I don't know how to handle this.

[Pinkpa]

I have been dating a great guy for 6-7 months. Things I thought were great. Both of us are divorced with kids. His divorce was 7 years ago no long term relationship since then. The longest was 6 months. Said he knew it was getting serious and he ran. His marriage was bad. Divorce was terrible. Took him forever to get his confidence back. Well lately he says he has been panicking about us. I recently moved to the same city for a new job. (Was moving before we met). He feels that now it's real. I don't pressure him. But our families like each other and like us together. Now i have caught him casully texting other woman Platonic conversations or searching other girls profile on fb. He is walking a thin line. This has started within the last few weeks. Feel him emotionally withdrawing. Not sure what to do. I went home for 2 weeks which is a different city then I was living in so we didn't see each other for a while before I moved here. Communication was not as heavy. I could have been more available. I think that hurt him. He never brought it up. But things changed since I have been back. I asked did he want to break up answer was no. Don't think he's cheating or saw anyone else. Feel like he's questioning am I the one. Said he wants to work through his fear.

 

Question has anyone been through this. How do I handle this.

[Gaeta]

 

Question has anyone been through this. How do I handle this.

 

You sound very sad, I am sorry for what is happening. It's disappointing to invest 6 months into someone then they suddenly change.

 

What to do? Absolutely nothing. When a man wants to pull away, you let him. There is nothing you can say or do that will make him change his mind. He needs to work through this on his own.

 

I would like to point something to you. He's been divorced 7 years, and his last relationship lasted 6 months. It's possible 6 months is all he can invest then he feels trapped.

 

Also, be aware men remain in unhappy relationships much more than women. Him not wanting to break up is not necessarily meaning he wants to work through problems, maybe he just doesn't want to be alone. If he really wanted to work through things he would not communicate with other women and maintain 'borderline' liaison with them. I would fear he is looking to replace you before breaking up. Especially that he's been distant since your return. I think he got closer to someone else during that time.

[RightThere]

I asked did he want to break up answer was no. Don't think he's cheating or saw anyone else. Feel like he's questioning am I the one. Said he wants to work through his fear.

 

Question has anyone been through this. How do I handle this.

 

He's not ready to be in a serious relationship. Chances are, he may never be ready so I would hate to see you waste any more time on hoping he changes.

 

If he was just distant, that would be one thing. The fact he's checking out and talking to other women should be a huge red flag that you are a low priority to him.

 

You handle it by breaking up with him and getting on with your life.

[xcupid]

Sorry to say but I think you're wasting your time with him. He doesn't sound like he's emotionally ready for a serious relationship.

[Popsicle]

7 years and he's still not ready? I'm afraid he will never be ready.

[warshaw]

Are you exclusive with him? If so, then he's crossed the line by contacting other women and if you wish to maintain your self respect you have no other choice but to kick him to the curb. If you don't he'll continue to disrespect you until he ultimately meets another woman at which time he'll disrespect you even more by cheating on you, unless he just dumps you.

 

You really don't want to be waiting around for that to happen.