Guyouthere Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I posted another thread for the ladies on this same topic, but this one is for guys…. How would you feel if you were compared to her ex in bed the first time you did it with her? What if she told you that you lacked, didn't know how to do things, and outright verbally compared you to her ex she wasn't over? Would you permanently scarred from that with her, or if she showed interest, would you evener get over her telling you that? Link to post Share on other sites
scooby-philly Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 That's a rough situation. The sarcastic, angry side of me would do as the previous poster said and compare her to others I've had. That said, if there was mutual interest there I'd be polite and say "when you did that...it made me feel x". She may not know how bad that is to do. And, she may not have done it out of a bad reason. However, I wouldn't just let it slide and I wouldn't engage in negative responses. Just state the truth about it not being nice, about how it made you feel, and find out why she did it. If it happens again, or if she doesn't teach you "what she wants" in the sack, move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I posted another thread for the ladies on this same topic, but this one is for guys….? What should you have done? Got up and walked away! Do exactly what I said and learn as much as you can from some decent books. As a woman I would dismount and leave (or kick him out if we were at mine). I know you have had the kick in the balls but now your just going on about it by making multiple threads. Instead of taking it to heart, take it to your brain and learn all you can. Accept that this girl is probably bit of a bitch and unless you want to date nasty women leave her be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaInTheBrine Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I posted another thread for the ladies on this same topic, but this one is for guys…. How would you feel if you were compared to her ex in bed the first time you did it with her? What if she told you that you lacked, didn't know how to do things, and outright verbally compared you to her ex she wasn't over? Would you permanently scarred from that with her, or if she showed interest, would you evener get over her telling you that? It's one thing to talk about what was good and what could be better. But if the conversation was that tactless, insulting, and telling me about sex with her ex? I would dump the bitch. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Here's one theory. She's obviously not over her ex. So right now she wants meaningless rebound sex and she blasted you after to discourage you from getting attached. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I can't imagine anyone not being scarred by this in some way. I agree with fitnessfan, she's clearly not over her ex and is acting out inappropriately as a result. I will repeat the same thing I said in your other thread on this subject and that is YOU may need to be more discerning about who you're dating and especially who you're sleeping with. There must have been signs this woman came with some serious baggage. No decent woman with an ounce of class would behave this way no matter how horrible you were in bed. Take it with a grain of salt but at the same time it wouldn't hurt you to think about brushing up on your bedroom skills in whatever ways are possible. Eagerness to please and learn is an attractive quality. Don't let this shut you down. Don't give her the satisfaction. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I would compare her to my ex in return specifically making comments about her body. Ah yes, vengeance is a great way to approach relationship hurts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Guyouthere Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 Maybe it is just me, but our first time like that, with complaints, is very hurtful and would and does remain in my head, regardless of meaning, intentions. And the fact that someone knows it hurt me, and didn't apologize for that, only saying what I can "do better", bothers me even more. Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 You haven't really articulated what exactly she said, how, or when. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Guyouthere Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 You haven't really articulated what exactly she said, how, or when. We attempted to have sex, and got pretty far, actually went into her. She looked at me like in a daze, I asked her what was in her head, she said her ex. I lost interest right away, spoiled the moment. We talked for a bit afterwards, she said she had a "mental block" and that she saw his face, compared me to him, then said how "different" it was with him. You can imagine how I felt, I had gone 4000 miles for that. So we spent more time together, attempted again, said she realized I wasn't "good" as he was, but she said I had potential, and we began again, and got further, but still not what it should have been. She did try to guide me, and there were positive results. I held her all night and she really like that, and so did i. Overall I felt little or no concern about my feelings, just a "put down", even though I do realize I could have done better? After all, we didn't really have a lot of time to even get to know each other that way. She said she had no "feeling" either, that she was also attracted to women, which I knew beforehand. So I am trying to figure it all out. It is a mess. Was it me, her ex, her lack of experience having that normal psychological connection when having sex (I know her ex even burned her with cigs while smoking during sex). Was it the bisexuality? Her past abuse? Inability to be close to someone in a healthy way? It got me really mixed up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Guyouthere Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 Lol. You traveled 4,000 miles for a woman to emasculate you. You have to be a man and stand up for yourself. A quick retort about how she has gotten pudgy in certain areas and how she doesn't smell fresh "down there" followed by you leaving would have completely obliterated her crass behavior. It's obvious this woman doesn't respect you so you really shouldn't give a $h!!t about her. I was very patient with her knowing her life and all we went through together. It was about caring and loving the person. I let it slide for that reason, thinking one day she would come to her senses and be what I thought she could be. That is the reasoning I have. Link to post Share on other sites
Nemetona Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 OP, please get rid. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Guyouthere Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 OP, please get rid. Calling the exterminator today. hehehehe Link to post Share on other sites
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