One_Love Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Hey everyone! First post! Well I am kind of in a rut. And I will take any advice. Here is my situation, Well, I am 25 years old and I work in a retail store, I've been eyeing one of my coworkers. She is newer to the store than me. I usually talk to her in the break room and crack jokes to make her laugh. So I am quite friendly with her. Fast forward a few weeks later I decide to just say screw it and ask if she wants to hang out after work. She responds by saying she is down and gives me her number. So we text a bit after work but she fell asleep. Understandable, as she closed the previous night and had to open. So I think nothing of it. She apologized and said she is free the next day. I am thinking great! But later that day she stopped replying to my texts halfway. And she just completely forgot that we were supposed to hang out. The day after I stupidly asked her via text if she was angry at me. She said kind of playfully "heck no!". At this point I just made everything awkward.... So a few days later, my other coworkers and I decide to get super drunk. And once again, i started drunk texting her. Granted, I was in no way, shape or form, vulgar in any way, I was just flirting a bit over the phone. The gist of our conversation was that I thought she was pretty cute and wanted to get to know her a bit more. She thinks that's sweet and she is down to kick it after work. So at this point she knows I like her and she is not really responding to my advances. So the next few days we were texting each other once again and she brings up she is sick so I ask if I wanted to bring some soup for her, she agrees and like a dummy I get her some hot soup the following day at work. So when I went to deliver (oh gawd I feel like a tool) the soup I said "oh, here you go. Feel better!" And instantly walked away. She honestly caught me off guard and I felt awkward at improvising on the spot. So later that night we were texting each other and said to me if I was nervous, I said I felt a bit awkward, she said its fine and told me she wanted to give me a hug for bringing her soup. I said "I'll take a rain check for when I do something more impressive" right after I sent that I instantly felt like a douche. She said haha ok! And I ended the conversation by saying good night. The next day I was scheduled to work later in the evening and my coworker told me she asked her about me if she was "feeling me". Her reply was essentially "No, not really". When my coworker told me that, I felt super rejected. I feel like the worlds biggest loser. So, I pretended to shrug it off but it's honestly been bugging me. Mind you, she does not know i know she said that. Now I am not the most good looking guy in the world but I am actually quite have a fun personality, I felt if she were to hang out a few times she would see that. So my question is that should I just not talk to her at work or text her anymore? Or should I just give it a few days and see if she will hit me up. I am ready to move on but I would really like to see where this one will go because I do actually quite like her. Any help will be great and I apologize for my very long and honestly, pathetic story! Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 I could tell right away she wasn't that into you. it was her responses like " she is down to kick it after work". ...that is what you say to a buddy. Your mistake? You asked to "hang out", that is not asking someone out. Secondly, you call and talk, or you wait and talk on a date. Texting is for kids. Next you panicked when she stopped responding to your texts.....got a little needy, no girl likes that. You pretty much know the rest, she isn't going to take a second look. Best thing to do is keep being the friendly always joking guy. Ignoring her is douchy, and you have done enough of that. So stuff those feelings of disappointment down so she can't see your defeat. Be the bigger person and act like it's just like any other day. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author One_Love Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 Hi thanks for the reply! Yeah, I messed up a lot didn't I? She actually just texted me to hang out over the weekend, I'll just said "sure". Worst case scenario is that I gained a friend. At least I know for next time! Thank you again for some real words! Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Hey it's always better to play it kool, right? Let her keep guessing how you feel. No more drunk texts, or asking her what she is up to. If you are going to text her, have a funny story or something of interest that will intrigue her. Best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 I read "retail store" and "coworker"....that is double negative! Link to post Share on other sites
Author One_Love Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 Thanks! Yeah that's the plan, I'll just act like a friend I suppose. if she warms up to me then cool, if not. Meh lol. Yeah I know right!? But it's cool we work different departments, and I hate the job and don't care if I get fired. Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 and I hate the job and don't care if I get fired. That's terrible especially at 25! Maybe worry less about girls and more about your occupation Link to post Share on other sites
Author One_Love Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 Oh I know, I am actually taking a nursing right now and this is just a throw away job that's next to my school lol. It will be all good! Link to post Share on other sites
Author One_Love Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 Well I have a feeling I'll be stuck in the friend zone with her lol, we texted a lot last night but, it felt as if I am talking to one of my guy friends. Link to post Share on other sites
SSM3 Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 I wouldn't advise dating a co-worker Link to post Share on other sites
