ThisisIt606 Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 I've been dating this guy for almost 4 months now. We had a talk last month and are exclusive. My bday is next month and I decided I want to go to a farm (lots of activities- corn maze, animals races,etc) just a fun way to spend a fall day. I just invited 4 of my close female friends today. I also want to invite the guy I'm dating. I'm going to tell him my that I decided to go to ___ Farm for my bday and invited a few close friends and ask if he can make it. General admission is about $12. As I am inviting him should I just pay for his ticket? I'm going to send him a link to the farm so he can see all the activities they offer. The website also mentions "buy tickets". It is my bday so part of me thinks he should pay for me, however this is an event I want to do, and I'm inviting him... so maybe I should may for him? My friends will be paying for themselves though. In our dating history he has paid for most dates/spent more money over all. However these last few dates especially, I've been chipping in more by either buying tickets or putting discounts I have towards the bill. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 You should buy the ticket. You're inviting him to the farm activities. Yes, it's your birthday but most likely he will take you out to dinner and bring you a gift. So in that regard, he has already spent more than the $12. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 Maybe posit as, "I am doing this for my BD, do you want to go, I can get tickets," and then see what he says. He may accept your offer, in which case just graciously pay (since yes, you're inviting him). He can always buy you a turkey leg while you're there. If he offers to pay for you, since it's your BD, let him. Or, maybe suggest that the two of you can do something alone to celebrate, like a nice dinner or something that doesn't involve your girlfriends. I would also give him a warning about that. My ex was always a bit uncomfortable being the only dude in a roomful of hens. I one time invited him to karaoke without telling him that he'd be the only guy and he nearly turned the car around when he realized that fact. Just rest on the idea that it's a $12 ticket. He probably will want to do something a bit more substantial for your BD anyway, so just pay and let it go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThisisIt606 Posted September 19, 2015 Author Share Posted September 19, 2015 yeah, I'll invite him and just pay for the ticket. Should I also mention something to the effect, maybe the 2 of us can just go for dinner? ( to imply I DO want to do something alone/just the two of us after the farm) Since the farm is a bit of a hike, he will have to drive me if he comes (He knows i don't have a car). My friends (have cars) will be coming separately. I plan on inviting 5 of my female friends (one which he already met) but I know now they won't all be able to make it (weekend work shifts). One of them has a bf and the other has a husband which I'm also going to extend an invite too. I've met the bf and husband before and they are seem friendly/easy going-- also more guys too so he doesn't feel out numbered. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 Sounds good... Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 I think he'll understand the implication that he'll have to drive. If that's not a problem (and it shouldn't be?), I don't think you need to spell it out like that. OP, are you a little concerned that maybe your BF WON'T want to take you out for your BD? I know it can feel a little funny to be like, "I want to do this, AND I expect you to pay for me," but are you hoping he'll invite and set up a special BD dinner for you? If this were me, I'd tell him about the farm, and then say, "and I'd like to do something just the two of us, too," and then drop it for a while. He might act like he didn't pick up on what you just said, but if he's sufficiently interested in pleasing you on your BD, he'll be happy for the hint, and y'all can revisit it later. I mean, yes it'd be great if he took full initiative, but chances are he's not much of a planner, and your BD is at least a couple of weeks away. For my BD, I did a beach bonfire, and told my BF about it but let my roommates take care of logistics. Still, he did his fair share, plus he took me out for two dinners. But those weren't planned until the last minute. Granted, we were at about 11 months at this point, so there was no notion that I was expecting too much to want to be treated by my BF on my birthday. You just seem a little concerned with getting the wording right. I would just tell him straight out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 I would just say, " I wanna go to this farm for my birthday, can you take me?" You don't want to "invite" him when actually you need him to give you a ride. And I would not mention the $12, I'd just ask, "Do you want to treat me to a day at the farm? I don't want anything else." Link to post Share on other sites
menyou Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 under no circumstance should you mention, hint, tip off anything about this guy paying for your ticket. no way. you invite him you pay for you. be a sport and just pay for him as well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThisisIt606 Posted September 19, 2015 Author Share Posted September 19, 2015 (edited) I would just say, " I wanna go to this farm for my birthday, can you take me?" You don't want to "invite" him when actually you need him to give you a ride. And I would not mention the $12, I'd just ask, "Do you want to treat me to a day at the farm? I don't want anything else." Well I don't need HIM to give me a ride per say, if he can't come then my friend will definitely give me a ride. I was just trying to say IF he can go, we would drive there together and then be free to leave together as well (without all my friends tagging along because they have their own rides.) I think I'll invite him to the farm and then do as another posted suggested saying something like, "i'd like to do something just the 2 of us too" and see what he suggests. I'd definitely be satisfied with dinner/just the 2 of us. Seeing as how my bday is a good 4 weeks away...when should I bring it up? I know he said he *might* have a business trip at the beginning of Oct. But this wouldn't interfere with my bday. Edited September 19, 2015 by ThisisIt606 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 Just tell him now. I'm sure you'll need to remind him a couple more times before the event. Why are you overthinking this? Maybe you're not, but I can't help but get that vibe. Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 I'd bring it up as soon as possible, and why not? Anyway, how each person handles things is just who they are, so just be yourself! I'm sure it'll be fine either way. I only said how I'd handle it. I'm the cheap and easy date Link to post Share on other sites
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