Ultra123 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 (edited) Hello Community members, I will tell you right now I messed up big-time it's actually my fault, need to regain my confidence to walk away from this horrible situation I am typing this on my iPhone so if there's any mistakes I'm sorry About four months ago I met this girl, we started going out but then I was giving too much into the relationship I was not being enough of a challenge, I would always pay for everything give her everything she wants do anything she wants she would always complain or concern about something I would always be there and basically became pussy whipped The only physical intimacy I had with her was when I slept over at her house about two months ago and we fooled around a little bit but I did not it and was not able to have full sex She works as a bartender and I'm seeing signs and flags that she's leading me on using me and she's a player: All her friends are guy friends she can walk around the city and tell you all the buildings, and a different men who live there. She said she's on tinder but it's too it's to promote the bar; lie!!! She's emotionally detached she won't allow me to tell anything about myself anything that's good moments in my life nor was she ask anything or show any interest She said she's not ready for commitment She has not introduced me to any of her friends except for her roommate which is just as matter convenience She gets upset when there were a few times where I didn't pay for her meal, she's never offered to pay Anytime we do go out for my walk her home she won't let me upstairs into our kisses are superficial there's no making out mind you I've been going out with her for four months. And we do walk out in public she does not want to be holding my hands being close to me gets nervous it's like she's always almost looking out for another guy. And she's always hiding her phone when she's texting Duh!!! Here's the final nail in the coffin: after I drop her off on a date I saw her get an uber and she said she went to get pizza and came back, so I waited a little bit she never came around that I went to a place in the morning she was not home she had slept over at somebody else's house, happen if you times that I caught her and I confronted her about it and she said I'm asking too many questions she became very defensive, and stated that she wants to be free and I'm asking too many questions and I can't can't handle the dating title It's all my fault for allowing myself to get pussy whipped lose my balls and my confidence and then I got played big-time how do I get out of the situation Edited October 10, 2015 by Ultra123 Typo Link to post Share on other sites
WaylonWoods Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Oh wow. Yeah, sorry mate, sounds like you're being used. Remove her from your life and learn from the experience I think is the only advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ultra123 Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 Thanks Waylon, I also asked her before I was leaving for out of town for her to stop by my place for a little bit just have a little alone personal it's time and she said she can't do any of that until two weeks from now when she finally has her job she's going to try to get me hooked and have me come out again when I'm back home in town she's going to try to manipulate me she's a master manipulator her I have to get just get my balls back to walk away thanks man Link to post Share on other sites
Revan32 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 This is why I never actually try and get girls into relationships. The girl should always be the one who's trying to lock you down. It's never a good sign if a guy is trying to get a girl to stop seeing other people. If she's seeing other guys, you should just shrug it off and be happy you can still hook up with other girls. Thats the only way it could come close to working out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ultra123 Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 Thanks man, yea I'm definitely going to see other women in meantime because she said we are not exclusive and she said she would not care even of I had slept with someone else; I mean that means she has no hint of jealousy whatsoever haha Yea I'll see other women, that's a start Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Yes, you have to move on and learn your lesson. If you wish to get some balls back now, you've mentioned that she's always wanted you to pay for her. So I suggest that you call her and invite her to the most expensive restaurant you can think of, "to apologize to her for your controlling behavior". Play the game, eat, drink, and before the desert, tell her that you're going to bring something you forgot in your car, (wallet or something), get out and never come back, and never answer to her calls or texts... Why bothering so much over a stupid needless act? For nothing. Just for fun and getting your balls back. a 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ultra123 Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 Haha thanks man, that sounds like a brilliant idea haha. I will definitely consider running the play, appreciate the help Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Haha thanks man, that sounds like a brilliant idea haha. I will definitely consider running the play, appreciate the help It's not a revenge. It's following her scale. When a girl wants you to always pay for her, at least eh must "give" sex in return. So, if she didn't supply this, now she must pay for your dinner. Simple equation. :cool::rolleyes: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ultra123 Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 Oh that makes perfect sense dude, absolutely love it man! Genius Link to post Share on other sites
