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Ladies, would you tell a guy he isn't good in bed?


Guyouthere

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Ladies answer it please. I never had anyone say that to me, except this last one.

 

Whats that say if they tell you they think you aren't that good (and admit comparing you without you even asking).

 

Lets get this one going….

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Michelle ma Belle

Ouch! Can you give us some context?

 

Was she a one night stand or someone you're dating?

 

I don't think I would be the kind of person to come out and tell anyone they're bad at anything especially sex. If I liked the guy enough but felt he could use a bit of finesse in the bedroom I'd be more inclined to show him what I want and need rather than insult him. If things did not improve I'd just end things based on incompatibility. I just don't see the point in being cruel about it.

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Ouch! Can you give us some context?

 

Was she a one night stand or someone you're dating?

 

I don't think I would be the kind of person to come out and tell anyone they're bad at anything especially sex. If I liked the guy enough but felt he could use a bit of finesse in the bedroom I'd be more inclined to show him what I want and need rather than insult him. If things did not improve I'd just end things based on incompatibility. I just don't see the point in being cruel about it.

 

We knew each other for 6 months, was our first encounter.

 

She later tried to "show me" what she liked, but the wound was there, I just didn't feel right about it. Perhaps I needed more time to "get my mood back again".

 

I don't do one night stands. I have too much respect for most women and don't treat them like that.

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Hmm never had/wanted to tell that to a guy. Then again - apart from the really obvious inexperience and/or inability to learn and pick up cues - good sexual experience rests heavily on the presence of chemistry between the two partners.

To answer the question - would I tell someone they are bad in bed? Probably not - just because I don't appreciate their moves, doesn't mean no one will. I would not stay in a situation lacking in the sex department though.

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I know you wanted girl's opinions but if this was the first time you experienced this....out of say 50 times! Then just a bad situation...move on. You made it sound like you have been with tons of women but I don't see much confidence in you

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Haven't been with tons of women.

 

Im specifically trying to learn something from this last one I was with in bed.

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I get it. you are a narcissist. You don't really care about her but the fact that she rejected you in bed when the other 3 women didnt.

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I get it. you are a narcissist. You don't really care about her but the fact that she rejected you in bed when the other 3 women didnt.

 

I took the test and can say for sure, also knowing myself, I am no narc. :)

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no i wouldnt....its damaging and not a way to fix a guys performance...you have to show him what you like and how to do it.,...then its a guy in your relationship together who knows exactly what to do...every woman is different and likes different things...its a womans right in a relationship to know what she likes and be able to show the guy how to please her......and vice versa....the dynamics of a sexual relationship is up to the two involved...and a willingness to explore together what each other likes...saying to a guy you are bad in bed..helps exactly nothing or no one......deb

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..saying to a guy you are bad in bed..helps exactly nothing or no one......deb

 

If you had one experience with him and see no further experiences with him, then you wouldn't throw that out there?

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If you had one experience with him and see no further experiences with him, then you wouldn't throw that out there?

 

She saw additional experiences.

 

She had her own issues that kept her from being intimate. That was part of the problem too.

 

We tried it again, but it just wasn't a go, many because the damage was done.

 

I felt it wasn't right for her to say that, not on the first try.

 

Basically she told me she was comparing me to her ex who she was not over yet,

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it was an insensitive comment made when you were at your most vulnerable. so much easier and sexier to discuss what you like to each other most first times are awkward you learn what each other like

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No. That's such a tacky and mean thing to do. If he asked, I'd tell him that it was great and the next time, steer him towards what works for me.

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No. That's such a tacky and mean thing to do. If he asked, I'd tell him that it was great and the next time, steer him towards what works for me.

 

Goes to show her personality aye?

 

No wonder I got fed up and finally told her all I felt.

 

She has a lot of changing to do alright.

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She saw additional experiences.

 

She had her own issues that kept her from being intimate. That was part of the problem too.

 

We tried it again, but it just wasn't a go, many because the damage was done.

 

I felt it wasn't right for her to say that, not on the first try.

