Celeste.Carol Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I am getting closer to loathing OLD because of the crazies on there. What can I say about the men. A huge category of 'You cannot change me's,' which translates into, I am an arse and plenty of women have called me out to change and the next one is 'NO DRAMA PLEASE,' usually written in all caps, which screams drama in it's own right and translates as: I am a huge arse so there has been plenty of past Drama. I have to add another: 'You must accept me as I am,' and then this type goes on to list a huge 'specific' list of all a woman should encompass which translates as he never accepts others for who they are. A rant. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Don't forget they are all crying that OLD doesn't work for them & they can't figure out why they can't meet a nice woman. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
StocksnBlondes Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 (edited) What age range are you looking at? I'll agree OLD has a lot of crazies (wish crazy could be branded into their forehead or maybe a yelp version of online daters) but any guy who says no drama I just stay away from. Daters who say this usually have conflict aversion so if anything comes up their emotionally ill equipped to handle. As for changing ...not into changing someone's character but minor adjustments in habits can be necessary for harmonious dating/cohabitation ...I'd clarify that one. At least where I live there is too large of a selection of guys so I'd pass if their profile is full of red flags for you. Edited October 6, 2015 by StocksnBlondes 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Yeah, when I see that "NO DRAMA" in their profiles, I laugh. Funny how the man who had that in his profile was also the man who dissolves into an alcoholic mess to the point where he has to be admitted to both the dry tank and the psyche ward of the county hospital. If that doesn't qualify as drama, I don't know what does. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 OP, I'll grant that such profiles aren't written to win friends and influence people in a positive fashion. Of course, so many of the women's profiles have similar issues, so it's not a gender-specific problem. I can understand where some of those men are coming from, because some haven't learned how to filter or select who they date - maybe they just don't have much luck and will meet anyone who is willing. How often do people accept others for who and what they are? We all have our ideals and preferences, and if someone meets a bunch of those criteria, we may want to nudge them to change in those few other ways to be our ideal. Women do seem to love a fixer-upper! Of course, this seldom works to any significant degree. Men can make the same mistake, of course. So, they are not crazy. Maybe you are crazy to expect other than reality? Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I can understand where some of those men are coming from, because some haven't learned how to filter or select who they date By the age of 56, I expect for them to have mastered this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 By the age of 56, I expect for them to have mastered this. You'd be wrong, then. Many are newly back into the dating pool, so have no current dating experience. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Celeste.Carol Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 By the age of 56, I expect for them to have mastered this. So true. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 You'd be wrong, then. Many are newly back into the dating pool, so have no current dating experience. Hence them getting thrown back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Celeste.Carol Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 What age range are you looking at? I'll agree OLD has a lot of crazies (wish crazy could be branded into their forehead or maybe a yelp version of online daters) but any guy who says no drama I just stay away from. Daters who say this usually have conflict aversion so if anything comes up their emotionally ill equipped to handle. As for changing ...not into changing someone's character but minor adjustments in habits can be necessary for harmonious dating/cohabitation ...I'd clarify that one. At least where I live there is too large of a selection of guys so I'd pass if their profile is full of red flags for you. I date between 38 and 56. I just recently started OLD. I have been meeting more promising suitors, asking to go to plays etc, rather than dinner, but still just waiting for the mask to drop and the big bad wolf to appear. Yes, I am skeptical. I really hope to meet someone in real time and not OLD. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 It's funny. Back when I was doing OLD about 5 years ago, I was looking in the 50-55 age range. When I'd do a search of men in a 20 mile radius in that age group, I'd often refer to the search results as "The Parade of the Damned." Most of them looked like my grandfather, not 50 year old men. Out of shape, some were really grossly overweight, bald, haggard as HELL looking, so utterly unattractive it wasn't even funny. And a good lot of them had all these 'requirements' on their profiles as though they were bringing top notch stuff to the table when most of them looked like the old men you see in the park playing chess. And as stated, a lot of them had the 'take me as I am' attitude. LOL. I'd be willing to bet that they're STILL on the site to this day - using the same old pictures they've been using for years. They probably haven't had any takers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I date between 38 and 56. I just recently started OLD. I have been meeting more promising suitors, asking to go to plays etc, rather than dinner, but still just waiting for the mask to drop and the big bad wolf to appear. Yes, I am skeptical. I really hope to meet someone in real time and not OLD. I've always been of the opinion - and had it proven to me over and over and over again - that the 'crazy' doesn't come out for the first couple of months. Most are still on their best behavior, but eventually, it starts showing itself. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Hence them getting thrown back. Yes. Eventually they may learn from their mistakes. Then they'll be accused of being shallow for rejecting women who make similar mistakes. LOL It's a wonder that anyone succeeds at dating, much less OLD! Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 It's funny. Back when I was doing OLD about 5 years ago, I was looking in the 50-55 age range. When I'd do a search of men in a 20 mile radius in that age group, I'd often refer to the search results as "The Parade of the Damned." Most of them looked like my grandfather, not 50 year old men. Out of shape, some were really grossly overweight, bald, haggard as HELL looking, so utterly unattractive it wasn't even funny. And a good lot of them had all these 'requirements' on their profiles as though they were bringing top notch stuff to the table when most of them looked like the old men you see in the park playing chess. And as stated, a lot of them had the 'take me as I am' attitude. LOL. I'd be willing to bet that they're STILL on the site to this day - using the same old pictures they've been using for years. They probably haven't had any takers. this COMPLETELY, 1,000% encapsulates my OLD experiences (i was looking in the 35-47 range). it's not for me. at least IRL i can see what i'm getting. it might take slightly longer to score dates, but i prefer it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Yeah, when I see that "NO DRAMA" in their profiles, I laugh. The people who say that they don't want drama or that they are drama free, are usually the ones who cause the most of it IME. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Celeste.Carol Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 The people who say that they don't want drama or that they are drama free, are usually the ones who cause the most of it IME. Yes, yes, and yes x1000 or they are unable, emotionally unavailable types, to handle the fairer sex, our normal emotions. The No Dramas are Drama Kings. Link to post Share on other sites
shet Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I see NO DRAMA on many womens profiles. I havent seen the "cant change me" line but I do see an awful lot of the "If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" etc, which is the same thing. These people aren't worth bothering with... there's enough alternatives to skip them, why concern yourself over their specific malfunctions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StocksnBlondes Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I date between 38 and 56. I just recently started OLD. I have been meeting more promising suitors, asking to go to plays etc, rather than dinner, but still just waiting for the mask to drop and the big bad wolf to appear. Yes, I am skeptical. I really hope to meet someone in real time and not OLD. I've been dating about a year ...my range is approx 45-56 ...I've met some nice guys but be careful of the ones who do the love bombing ... Substance abuse like alcohol has has come up a few times ...and the emotional instability has come up a few times as well. My picker has gotten more refined and I pick up on red flags pretty quickly. Unfortunately I have heard the fortysomething dating pool is bad at relationships else why would they be single at this age... For some of us it wasn't a choice but we're thrown into it. I recently dated a guy who was adamant how "honest" he was. Said he got divorced in 2010...had 1 marriage. I can't tell you why My alarm bells were going off as he was perfect on paper ...good looking ...great job PhD nice personality. I had to go with my hunch. After 3 dates I ckd public records and he had just gotten divorced 3 months ago. I asked him about it specifically and he asked "why would you ask that?" I gave specifics then he fessed up. He said he got married last year after 2 months of knowing a girl and was embarrassed about the whole thing. He said he didn't technically lie. Uh ya ...it's lying by omission ...good bye. He also had a bad drinking problem that I picked up on after 3 dates ...he kept that one under wraps as long as he could. Link to post Share on other sites
StocksnBlondes Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Yes, yes, and yes x1000 or they are unable, emotionally unavailable types, to handle the fairer sex, our normal emotions. The No Dramas are Drama Kings. I've seen they create the drama and then wonder why someone is upset ...they don't see how insensitive they are or the aftermath of there actions. And yes our reactions are our own but seriously? I see any of that behavior and goodbye 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I do see an awful lot of the "If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" etc, which is the same thing.. I think that would completely turn me off to anyone who posted that damn nonsense. I'd be like "if you can't act like you've got sense, then just move on. Life's too short for BS". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Celeste.Carol Posted October 7, 2015 Author Share Posted October 7, 2015 Another one is when you wake up and check your profile and several men have written no less than 10 emails in a row, liked every pic and commented on them. Not sure what is up with that behavior and then the constant Ims from a man u never spoke to or maybe once. I may not be ready for dating yet. I feel such indifference to them all, regardless of good or bad traits. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 I see NO DRAMA on many womens profiles. I havent seen the "cant change me" line but I do see an awful lot of the "If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" etc, which is the same thing. These people aren't worth bothering with... there's enough alternatives to skip them, why concern yourself over their specific malfunctions. women in their late 30's & early 40's have all kinds of attitude on their profiles. major turn off. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 Another one is when you wake up and check your profile and several men have written no less than 10 emails in a row, liked every pic and commented on them. Not sure what is up with that behavior and then the constant Ims from a man u never spoke to or maybe once. I may not be ready for dating yet. I feel such indifference to them all, regardless of good or bad traits. for shame. Someone needs to teach these men how to internet date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Celeste.Carol Posted October 7, 2015 Author Share Posted October 7, 2015 for shame. Someone needs to teach these men how to internet date. It is true. I have been on close to 2 months and have been favorite'd over 500x and I just read today, this updates them to when I am online, update photos etc., and they are on it so quick. I usually spend very little time on there, but have been more lately. The funniest is the seasoned players with money between 60-65 come on like white on rice if I log in with an instant email!: ready to let me dine u yet, with no shame or care, I have had already made excuses with them 5 times and said no! Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 It is true. I have been on close to 2 months and have been favorite'd over 500x and I just read today, this updates them to when I am online, update photos etc., and they are on it so quick. I usually spend very little time on there, but have been more lately. The funniest is the seasoned players with money between 60-65 come on like white on rice if I log in with an instant email!: ready to let me dine u yet, with no shame or care, I have had already made excuses with them 5 times and said no! Why aren't you blocking them? Maybe because you still like the attention? Link to post Share on other sites
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