Jump to content

To meet or not to meet...


catlady11

Recommended Posts

Been messaging a guy from OLD. He told me straight up that he wants to start out as friends and hang out then take it from there. Fine with me. Last week he told me about this woman who he met from POF before he even knew I existed and decided they would just be friends, he wasn't gaga over her. She kept texting him and emailing him and he would email her back and tell her it's over. Meanwhile we've been talking and texting and made plans to meet this weekend. Last night he emails me and said that this other woman thought they were dating and made him feel bad for breaking up with her. I told him "how can you break up with someone you only saw a few times?"

 

This guy is a babe in the woods. His wife died 2 months ago and he has no idea what some women are like. He has 2 new cars, owns his own house, and has an excellent job. I told him this woman is a user and that she's only using him. See, at first she wanted nothing to do with him then he told her that he was talking to someone else (me) and that's when she made him feel guilty.

 

I told him straight out I didn't know if he's a player, a flake or just confused because you don't email and message/talk to someone all week with plans to go out and then turn around and tell them you're going to start dating a woman you've talked about wanting to get rid of (his friends even told him to get rid of her).

 

He seems like a nice guy and it bugs me that he's going to get taken advantage of by this woman. I told him he needs to think about what he wants because if he's only going to date her because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings it's not doing her any favors. Told him to tell this woman he needs some time to think things over and depending on how she reacts he'll see her true colors.

 

My interest in meeting him has dropped a lot. I can't abide a pushover or someone who has no backbone. I can't respect that. I don't care how much money he has or how many cars; I want someone I can respect who isn't afraid to say no.

 

So he still wants to meet and I feel like I'm kicking a puppy if I say no.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Wait. He was going to go out with you, after breaking up with this woman, but then cancelled your date, because she guilted him back [to her]?

 

If I understood that correctly, I believe you're being waaaay too hard on her, and waaaay too soft on him.

 

If true, it appears he played you against her, because he really WAS interested in her and used YOU to pique her interest in him.

 

 

Either way, [in my little world] it would be curb-time for the lost little puppy, who's a "babe in the woods" when it comes to dating.

 

Best of luck to you...

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Yep, she guilted him back to her. He told me all about her and how he ended it and how she kept texting him and emailing him.

 

I think if he was interested in her he would have kept seeing her.

 

I sniff a gold digger with her from what he's said. Regardless, he's either a pushover or a player and both things are a turn off.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Triangulation period. He told this lady about you; he told you about this woman. None of this was necessary. You are surprised that they could have a break up after only several dates, but at the same time, you are only speaking with this man, not dating, but have already told him a book of what he should and shouldn't do.

 

 

He broke up with her, period. No guilt is going to MAKE a man get back together with a lady he has no interest in and break a date with a woman whom he is.

 

 

It makes zero sense.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Wait...this guy is a widower for only TWO MONTHS and he's already been on a dating site and has already spent time 'hanging out' with someone and now wants to meet you????

 

WTF???

 

Did he take a date to his wife's funeral, too?

 

What the hell is wrong with this guy?

 

I wouldn't meet anyone who makes a mockery of their wife's death by dating while her body is still warm. Ugh.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't see that this guy can be in any mental state to date when his wife died two months ago... I'd say just move on and find someone in a better mental frame of mind.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...