 

Basically she told me she was comparing me to her ex who she was not over yet,

 

Ok I apologize. i see where you are coming from now. That is unfair. She may have that only person to use as comparison. So definitely don't take it to heart

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If he was a decent guy, the most I would say is "I don't think we're compatible sexually."

 

If he was a horrible jerk, I might put it more bluntly.

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If you had one experience with him and see no further experiences with him, then you wouldn't throw that out there?

 

no i dont see the necessity to say it....and i am not into one night stands.....if i were to sleep with a guy it would be with a permanent relationship in mind...in fact...i am celibate till marriage so if the guy sucks first time...i have no choice but to teach him how to not suck...and i wouldnt say hey you suck but in the wrong places...i would just show him what i know i like...then all is gravy.....i would hope that eh could teach me what he likes...half the fun however is finding out what each other likes...can provide some humorous tries........deb

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Yes, I have. We'd been on a few dates and when we had sex, and it was horrible, just absolutely horrible and like something you'd expect to see on a sitcom or slapstick comedy. He sincerely thought it was the best sex ever and that he'd left me completely satisfied, yet I had given him no reason to think that. There was no way it was going to get better and I had no desire to teach him given that he was mid-30s and had enough experience under his belt to know better. So, I had to end the relationship, and when he asked why, I had to tell him that we were fundamentally sexually incompatible. When he pressed for why I felt that way, I trickled the truth, finally pressed to explain in graphic detail.

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Yes, I have. We'd been on a few dates and when we had sex, and it was horrible, just absolutely horrible and like something you'd expect to see on a sitcom or slapstick comedy. He sincerely thought it was the best sex ever and that he'd left me completely satisfied, yet I had given him no reason to think that. There was no way it was going to get better and I had no desire to teach him given that he was mid-30s and had enough experience under his belt to know better. So, I had to end the relationship, and when he asked why, I had to tell him that we were fundamentally sexually incompatible. When he pressed for why I felt that way, I trickled the truth, finally pressed to explain in graphic detail.

 

I have to say, this says more about you.

 

Evidently, there was no bond formed even before you had sex.

 

BECAUSE, had you cared, you would have shown and taken the time. Age doesn't matter.

 

I haven't been with a a lot of women, so don't have a lot of experience with what different ones like.

 

It doesn't mean I don't want to learn and please the woman.

 

You seem pretty cold yourself. I have to say. Uncaring is the word. That alone is a big turnoff for a guy.

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Nope. I wouldn't tell him. I'd simply never see him again.

 

Remember? I'm one of 'Those Women' who has sex early on, before getting emotionally involved with a guy, because compatibility in the sexual arena IS just that important to me.

 

 

I've never had a [repeat] dud in bed, yet. ;)

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I have to say, this says more about you.

 

Evidently, there was no bond formed even before you had sex.

 

BECAUSE, had you cared, you would have shown and taken the time. Age doesn't matter.

 

I haven't been with a a lot of women, so don't have a lot of experience with what different ones like.

 

It doesn't mean I don't want to learn and please the woman.

 

You seem pretty cold yourself. I have to say. Uncaring is the word. That alone is a big turnoff for a guy.

 

I don't need a "bond" such that I'd feel compelled to be a man's sex coach if he's bad in bed prior to sleeping with him, sorry. I am not going to show and take the time to teach a grown man with plenty of experience with women how to not be a selfish, jackrabbit lover. If we're incompatible, we're incompatible. That type of compatibility needs to either exist, or it doesn't. It's not something I'm willing to waste time trying to cultivate, and here it was obvious it wouldn't be developed and after that experience I had no desire to. It was gross and a complete turn-off.

 

And I'm the farthest thing from cold; even that guy would agree, he thanked me for my honesty, as he had no idea what he'd been doing wrong.

 

I told him. Every other woman just never saw/talked to him again.

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Maybe I am missing something here...

What did she say that actually hurt you? That you were not good or the words she chose?

 

My approach is I want to please the woman. Each one has some differences. Each one limes things slightly different.

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