guy. We give each other a hard time about stuff like this all the time, and the result is we're generally pretty sure about what the right thing to do is. I just be myself until I find out it's causing problems. The way she responds to that is very important. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fundamental Posted January 21, 2005 Author Share Posted January 21, 2005 I think I am trying to find the right balance for my relationship. Sometimes my GF calls every day, and somtimes I do. Just recently, we have not had too much to say to each other since we both work long hours, have been busy, and don't have a lot of time to talk. I know it depends on the both of us. I am interested to read the responses of others. So far, very interesting. mehim, If he called you every day, you would become bored? Or would you like it considering he isn't the romantic type? Link to post Share on other sites
Author fundamental Posted January 21, 2005 Author Share Posted January 21, 2005 Ladies, Appreciate your responses. However, would you become bored with every day calls...say a few minutes just to check on each others days. I don't mind if my GF calls me every day, not that I crave the attention, but I always like to know how she is doing since I don't get to see her much. fund Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 I don't think there's any right amount of contact between a couple--it comes about through people's needs/work schedules. Some people may enjoy talking to their SO daily, other people may go a couple of days and be as content. I see my boyfriend 3-4 days out of the week (we live an hour apart) and I just prefer talking to him in person than over a phone. Other people would feel differently. Be honest with your girlfriend if you want to talk to her more. Some people do feel more connected when they talk to a person regulary, even if it's a "hope you're having a good day" call. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fundamental Posted January 21, 2005 Author Share Posted January 21, 2005 We have both admitted that we are not phone people ( talking in person is better ) yet we talk every day. I think we are getting comfortable where we dont have to talk every day...which is nice because sometimes I have nothing extremely important to say to her or to anybody. fund Link to post Share on other sites
mehim Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 i do like it when he calls me every day, but we do it for a period of time not all the time, i like to be on my own not so dependent on a bf. i wouldn't become bored if he would call every day. i do like it. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 I'm still confused. Do you mean LDR (Long Distance Relationship) or LTR (Long-Term Relationship)?????? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 Originally posted by fundamental We all know that a lot of the time: Too much attention = you become boring fast and get dumped Too little attention = GF seeks for attention elsewhere and eventually cheats on you So, what is the right amount of attention to give to your GF? women ususally say they want MORE attention but when you give it to 'em then they lose interest real fast. it is diff if you are married, i think. personally i mix it up now. for a while give her more attention for a wk or two then back off and don't see or talk with her for less. talking or seeing each other every day is a very bad idea. even if I am in a serious LTR i only see her maybe twice per wk on average. some guys i know must see their g/f every day and usually they end up smother ing the woman and she splits. basically you need to be attentive at times and not so attentive at times. and don't be predictable cause it is the kiss of death with women. Link to post Share on other sites
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