How often do you keep in touch with someone you've been dating for a few weeks?

[adilaurentis]

I guess the answer to this question varies case by case. Normally I'm not bothered by this question but lately I've noticed that I tend to invest in something emotionally too quickly and although I try not to let it show to others, it does bug me in private. So, say if you have been seeing someone in the last few weeks (about a month) and things have been going pretty well, how often do you typically keep in touch at this point? I'm curious because I didn't hear from the guy I've been seeing last night and it got me kinda concerned because for the most part he's really consistent.

 

I'm not sure if my situation has warranted such worries. I've been seeing someone since mid-September and things have been moving along well. There are about 18 miles (usually 30 minutes of driving) in between us so technically we're not in the same town that we can easily see each other all the time. His work also keeps him quite busy most of the time. However, we've been in touch mostly via texting almost every single day since our first date, and we've both said that we're mutually attracted to each other and that the feelings here are genuine. Overall he's quite attentive and eager to set up the next time we get together very early on each time. I've also spent three nights at his place. Occasionally he'd talk about something that projects into the future such as meeting friends, being my date at social events, cleaning out a drawer for me at his place, etc.

 

I've been hurt before where men were too flaky and I was too into them to recognize the signs, so this time I told myself to take things slowly and cautiously. The whole situation still surprises me that something is going so well that I'm almost not used to it. What's also great is that he'd usually still keep in touch even when he's out with his buddies for the night, or when his family comes to visit; he'd always let me know what he's up to as much as he could.

 

Having said all that, we're still not exclusive or in a relationship yet, so I guess we're both free to date other people too. So I guess there's no way for me to tell if he's out on a date with someone else unless he's really in touch every single day.

[Jejangles]

I'd say most of the guys I have gone beyond say two dates with are in touch daily or every other day. I went on a first date last week with someone and we have date two lined up next week, and we have pretty much texted every day since our first date (a few texts a day not all day!) A guy I dated for five weeks over the summer texted every day then started calling every few days after a couple of weeks.

 

I probably would notice if I hadn't heard from someone I was dating for about 24 hours or so. Do you have your next date lined up already? I think consistency in communication between dates is a good sign of interest. The guys I have dated who have been inconsistent or less in contact between dates almost always tended to be lukewarm on me, or emotionally unavailable. But I wouldn't start to panic just yet, he may just have not had anything to say last night. Would you feel comfortable reaching out to him?

[shet]

The period of time you've "been dating" is less significant than the frequency with which you go on dates. I'm seeing someone right now that I've been out with 3 times in about 5 weeks. Her holidays, and both our work, are an obstacle. It's low intensity. We text, midweek, to set up a weekend date if possible. Rarely, a "how are you" text. That's it. That's how I like it too. This is often how it goes with the women I see.

 

In the past, I've dated someone who texted almost non stop except for work hours, for months. It's unbearable. And I've dated someone who was meeting up 3 times a week, also a lot of messaging. I'll mirror how they contact me. If they text all the time, I'll respond. If they call, I'll call. Also, it doesn't reflect anything about who else I'm seeing.

[Lovelorn00]

I'd like to preface this response with this disclaimer: I SUCK at dating, and though I read a lot of the threads here, I don't normally post responses, because I don't feel like I have anything useful to contribute, because, well, I such at dating.

 

However, your situation sounds a lot like mine. If I hadn't heard from a new love interest in 24 hours, that would've triggered all kinds of worry. I'm a huge fan of consistent behavior when it come to men. Any deviation from that behavior, and my alarm bells start ringing and red flags start waving.

 

Is it always a bad thing? No. Like you said, your guy is pretty busy with work. Mine was, too, but he still managed to text me all day every day. He also managed to contact me while he was out on a river kayaking once.

 

Once a day or two goes by without communication, the worry starts. The problem with me is that I can sometimes let this anxiety show in my subsequent interactions with the guy. No, I won't say anything about it, but perhaps subconsciously my guard is up, and this can create more trouble down the line.

 

So, I guess, all that to say - just keep the worry in check. Like Jejangles said, it's not time to panic yet. You sound a lot like me and your guy sounds a lot like mine. Super attentive at first, lots of future-talk, affectionate, highly communicative. Just keep your emotions in check and don't let all that stuff suck you in.

[todreaminblue]

when i have been dating for a few weeks i go by what feels natural and pick up on cues and vibes from the guy i am dating i do keep in regular contact......and i answer messages if i get them...i am not a real big initiator not in the initial stages..if i get a message i reply....and then adjust by how many messages or phone calls i get..........i dont really like constant text messages..or hours upon hours with a phone glued to my ear while i am cooking or on the toilet or trying to finish my day in relative meditation...phone calls sort of destroy quiet reflection time........takes me a while to type messages touch screen too....i really prefer the mobile phones with buttons....

 

 

i think communication should feel natural and not forced from either side..i normally let the guy lead.....because that also feels natural....if you do what comes naturally ....its peaceful..deb....