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Am I Going Crazy?


anduina

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This may seem like a crazy problem but I don't know what to do.

 

Around eight months ago, I met a younger guy where we became friends. He's 24 and I'm 27. I was helping him with his dating skills since he's such a shy, sweet guy, incredibly intelligent and a little high strung. The help worked and he started dating which was fantastic since he shouldn't have had problems in the first place since he's quite hot. But no matter who he dated, there was something wrong with her so he didn't date them for more than two dates tops. All through this time, we kept in touch, where he would ask for advice and each time, the advice worked.

 

Then one day it occurred to me that I had a bit of a crush on him which was terrible since that wasn't what our friendship was about. Never said a word to him about it, keeping my feelings to myself. Then one day, he asked me what being in love felt like. I told him and then he blurted out that he was in love with me. I was shocked into silence. He retracted it and we remained friends but he keeps pushing me a little here and a little there where it feels like we're playing with fire. Sometimes I can't breathe, the sexual tension is so high.

 

But I can read him loud and clear, predict everything he's feeling, most things that he's going to say. It doesn't feel right since it feels like as if I'm taking advantage of him, that this isn't how friends treat friends since he's told me so much about himself.

 

I'm so confused, what should I do?

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TunaInTheBrine
This may seem like a crazy problem but I don't know what to do.

 

Around eight months ago, I met a younger guy where we became friends. He's 24 and I'm 27. I was helping him with his dating skills since he's such a shy, sweet guy, incredibly intelligent and a little high strung. The help worked and he started dating which was fantastic since he shouldn't have had problems in the first place since he's quite hot. But no matter who he dated, there was something wrong with her so he didn't date them for more than two dates tops. All through this time, we kept in touch, where he would ask for advice and each time, the advice worked.

 

Then one day it occurred to me that I had a bit of a crush on him which was terrible since that wasn't what our friendship was about. Never said a word to him about it, keeping my feelings to myself. Then one day, he asked me what being in love felt like. I told him and then he blurted out that he was in love with me. I was shocked into silence. He retracted it and we remained friends but he keeps pushing me a little here and a little there where it feels like we're playing with fire. Sometimes I can't breathe, the sexual tension is so high.

 

But I can read him loud and clear, predict everything he's feeling, most things that he's going to say. It doesn't feel right since it feels like as if I'm taking advantage of him, that this isn't how friends treat friends since he's told me so much about himself.

 

I'm so confused, what should I do?

 

I'm not sure where the problem is exactly. He likes you, you like him. Are you taken or something? If so, yeah, that's an issue. If not, then what's holding you back?

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I'm not sure where the problem is exactly. He likes you, you like him. Are you taken or something? If so, yeah, that's an issue. If not, then what's holding you back?
I'm single. It's that he's a close friend, someone who's so innocent. It feels like I would be taking advantage of him.
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He's 24. He's not a child.
You're right, he's not a child but he's so wide-eyed where our friendship in the past was more like older sister and younger brother. It feels wrong to date someone who's told you so much about themselves, open to his older friend advising him.
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TunaInTheBrine
I think you worry too much.

 

Maggie is right. If you like him, and he likes you, and you're both adults, what is the problem? I think the sex would be mind-blowing between the two of you. Go for it.

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You're right, he's not a child but he's so wide-eyed where our friendship in the past was more like older sister and younger brother. It feels wrong to date someone who's told you so much about themselves, open to his older friend advising him.

 

You're over-thinking this. If you like each other and you think he's a good guy, give it a go. He's an adult, you're an adult. I don't see the issue unless there's more you haven't shared about you two. You speak about him as if he's a much younger person with zero life experience, when in reality he's only three years younger than you. Not a big deal, in my opinion.

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I think if you both feel attracted to each other then you can start dating, no problem. In the past I was good friends with 2 girls before we "officially" started dating.

 

But no matter who he dated, there was something wrong with her so he didn't date them for more than two dates tops.

 

Don't take this the wrong way - but I think this might be an underlying fear that's preventing you from pursuing it, yes?

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You're right, he's not a child but he's so wide-eyed where our friendship in the past was more like older sister and younger brother. It feels wrong to date someone who's told you so much about themselves, open to his older friend advising him.

 

:laugh: What do you expect happens in relationships, do you think couples clam up and reveal nothing about themselves? I suppose some do, but I can't see how those make for fulfilling relationships.

 

I think you're overthinking things, if he likes you and you like him, just go for it. You wouldn't be the first couple that starts out as friends, and you certainly won't be the last.

 

27 and 24 is a negligible age gap. If you were 50 and he was 20 or something then I would advise you otherwise, but your ages are really nothing to worry about.

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You're right, he's not a child but he's so wide-eyed where our friendship in the past was more like older sister and younger brother. It feels wrong to date someone who's told you so much about themselves, open to his older friend advising him.

 

If that were an issue then my GF and I would certainly not have been a good match. She knew a lot about me and vice versa when we started dating. You're overthinking this way too much OP. Go with your gut. You like him. He likes you, I don't see the issue here.

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Don't take this the wrong way - but I think this might be an underlying fear that's preventing you from pursuing it, yes?
Not really. My greatest concern was that it didn't feel ethical to do this to a friend who had opened up and told me about his heart and soul; how young and inexperienced. But after reading everyone's advice, YOLO.
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Not really. My greatest concern was that it didn't feel ethical to do this to a friend who had opened up and told me about his heart and soul; how young and inexperienced. But after reading everyone's advice, YOLO.

 

Good luck! Let us know how it goes. :)

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Good luck! Let us know how it goes. :)
Thank you. I was so nervous, I only texted him a few minutes ago admitting my feelings. His response was 'coming over right now'. Think I'm going to throw up, I'm so nervous, feeling dumb and excited.
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