Rephinican Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Dating a coworker is never really that great of an idea. I tend to believe in that old adage "don't fish off the company pier". Even if you don't necessarily need the job, work experience tends to look good on a resume and you never know who is going to become your best reference for that internship or full-time position in the future... But regardless, if this girl is not really reciprocating your advances (and I think you've made it pretty clear that you're interested through the drunk texts, and the whole "rain-check" reply) and is saying that she's not really "feeling you" in the same way you are "feeling her" she's probably not that interested anyways. Likely, she just wants you as a friend and has been being polite so as not to hurt your feelings and ruin said potential friendship. If you're cool with that, then that's great! New friends are nice and she could end up becoming a good friend. But a girlfriend? I don't see that happening. -Reph 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Well I have a feeling I'll be stuck in the friend zone with her lol, we texted a lot last night but, it felt as if I am talking to one of my guy friends. Dude don't get into text seshes.....be aloof. To be desirable is to be less available. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author One_Love Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 Yeah I was thinking about that last night, we texted too much and I was cracking way too many random jokes. I definitely keep it short next time, but how am I supposed to reply back without being kind of a douche? Because initially she asked if I was free over the weekend and if I wanted to hang out with her. I said "I am working sat but I may be free on sun" she just replied with a single word text: "okay" I was, like okay so an hour later I replied with an inside joke we have and we proceeded to text each other for a couple of hours. Now that i am wrote cliff notes on what transpired, I've come to the realization texting IS for teens and not for someone my age. I feel like a little schoolgirl. Not good lol Link to post Share on other sites
python23 Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Never date a co worker, worst mistake I've ever made in my life. It lead to a horrible 2 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Author One_Love Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 You know the funny thing is at the place I work at, there are so many couples who work together, granted in other departments but there is quite a bit haha, I think I was kind of getting a bit envious to be honest. Link to post Share on other sites
wb1988 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 So we text a bit after work but she fell asleep. Understandable, as she closed the previous night and had to open. So I think nothing of it. She apologized and said she is free the next day. I am thinking great! But later that day she stopped replying to my texts halfway. And she just completely forgot that we were supposed to hang out. The day after I stupidly asked her via text if she was angry at me. She said kind of playfully "heck no!". You bore her to sleep dude. If she was even slightly into you she'd stay awake responding to you until you stopped. Also the if she's angry part was a terrible move, so needy bro and so was the soup. That's terrible especially at 25! Maybe worry less about girls and more about your occupation Yeah she probably thinks of him as a loser that's in the same boat as her, like why'd she date that guy. OP I'm just kidding we proceeded to text each other for a couple of hours. Terrible. Whatever you texted about are things you should have left face to face. You know the funny thing is at the place I work at, there are so many couples who work together, granted in other departments but there is quite a bit haha, I think I was kind of getting a bit envious to be honest. That sounds great, doesn't have to be her though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author One_Love Posted October 9, 2015 Author Share Posted October 9, 2015 Hey thanks for the reply! Yeah I actually totally agree, I kind of messed up... A lot! But it's all whatever now. Hey it's all good, I love taking in criticism, I just hate it when people hide it. Thanks for being up front! Link to post Share on other sites
Author One_Love Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 Bump, I am interested to hear more intricacies of the dating world lol Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 That's terrible especially at 25! Maybe worry less about girls and more about your occupation Meh, I've noticed most people that either work in the food industry...waiters/waitresses/bus boys, etc. Or place stock boys/clerks, etc. They don't give a rats arse if they may jeopardize their jobs by dating co-workers. If he was in a regular career or stable job, then I'd stay away from dating co-workers. Most min. wage jobs are only temporary anyhow. Link to post Share on other sites
Author One_Love Posted October 17, 2015 Author Share Posted October 17, 2015 Just a quick update but we finally went out. The date went pretty good I think. Let's hope this one goes somewhere! Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 Just a quick update but we finally went out. The date went pretty good I think. Let's hope this one goes somewhere! You get to kiss her? If you did then yes that's a good date. Link to post Share on other sites
one goal Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 I'm having a similar issue with a cute girl at work too right now. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/552641-cute-hot-nice-chick-work-i-like-but-one-issue Link to post Share on other sites
Author One_Love Posted October 17, 2015 Author Share Posted October 17, 2015 You get to kiss her? If you did then yes that's a good date. Unfortunately, no kiss. She was putting on a hella Chapstick before I dropped her off though, I probably should've made the move. I have a question though, after I dropped her off and went home I texted her, "hey, it was good seeing you! Have a good night!" But it's already the next morning and she still hasn't responded? I am not sure what to think to be honest. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 Don't think anything. Ask her out again later. Link to post Share on other sites
Author One_Love Posted October 18, 2015 Author Share Posted October 18, 2015 It's funny, right after my last post, she texted me and said she wanted to lean in for a kiss but she was sick and didn't want me to get sick. She actually wasn't feeling well as she called in the previous day and went home early yesterday. But she still wanted to see me, so I think that's a good sign! So I will ask her out again maybe tomorrow or the next day when she is feeling better. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts