Picking the Right Woman

[kayak2133]

I would like some feedback on picking the right woman between two women.

 

Woman one has said yes to going out with me three times. One of the times we agreed to a date and time and the day of the date, she said she was running behind schedule and wouldn't be able to make it. She agreed to another time but we didn't set when. The third time she has agreed to get coffee with me but she said she was busy this weekend with volunteering and a prayer service. She told me her whole schedule, so she is being truthful. She has always been honest.

 

Woman two is friends with woman one and they go to the same church. She invited me to sit with her and her dad during church Sunday. We went out briefly in the past and woman one set us up.

 

Does it sound like woman one has a genuine interest in getting together? She texted me after 9 tonight asking me a question about something I posted on my Facebook page, so I know she is monitoring me some.

 

Is it ok to sit with woman two (and assume it was a friendly invitation - I can bring a male friend with me)? Would there be female jealousy?

 

What is the best thing to do?

[CalvinM]

Woman one only sees you as a friend. Otherwise she wouldn't have you up with woman two. It's pointless going for woman one. You probably didn't kiss her on the date and now you're friendzoned.

 

If you like woman two, go for it, but be more assertive.

 

Edit: I reread it. You haven't been out with woman one yet, she definitely only sees you as a friend, which is probably why she's rescheduled twice and eventually set you up with her friend.

Edited October 3, 2015 by CalvinM

[road]

I would like some feedback on picking the right woman between two women.

 

Woman one has said yes to going out with me three times. One of the times we agreed to a date and time and the day of the date, she said she was running behind schedule and wouldn't be able to make it. She agreed to another time but we didn't set when. The third time she has agreed to get coffee with me but she said she was busy this weekend with volunteering and a prayer service. She told me her whole schedule, so she is being truthful. She has always been honest.

 

Woman two is friends with woman one and they go to the same church. She invited me to sit with her and her dad during church Sunday. We went out briefly in the past and woman one set us up.

 

Does it sound like woman one has a genuine interest in getting together? She texted me after 9 tonight asking me a question about something I posted on my Facebook page, so I know she is monitoring me some.

 

Is it ok to sit with woman two (and assume it was a friendly invitation - I can bring a male friend with me)? Would there be female jealousy?

 

What is the best thing to do?

 

 

Makes no sense to me.

[EricaH329]

Is there a reason you believe woman one is even an option? You mentioned that she agreed to go on a date with you, did she understand it was a date? Regardless, it hasn't happened yet, and instead of going out with you she tried to set you up with woman two.

 

To me, the answer seems fairly obvious. Although, sitting together at church hardly constitutes a date.

 

I'd just see how things naturally play out.

[mystikmind2005]

It might be worth consideration that if your asking yourself this type of question then it probably means your not all that much into woman 2 i think, but your more into woman 1

[JasmineJones]

I would like some feedback on picking the right woman between two women.

 

Woman one has said yes to going out with me three times. One of the times we agreed to a date and time and the day of the date, she said she was running behind schedule and wouldn't be able to make it. She agreed to another time but we didn't set when. The third time she has agreed to get coffee with me but she said she was busy this weekend with volunteering and a prayer service. She told me her whole schedule, so she is being truthful. She has always been honest.

 

Woman two is friends with woman one and they go to the same church. She invited me to sit with her and her dad during church Sunday. We went out briefly in the past and woman one set us up.

 

Does it sound like woman one has a genuine interest in getting together? She texted me after 9 tonight asking me a question about something I posted on my Facebook page, so I know she is monitoring me some.

 

Is it ok to sit with woman two (and assume it was a friendly invitation - I can bring a male friend with me)? Would there be female jealousy?

 

What is the best thing to do?

 

No, it sounds like she has no interest at all.

[Ami1uwant]

Woman one only sees you as a friend. Otherwise she wouldn't have you up with woman two. It's pointless going for woman one. You probably didn't kiss her on the date and now you're friendzoned.

 

If you like woman two, go for it, but be more assertive.

 

Edit: I reread it. You haven't been out with woman one yet, she definitely only sees you as a friend, which is probably why she's rescheduled twice and eventually set you up with her friend.

 

Hard to say..not enough I go given.

 

Sure she could look at him as just a friend but stay the time of them meeting dhe could gave been in a relationship earn dhe set up eom sn 2. Now roman 1 is available yo date.

[Gaeta]

So interesting....

 

Woman 1 has cancelled on you 3 times but you talk about her with respect and qualify her of honest.

 

Women 2 has actually made a concrete action (unlike woman 1) to show you her interest by inviting you to sit with her (and father) at Church + initiating contact with you. You don't give her any compliments in your description so I conclude you are not so much interested in her.

 

Conclusion: You want to the one that's hard to get.

 

My answer to your question? Neither. Woman 1 is not interested in you and deep down you are not interested in woman 2.

[Siquijor]

Woman 1 cancels a date three times and sets you up with woman 2?

 

 

Not exactly rocket science is it?

[kayak2133]

Let me update you on things and clarify some things about woman two.

 

Woman one is Hispanic - we talked last night after she texted me after 9 about something on my Facebook page. (She had asked about me to another woman that I know, so I thought there might have been some interest). I told her last night that my intent was to see if there was anything beyond friendship. Following the conversation, she had a post on Facebook that showed a Hispanic woman with a negative look on her face and the text reads when a white boy tells me that he likes Hispanics. Obviously, I don't think that she likes me and have no plans of asking her out again.

 

I met woman two over a year ago when woman one set is up (woman one was dating someone at the time). I genuinely liked woman one - ALOT. We kissed twice but we briefly dated. I tried to go back out with her again but she said no at least twice. I dated a woman for nine months in between. Woman two dated someone also. She started clicking like on a lot of my Facebook posts and making posts on my page. She has invited other people to church on her Facebook page. She invited me to sit with her and her dad at church after I messaged her telling her that I was thinking about switching to her church. The reason that I haven't taken it seriously is that she turned me down several times in the past and I viewed it as a friendly gesture, but wondered if she wants more.

 

Hopefully, that clears things up. With that said, what are your thoughts?

 

It's kind of ironic, but as I was typing this woman two said yes she would like me and a friend of mine to sit with her. My point in bringing a friend is the friend also likes the church and you want to seem sincere about your beliefs, which I am!

Edited October 3, 2015 by kayak2133

[LilaMarie]

http://cdn.scooppick.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Rakhi-Sawant1.jpg

[futureglory263]

While it may be nice to be interested in two separate women, it is best to be cautious because things can get complicated real quick, especially if these two women are going to the same church. Assuming both are interested in you as more than a friend, you will inevitably have to choose one over the other, whereby you will be hurting someone's feelings. Furthermore, you may have the fear that you picked the "wrong" woman and may be tempted to waver back and forth.

But because it appears like you know both of them, I'm sure in your mind you may already have a preference of one person over another. And that's okay.

 

There are a few things though that might benefit from some clarification. If Woman #1 set you up with Woman #2, is she really interested in you? That is, did you specifically mention the word "date" with her, or did you ask her a vague question that could be taken as a "hey let's hang out" sort of deal like "do you want to get coffee with me after church?" She may otherwise see it as a friendly gesture, and nothing more, especially if she is setting you up with her friend (woman #2).

 

You mention you "went out briefly" with Woman #2 in the past. How did this date go? What are your intentions with woman #2? If she had asked you to sit with her and her dad, it probably indicates that she's at least somewhat interested in you.. and I mean more than friends. I mean, unless she has her guy friends at church sit with her and her dad every week? But even if it truly is a "friendly invitation" as you say, there is still the chance that woman #1 (assuming she is interested in you) will feel resentment and jealousy, and it would be unwise to sit with her and her dad. Of course there's the jealousy issue, but there is also people who will see you and assume things, and yes, while their thoughts towards you may or may not be true, it can go around and affect your reputation, especially if you also attend that church and they see you're also involved with/pursuing woman #1

 

Since you asked, the best thing to do would be to focus on one woman at a time. Relate to each as sisters, focusing on building a relationship rooted in friendship. If you already know in your heart that you're interested in one over the other then prayerfully pursue.

Edited October 3, 2015 by futureglory263

[kayak2133]

@futureglory263, thanks for your feedback. I sat with woman two today and she and her dad were nice to me. She invited me back to the church on Wednesday nights and said I could sit with her and her dad any Sunday morning. My mentor told me to not ask her out while I am getting used to the new church so it doesn't look like she's the only reason I am going to the church, but said it would be OK to ask her and her dad if they want to go to lunch after church. What are your thoughts?

[TheGuard13]

What's "female jealousy"?

 

Is it like regular jealousy?

[angel.eyes]

Look for woman#3.

 

Woman #2 seems to be recruiting you to be a member of her church. Nothing about her current behavior suggests interest in dating you.

[kayak2133]

Laughing about the jealousy statement. Woman number three makes sense.

[PogoStick]

Look for woman#3.

 

Woman #2 seems to be recruiting you to be a member of her church. Nothing about her current behavior suggests interest in dating you.

 

Agreed. And how old are you and girl 2?

 

Also, consider giving up church completely as you chase girl 3.

[kayak2133]

I did have this additional question. She told me I can sit with her and her dad anytime on Sundays. Is that just a friendly gesture or more?

 

I am 32 and she is 36.

[PogoStick]

I did have this additional question. She told me I can sit with her and her dad anytime on Sundays. Is that just a friendly gesture or more?

 

I am 32 and she is 36.

 

I'm speechless!

[kayak2133]

@pogostick, so you agree with previous statement that she is recruiting me to be a member of her church and has no interest in dating me?

 

Are you speechless about that or the age?

 

I'm not baffled by anything you are saying, I am just enjoying the conversation.

[casey.lives]

don't worry about picking the right woman. worry about being the right man. The mark of a man is when, he does what you must, and not what he wants to.

Your boundaries seem weak and the indecisiveness is concerning and your inability to solve your own problem.. doesn't sound like YOU are ready.

 

when you become a man, life becomes easier.. im sure of it.

Edited October 6, 2015 by casey.lives

[kayak2133]

@casey.lives I think you have made some good points here and it reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend where I basically told him the same thing. I should follow the advice you are giving, which is the same as I gave him.

[central]

The standard answer to the question of which woman to pick is: the one with the bigger boobs.

 

In your case, I'd look for woman #3. These two don't seem like good matches in many ways, and I think someone suggested that you look to yourself and be the kind of person you want to attract. That's good advice.

[Redhead14]

I would like some feedback on picking the right woman between two women.

 

Woman one has said yes to going out with me three times. One of the times we agreed to a date and time and the day of the date, she said she was running behind schedule and wouldn't be able to make it. She agreed to another time but we didn't set when. The third time she has agreed to get coffee with me but she said she was busy this weekend with volunteering and a prayer service. She told me her whole schedule, so she is being truthful. She has always been honest.

 

Woman two is friends with woman one and they go to the same church. She invited me to sit with her and her dad during church Sunday. We went out briefly in the past and woman one set us up.

 

Does it sound like woman one has a genuine interest in getting together? She texted me after 9 tonight asking me a question about something I posted on my Facebook page, so I know she is monitoring me some.

 

Is it ok to sit with woman two (and assume it was a friendly invitation - I can bring a male friend with me)? Would there be female jealousy?

 

What is the best thing to do?

 

Who cares? You are not obligated to either one of them. If one of them gets jealous, she's immature and has expectations of you that she has no right to have.