xcupid Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Yes, you have to move on and learn your lesson. If you wish to get some balls back now, you've mentioned that she's always wanted you to pay for her. So I suggest that you call her and invite her to the most expensive restaurant you can think of, "to apologize to her for your controlling behavior". Play the game, eat, drink, and before the desert, tell her that you're going to bring something you forgot in your car, (wallet or something), get out and never come back, and never answer to her calls or texts... Why bothering so much over a stupid needless act? For nothing. Just for fun and getting your balls back. a And, of course, before doing that the OP has been accepted into the Witness Protection Program because you know the old saying about a woman scorned, right? Link to post Share on other sites
deadelvis Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 I dated a chick exactly like that. A few actually. I think it's safe to assume she's really hot? Just to play the Devils advocate, sometimes those type of girls will eventually let down the wall and give you their heart. Unfortunately it doesn't usually take very long before they get bored and start reverting back to their old ways. But you can learn a lot about women from dating a girl like that. It's often painful and traumatizing, but in the end you are a stronger person. It's like a power struggle between you. You trying to get her to act like a decent girlfriend and her trying break your heart so often that it stops hurting. After one of those relationships you're ready for anything. They unconsciously turn you into a player by making you so jaded toward women that eventually you're just like them, detached and emotionally vacant. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ultra123 Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 And, of course, before doing that the OP has been accepted into the Witness Protection Program because you know the old saying about a woman scorned, right? Haha i was thinking I had to change the code on my house lock because she will burn it down!! Lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ultra123 Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 (edited) Deadelvis thanks for the reply, she texted me that s doesn't owe me any alone Personal time, she will do it when she feels like; and I dont owe her a fancy dinner haha; sheesh her nerve And you know what, I want to date like 10 women at a time now and be a player haha Edited October 11, 2015 by Ultra123 Typo 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaInTheBrine Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Stop talking to her completely. Now. Seriously. Or else I'll kick your ass. But seriously, my advice to you is this: Go hang around some dudes who are mature, confident, and know how to set boundaries with women. Watch them closely, talk with them about women, follow their lead. Never tolerate a woman like the one you are talking to now. Know your self-worth. Be a man. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 The solution is simple...tell her to kick rocks and bounce. When she texts you, and she will tell her your dating elsewhere and that you hope you can remain friends. Then totally ignore any attempts of her reaching out. The thing about people who act the way she is, they hate rejection so she will turn it up to suck you back in. Don't fall for it, she will continue to be this person once she has her hooks in you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Christos Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Deadelvis thanks for the reply, she texted me that s doesn't owe me any alone Personal time, she will do it when she feels like; and I dont owe her a fancy dinner haha; sheesh her nerve And you know what, I want to date like 10 women at a time now and be a player haha This is a major red flag. Actually, if, after the first couple of dates, a woman doesn't give you more time and affection, she is a player, commited elsewhere, or has some issues. That is why, contrary to female "advice", you should always push for more often dates and more personal time, after the first few "get to know each other" dates. If she won't commit to that, leave her. Let her tell you you are a pig and only care about sex, like the recent woman i dated told me. This is crap and she knows this, but wants to guilt you into compliance. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Stop talking to her completely. Now. Seriously. Or else I'll kick your ass. But seriously, my advice to you is this: Go hang around some dudes who are mature, confident, and know how to set boundaries with women. Watch them closely, talk with them about women, follow their lead. Never tolerate a woman like the one you are talking to now. Know your self-worth. Be a man. ^^^ This. OP, what happened in your life that caused you to allow yourself to be treated this way? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ultra123 Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 (edited) This is a major red flag. Actually, if, after the first couple of dates, a woman doesn't give you more time and affection, she is a player, commited elsewhere, or has some issues. That is why, contrary to female "advice", you should always push for more often dates and more personal time, after the first few "get to know each other" dates. If she won't commit to that, leave her. Let her tell you you are a pig and only care about sex, like the recent woman i dated told me. This is crap and she knows this, but wants to guilt you into compliance. Thanks she says that having the dating title gives me ok much control and entitlement and we can still be dating without a title; I was a little demanding and overbearing, wondering if she is saying it so that she doesn't feel guilty about whatever she does She told me be confident an less desperate about the title. She said it made me treat her like property without opinions..and she wants To more free Edited October 11, 2015 by Ultra123 Typo Link to post Share on other sites
