dg5652 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I have been talking with a woman off and on since march. We started out strong then she pulled away. Which I found out afterwards she was sleeping with someone else. So we didn't talk for a few months. Several months later after talking and texting a few days she calls me up and wants to spend a day together "just as friends." We go out to eat do a little window shopping and then go back to my place. She is suddenly all over me. We kiss and explore one another bodies, yet in the back of my mind im thinking somethings not right. So we don't go all the way for lack of a better term.I fibbed to her that I couldn't "perform" the first couple times until i was truly comfortable so she would not realize I was feeling awkward about it . A few hours later her mom texts her asking where she is and when she responds never answers back. So she says she's going home to check on things and should be back for the night shortly. We kiss when she leaves and both agree we had a great time and that she would take me with her , but if her son is home she wants him to have a heads up that she is dating again before he meets me. She said her and her mother talked and were afraid he would flip out. She leaves and texts me when she gets home. She says everything is fine but her son is back from spending time with his dad so she's staying there. We make plans to meet up again the next day to spend more time together and both head to bed. The next morning an hour before we are supposed to get together she texts. She says she wont be able to make it. I ask why and she gives a legitimate answer, yet when I ask when we can see each other again, and that I meant all I said the night prior , she responds by saying she knows I did and not to push and let her sort things out. She then proceeds to change the conversation. Then does not talk to me the rest of the day. The friend that introduced us happens to come by and see my roommate. She asks me about the woman and tells me to be careful and not put my heart in it because less than two weeks prior she was talking to a co workers father. So after I get off work I text her and wish her a good night at work , being as she works third shift. She replied with that she was just pulling in and I just replied K because I know she's really busy when she first clocks in. Its been hours since and still nothing back. I feel like I was played AGAIN and used for sex. I don't understand how you can tell someone you love them one night and want them, and want to spend time with them. While the next morning say don't push. Another friend who knows the situation and saw her instigate says that it seems like she clicks with me and that it scares her and she does not know how to react. I just don't know. My head is saying no ,but my heart is saying yes. I don't want to be made a fool of but I fall so easily for her. Theres so much more that has happened but I don't wanna write a book. She just seems to be either really into it when around me and when away doesn't know what she wants, as well as dodges questions and things. Link to post Share on other sites
JasmineJones Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 What do you mean by 'talking to'? Does this mean you have been dating her? Or merely talking to her on the internet or on the phone? Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I don't understand how you can tell someone you love them one night and want them, and want to spend time with them. While the next morning say don't push. She just wanted to get laid and apparently, she'll say whatever she needs to say to accomplish her goal. She didn't use you for sex--you said you didn't have any. You pulled away when the feeling that something wasn't right became overwhelming. Another friend who knows the situation and saw her instigate says that it seems like she clicks with me and that it scares her and she does not know how to react. I just don't know. My head is saying no ,but my heart is saying yes. I don't want to be made a fool of but I fall so easily for her. Theres so much more that has happened but I don't wanna write a book. She just seems to be either really into it when around me and when away doesn't know what she wants, as well as dodges questions and things. She's doubleminded. "A doubleminded (wo)man is unstable in all h(is)er ways". She wants a richard when she needs one and when she doesn't, she wants richard to go away and leave her alone. I got that much out of what you've written. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dg5652 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 What do you mean by 'talking to'? Does this mean you have been dating her? Or merely talking to her on the internet or on the phone? phyically being with her. Dating Link to post Share on other sites
JasmineJones Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 phyically being with her. Dating Thanks for clarifying. Have you already had sex with her in the past? Link to post Share on other sites
Author dg5652 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 She just wanted to get laid and apparently, she'll say whatever she needs to say to accomplish her goal. She didn't use you for sex--you said you didn't have any. You pulled away when the feeling that something wasn't right became overwhelming. We did everything but penetration to be totally honest so we did in a form have sexual relation, like I said I left out some things because I didnt want to write a book. In hindsight however I should have added a few more things. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Is she still with the dude she was with back before you two got reacquainted? From what you've written, you aren't the only guy on her radar. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dg5652 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 Thanks for clarifying. Have you already had sex with her in the past? no because she instigated then pulled away . up until the night stated it was only kissing and fondling, but I have a bad habit of finding women that use me for a rebound for some reason thus the used again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dg5652 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 Is she still with the dude she was with back before you two got reacquainted? From what you've written, you aren't the only guy on her radar. no because he bluntly told her that she was too skinny for him that he liked bigger women and she was basically a booty call Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Another friend who knows the situation and saw her instigate says that it seems like she clicks with me and that it scares her and she does not know how to react. I don't think that's it at all. I think that she's got a couple of men she's talking to and that's why she's acting all weird when she's not in your presence. Nothing wrong with her doing that as long as she's up front with you that she's talking to your friend's co-worker's father and anyone else--that would be fair of her to let you know this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dg5652 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 I don't think that's it at all. I think that she's got a couple of men she's talking to and that's why she's acting all weird when she's not in your presence. Nothing wrong with her doing that as long as she's up front with you that she's talking to your friend's co-worker's father and anyone else--that would be fair of her to let you know this. shes being far from up front about it. That friend is the only reason I know Link to post Share on other sites
Author dg5652 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 I don't think that's it at all. I think that she's got a couple of men she's talking to and that's why she's acting all weird when she's not in your presence. Nothing wrong with her doing that as long as she's up front with you that she's talking to your friend's co-worker's father and anyone else--that would be fair of her to let you know this. she was worried about that friend finding out we had went out that day because she had told her we werent talking. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 women are only confused in relationships when they have someone else on the side whose attention they do not want to give up. Instead of owning their effery and saying "I don't want to choose and I'm not going to choose", they say "I'm confused". Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 We did everything but penetration to be totally honest so we did in a form have sexual relation, like I said I left out some things because I didnt want to write a book. In hindsight however I should have added a few more things. Maybe she's turned off having to work this hard for sex. She's probably back to screwing the other guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 she was worried about that friend finding out we had went out that day because she had told her we werent talking. so why all the skullduggery, creeping in the shadows and all of that? So what if that friend found out you two were hanging out? Is that friend her lover or something? Is she paying her rent? I"m not getting the connection to you and this chick hanging out and the mutual friend knowing you two hung out. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 She's probably back to screwing the other guy. fits the "confused" paradigm Link to post Share on other sites
Author dg5652 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 women are only confused in relationships when they have someone else on the side whose attention they do not want to give up. Instead of owning their effery and saying "I don't want to choose and I'm not going to choose", they say "I'm confused". thats what I assumed but getting her to admit it is something else entirely. Like last night she said she was busy at work so I asked her to text when she could. I never heard anything the rest of the night but she reactivated her fb and was posting things on it like "Dont expect her to play her part if you have several auditioning for her spot" Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 thats what I assumed but getting her to admit it is something else entirely. Like last night she said she was busy at work so I asked her to text when she could. I never heard anything the rest of the night but she reactivated her fb and was posting things on it like "Dont expect her to play her part if you have several auditioning for her spot" I call that "projection", considering what you know that she doesn't know that you know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dg5652 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 so why all the skullduggery, creeping in the shadows and all of that? So what if that friend found out you two were hanging out? Is that friend her lover or something? Is she paying her rent? I"m not getting the connection to you and this chick hanging out and the mutual friend knowing you two hung out. the friend I mentioned knows her very well , no she is not her lover or anything, she is looking out for me and the woman in question knows it and doesnt want things awkward at work. plus im guessing if she knows that the woman in question is talking with me she wouldnt be able to talk with other guys at work without my friend knowing. Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I don't understand how you can tell someone you love them one night and want them, and want to spend time with them. While the next morning say don't push. Did anyone else catch this? OP - Did she really say she loves you? Regardless, if she's telling you not to push it, don't push it. If you want more than she can give, i'd say don't wait around. Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I call that "projection", considering what you know that she doesn't know that you know. I disagree. If the FB message was intended for OP, it would be "projection". It wasn't. It was meant to be seen by the guy she's really interested in...the one that's made her sooooooo "confused". He's doing to her what she's doing to OP. Unless you want to be 'sloppy seconds' or she really IS the last woman on the planet, best to let this one go, OP... Best of luck to you, OP... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 thats what I assumed but getting her to admit it is something else entirely. Like last night she said she was busy at work so I asked her to text when she could. I never heard anything the rest of the night but she reactivated her fb and was posting things on it like "Dont expect her to play her part if you have several auditioning for her spot" OMG, she was talking about the other guy. Next this chick. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dg5652 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 Did anyone else catch this? OP - Did she really say she loves you? Regardless, if she's telling you not to push it, don't push it. If you want more than she can give, i'd say don't wait around. yes she told me that a few times that night before during and after being intimate Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Did anyone else catch this? OP - Did she really say she loves you? Regardless, if she's telling you not to push it, don't push it. If you want more than she can give, i'd say don't wait around. Honestly, I think the woman only told him she loved him so she would get laid and it still didn't work. That's why she doesn't want to be bothered anymore and is back to chasing the other guy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Honestly, I think the woman only told him she loved him so she would get laid and it still didn't work. That's why she doesn't want to be bothered anymore and is back to chasing the other guy. My thoughts exactly. People saying things just to get into another persons pants, is a tale as old as time. I'm sorry this happened to you, OP. Hopefully this will be a learning experience. Link to post Share on other sites
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