savvy2008 Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 We've been dating for 7 months, he's very respectful and attentive. He's a pay for every meal, open the door, call when he say, etc kind of guy. We see each other quite often. We live 30 minutes away but work just a few minutes from each other so we take breaks together or have dinner together a lot. My concern is that sometimes he seems very into me, saying he misses me when we just saw each other, or commenting how he can't go without seeing me for more than a day, but then sometimes we'll compare schedules and he'll suggest the next time we can see each other to be many days out. It seems like a contradiction to me and it makes me feel as if his "I miss you" sweet words aren't as genuine. For example, Saturday we compared schedules and he commented Thursday would be the next day we could see each other, but I saw an opportunity to see each any of the other days. He will also surprise me at work sometimes and act like I mean everything to him, while other times he seems totally content to not see me for a week. Why the difference in feelings? When I ask him about it he says he always wants to see me. Then why the totally different attitudes? Link to post Share on other sites
Betany Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I could be wrong, but maybe he has other obligations to take care of in between seeing you....like family, friends, or church. Sometimes when we are really into someone we have a tendency to make them our first priority and push other things aside, but not everyone is like that. His "I miss you"s probably are genuine, but a lot of guys have an innate need to take care of their other business while still trying to make time for us. It's an entirely different story if you are being treated as an afterthought, the thing he gets around to after he is done saving the world and doing whatever it is he has to do outside of work obligations. From what you said though, that doesn't seem to be the case. This may be his "norm"...seeing you when he can, and letting you know he's thinking of you even when he can't be with you. I know it's hard to even bring this stuff up to guys because then they tend to think you're being needy or clingy and trying to monopolize their time. Some guys just need their space, and they have pockets of time they reserve for the things and people who are important to them. Seven months is enough time to establish a dating pattern. You need to be prepared that it may always be this way. If this isn't something you want or see yourself feeling comfortable with long term, you may need to have a diplomatic talk with him about it at some point. Just don't let it eat away at you to the point where you keep it bottled up and end up unloading on him about something he may not even be aware is a problem for you.. Link to post Share on other sites
Terry8889 Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 (edited) Maybe the guy has other occupations, he cannot be holding your hand 24/7. As the poster above said there some people who will completely make you the center of their attention and forget about everything else, like school, work, family, friends (which is not healthy at all) but many others are like him, they distribute their time the best they can, he might want to have some time by himself too. You cannot expect him to come running to you every minute of his free time. If I were you I would be happy he tells you those nice things, and even goes to work and surprises you. It seems like he really wants you to know you are in his mind. I would suggest to not make this a big deal or complain about it to him because he might take it as if you are being clingy or needy. Nobody likes that. So relax a bit and get busy with stuff as well. Edited October 13, 2015 by Terry8889 Link to post Share on other sites
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