Christos Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Thanks she says that having the dating title gives me ok much control and entitlement and we can still be dating without a title; I was a little demanding and overbearing, wondering if she is saying it so that she doesn't feel guilty about whatever she does She told me be confident an less desperate about the title. She said it made me treat her like property without opinions..and she wants To more free She is gaslighting you... No need to wonder my friend. She is saying this because it suits her... Gives YOU entitlement? She doesn't want to get intimate with you, after so much time, and you are "entitled" now? Just drop her. Back in the day, when i was 16, i used to read "game" and PUA ebooks all the time... I remember one of the rules imprinted on my mind, was to never do things for a woman i don't have sex with. This has served me well along the years... So, keep this in mind. Never invest into someone who isn't willing to have sex with you. It is not painful to her, it is actually enjoyable, and if she is an honest adult, and likes you, she will want to do it herself. Not giving you any sex after a few dates, means she is either trying to play games, or takes it from elsewhere... Drop her fast and never look back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ultra123 Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 She is gaslighting you... No need to wonder my friend. She is saying this because it suits her... Gives YOU entitlement? She doesn't want to get intimate with you, after so much time, and you are "entitled" now? Just drop her. Back in the day, when i was 16, i used to read "game" and PUA ebooks all the time... I remember one of the rules imprinted on my mind, was to never do things for a woman i don't have sex with. This has served me well along the years... So, keep this in mind. Never invest into someone who isn't willing to have sex with you. It is not painful to her, it is actually enjoyable, and if she is an honest adult, and likes you, she will want to do it herself. Not giving you any sex after a few dates, means she is either trying to play games, or takes it from elsewhere... Drop her fast and never look back. Thanks man, what does gaslightinf mean Link to post Share on other sites
Christos Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Thanks man, what does gaslightinf mean Basically, she is BSiting you... Saying things aren't how you perceive them to be... Link to post Share on other sites
SugarLips72 Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 She sounds like a hot mess in general and its obvious she does not like you as much as you like her. I see no value whatsoever in even being friends with her. What does she have to offer you? Don't keep in touch move on with your life. If she liked you she would have had sex with you by now, more than once. But she is obviously not interested in you enough but leading you on just a bit so she can continue getting what she wants. Sorry. Cut your losses here and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ultra123 Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 (edited) She sounds like a hot mess in general and its obvious she does not like you as much as you like her. I see no value whatsoever in even being friends with her. What does she have to offer you? Don't keep in touch move on with your life. If she liked you she would have had sex with you by now, more than once. But she is obviously not interested in you enough but leading you on just a bit so she can continue getting what she wants. Sorry. Cut your losses here and move on. Thanks appreciate it; she's been tryin to get me to join this company thing of hers cause she needs people like me, but that's like using me almost And how come she is able to walk around the city and tell me oh this guy lives here...yadda...yea I know what she's up too Edited October 11, 2015 by Ultra123 Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 This is why I never actually try and get girls into relationships. The girl should always be the one who's trying to lock you down. haha I never try to seem like I am trying to lock a guy down until I know he's legit into me. It just gives me more control and confidence. I want to play it cool and follow the guy's lead. Maybe I take this too far sometimes, who knows? But I get the gist of what you say. I think, gender excluded, people need to show clear boundaries and know what they can and cannot accept. OP should have disengaged long before it got to this point. It's nothing to worry about anyway. He's just learnt that she's not worth it so it's a positive outcome. Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 After one of those relationships you're ready for anything. They unconsciously turn you into a player by making you so jaded toward women that eventually you're just like them, detached and emotionally vacant. Yeah the bad guys and girls make you jaded. But I like to think this eventually turns into a stronger appreciation of the everyday more likable people we should all be dating. All I know is I don't give so much of a crap if the guy I'm on a date with gets me really excited or feeling on edge. I'd much rather have someone kind and caring who I'm attracted to but is less unpredictable. Link to post Share on other sites
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