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Do you date down or up?


Celeste.Carol

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Celeste.Carol

This question is not so black and white because we all have our own tastes. I am asking because OLD comes along in batches and waves of new suitors depending on time you are on and off.

 

 

Lately, I am getting interests from perfect 10 men, no kidding, better looking than George Clooney (I think he is okay), six figure jobs, and everything about them is perfect.

 

 

I feel a little intimidated by them. I am very nice looking, but always go for types my friends etc., do not think are attractive or wow factors. Different taste I suppose. I like character, so I overlook flaws.

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Lately, I am getting interests from perfect 10 men, no kidding, better looking than George Clooney (I think he is okay), six figure jobs, and everything about them is perfect.

 

 

I feel a little intimidated by them. I am very nice looking, but always go for types my friends etc., do not think are attractive or wow factors. Different taste I suppose. I like character, so I overlook flaws.

 

Have you ever dated a 10? If not then why not give it a go. My last one would have gotten a 9, it was a good relationship but a little lacking in some area's. My current one is a 10, we'll see how that goes.

 

Here's a little something to remind yourself. Even incredibly attractive people still need and look for love. Why not you? Can you love someone like that? Not lust after them or use them as a status symbol, but truly love them for who they are? Did you know that the more attractive you are the harder it is to find actual love? First world problem I know but it really gets them down. Be charitable here.....:laugh:

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Celeste.Carol

I have dated attractive men, but not ones with perfect veneered teeth, perfect face, perfect head full of hair, perfect chiseled bodies, and a perfect profession. Not all these together.

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I have dated attractive men, but not ones with perfect veneered teeth, perfect face, perfect head full of hair, perfect chiseled bodies, and a perfect profession. Not all these together.

 

And beneath all of that is still a person looking for love. It helped me to move forward with my current one when I came across pictures of what he used to look like. I saw the person in that body then, the real one, and I liked it.

 

My experience is that very attractive people are still insecure like the rest of us. Something has driven that facade to become what it is and it's not usually vanity. Although urban legend tells you it is. Get curious and find out what's beneath.

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I considered all the men i had relationships/dating with 10s, and no, they weren't millionaires with "ripped" bodies. I like who i like and i dont care if he has a yacht or is a doctor or not. if he happens to, thats fine. Whatever.

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And if i find someone intimidating, then he is not for me. It's either me being silly, a gut feeling, or a character flaw in him.

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Celeste.Carol
And beneath all of that is still a person looking for love. It helped me to move forward with my current one when I came across pictures of what he used to look like. I saw the person in that body then, the real one, and I liked it.

 

My experience is that very attractive people are still insecure like the rest of us. Something has driven that facade to become what it is and it's not usually vanity. Although urban legend tells you it is. Get curious and find out what's beneath.

 

I get what you are saying now and yes I do understand that. I always get the comparison to being way sexy, one girl I met was like you should be one of the pretty Kardashians and I feel I miss out on love that way. Like you end up seeing many men date this but end up marrying someone matronly or like their mother.

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Celeste.Carol
I considered all the men i had relationships/dating with 10s, and no, they weren't millionaires with "ripped" bodies. I like who i like and i dont care if he has a yacht or is a doctor or not. if he happens to, thats fine. Whatever.

 

I understand this, 'The eye of the beholder,' and yes I do believe in that, but these men are actually 10s regardless of the eye of the beholder, looks and lifestyle. I am not sure if I am explaining it right.

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jam.over.jelly

You shouldn't be intimidated. They reached out to you, didn't they? So that means something. I have dated some gorgeous guys with great jobs and they seem to have everything together, in other words, they seem perfect, but they are human with flaws; they want love just as much as we do, so why not give them a chance and just see them for who they are inside?

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I get what you are saying now and yes I do understand that. I always get the comparison to being way sexy, one girl I met was like you should be one of the pretty Kardashians and I feel I miss out on love that way. Like you end up seeing many men date this but end up marrying someone matronly or like their mother.

 

The thing is people who get a lot of attention still don't get the kind of attention they really want. My current interest has half the world in love with him. But it's not love, it's just people being taken with what they see and creating a fantasy around it. Who really wants a glassy eyed person holding an enormous fantasy about them in their life? It's creepy and there's only one place it can end, disappointment.

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I understand this, 'The eye of the beholder,' and yes I do believe in that, but these men are actually 10s regardless of the eye of the beholder, looks and lifestyle. I am not sure if I am explaining it right.

 

No, we just have different outlooks on it. ok you could classify one of my exes as "an actual 10" according to what you mentioned in your OP. He never intimidated me because i view everyone as equal, i never questioned whether I was worthy of him.

 

And no one is perfect!! You'll realise a few dates in i am sure

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Celeste.Carol
No, we just have different outlooks on it. ok you could classify one of my exes as "an actual 10" according to what you mentioned in your OP. He never intimidated me because i view everyone as equal, i never questioned whether I was worthy of him.

 

And no one is perfect!! You'll realise a few dates in i am sure

 

 

 

Exactly no one is perfect, so my being 'a little' intimidated could be viewed in the same light.

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The most beautiful woman I know is just a friend because she is a party girl and a little bit of an attention whore that gets herself in situations with aggressive dbags that requires I or another guy to step in.

 

I just can't see myself ever dating her and honestly do not have a strong desire to sleep with her.

 

But, even a woman slightly above average attractiveness with her crap together pops my rod.

Looks sent everything.

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Celeste.Carol
The most beautiful woman I know is just a friend because she is a party girl and a little bit of an attention whore that gets herself in situations with aggressive dbags that requires I or another guy to step in.

 

I just can't see myself ever dating her and honestly do not have a strong desire to sleep with her.

 

But, even a woman slightly above average attractiveness with her crap together pops my rod.

Looks sent everything.

 

Interesting if I may ask you as a guy, who do you see yourself eventually settling down with and have as the mother of your children. Would it be a sexy type like Sophia Vergara who is higher maintenance or a more school mom type. It seems some men skip the former even if they are kind and together. They seem to think that they cannot be the PTA mom.

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Interesting if I may ask you as a guy, who do you see yourself eventually settling down with and have as the mother of your children. Would it be a sexy type like Sophia Vergara who is higher maintenance or a more school mom type. It seems some men skip the former even if they are kind and together. They seem to think that they cannot be the PTA mom.

 

Well I'm 43 and divorced.

The woman I married had an average face but a tight lean sexy body and a freak in the sack.

 

She just wasn't faithful.

 

At this point I just want a woman who isn't 30 lbs overweight, has a job and is fun both in and out of the bedroom.

 

But I keep meeting women my age that are fun in bed and attractive but have no job or can barely support themselves or women that have great jobs but just suck in bed and not willing to try and get better.

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Eternal Sunshine

It would be nearly impossible for me to date up :lmao:

 

Last 2 guys I dated were better looking than me but were less successful and less intelligent (than me ;) ). Unfortunately, I found it hard to respect them and couldn't fall in love.

 

I just want a brilliant, funny, average looking guy.... Sigh.

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When I was younger, I only dated up. Or, what I considered to be 'up'. But over time i've realized that the men with the best qualities tend to be the ones most overlooked by women. So now, regardless of looks, I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I'm drawn towards the good ones now, whether that means i'm dating 'up' or 'down'.

 

I do know what you mean about being intimidated though. When I was younger and dated up I would always feel insecure about myself. Which never helped the relationship. Lots of lessons learned, that's for sure!

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Celeste.Carol

I am not sure Erica what I meant by that. I usually do not date perfect looking and am used to meeting their buddies and they are like wow how did you pull that buddy. So, I guess it would be a different scenario. I am not sure if I am explaining it right.

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I am not sure Erica what I meant by that. I usually do not date perfect looking and am used to meeting their buddies and they are like wow how did you pull that buddy. So, I guess it would be a different scenario. I am not sure if I am explaining it right.

 

So, you normally date down? I'm having a dumb moment :laugh:

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Celeste.Carol
So, you normally date down? I'm having a dumb moment :laugh:

 

I started the thread with that question but my perception changed reading some of the posts. I didn't believe I was dating down, they were great for me. I just never dated perfect looking men, perfect everything, although there may be quite a few problems and flaws. Who knows? :rolleyes: I am now myself confused.

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I just want a brilliant, funny, average looking guy.... Sigh.

 

Me too.

 

I like those qualities in a guy and I find someone average, i.e. with flaws, more appealing as he is more interesting that way.

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I started the thread with that question but my perception changed reading some of the posts. I didn't believe I was dating down, they were great for me. I just never dated perfect looking men, perfect everything, although there may be quite a few problems and flaws. Who knows? :rolleyes: I am now myself confused.

 

They're still just men. And they have their preferences and know what turns them on. Do you really want to challenge their preferences by telling them you aren't it? :o Do you want to wonder, what if?

 

I made a very similar post recently and someone here gave me great advice. In a nutshell it was this......are you out of your freaking mind, what's to lose? . Yes, yes conventional wisdom says that everyone with good genes has a bad personality. Just because it's convention, doesn't mean it's wise. Go on a date and check the situation out, it's not The Bachelor, you don't have to marry him based on his profile.

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At this point I don't care. I just want to actually meet up with someone in person because I get blocked for no reason at all....

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I started the thread with that question but my perception changed reading some of the posts. I didn't believe I was dating down, they were great for me. I just never dated perfect looking men, perfect everything, although there may be quite a few problems and flaws. Who knows? :rolleyes: I am now myself confused.

 

Have you met this guy in person and how much do you know him?

He may not be what he appears online.

I once met a perfect guy and turned out he wanted to do some weird internet sexual stuff, like he asked me to open up an amazon account and he can send me money buy me gifts or something.

well sometimes, if it seems too good to be true, it is

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  • 2 weeks later...
You shouldn't be intimidated. They reached out to you, didn't they? So that means something. I have dated some gorgeous guys with great jobs and they seem to have everything together, in other words, they seem perfect, but they are human with flaws; they want love just as much as we do, so why not give them a chance and just see them for who they are inside?

 

Agree. Plus think of it this way - even the best looking dude loses his looks a bit as he ages. I used to be much better looking but I got older :)

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