mrsdarcy09 Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 (edited) Hi All, Sorry for the length before I begin. I met a male colleague about 4 - 5 weeks ago who initiated flirting with me after a group drinks. He made a joke that I was his future wife, made many flirtatious comments such as breaking his heart if I didn't accept his 'proposal'. At consequent catch-ups or seeing him around the office, he happily continued this inside joke in front of many others. He has also continued to proactively flirt. He's naturally a very shy, observant kind of person, though at times I feel he is being confident around me. He doesn't strike me as a player just a nice guy. His eye contact is always on point, doesn't seem distracted when I talk to him etc. So I felt the signs are all there. We even went out for a drink after work one night, one on one, pre-planned. During this session, we discussed many personal things and found many, many commonalities and he commented that he had a great time with me and I'm a great girl. He didn't bring up any girls. However last week he suddenly tells me someone he was casually seeing broke up with him! I was shocked, confused and a bit taken aback. We went out drinking in a group and though he allowed me to put my arms around his neck etc and hold him, he didn't reciprocate physically aside from ruffling my hair and pulling me into hugs etc. However he continued to flirt! I assumed I was now in the friend-zone and have continued to speak to him at a friendly level, as no hard feelings. But he is continuing to flirt with me and I am unsure what he wants? He makes comments such as I'm not picking up his signals, yet he continues to tell me about potential girls? Is he genuinely shy and into me, afraid of the rejection because I'm a naturally flirtatious girl? Or is he just having a good time and playing me? Edited September 16, 2015 by mrsdarcy09 Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 (edited) Flip the POV. As a woman, what's one thing you to do to try and communicate that you aren't into a guy? You'll talk his ear off about other guys you're trying to date, that aren't him right? That is exactly what he's doing with you. If he was interested, he wouldn't want to give the impression that he wasn't. Personally, I don't think he is "playing you" at all. I'm guessing he just sees you as a really good friend to be playful and joke around with. It seems like you're the one who thought there was something more there which is on you, not him. If he wanted to date you, he'd be showing it with his actions by asking you out. Finally, what you mentioned really doesn't sound like flirting at all to me. "Future wife" is more of a playful affectation of friendship since you two get along so well. With actual flirting, there would be a slight sexual undertone. Like saying how beautiful you are, or how great your perfume smells, or commenting on some other aspect of you physically. Plus, the way he ruffled your hair seems more brother/sister to me. As a guy I can say that when I'm sexually attracted to a woman, the physical contact is seductive in nature. Ruffling a woman's hair is like saying 'Oh you.." as if she's being playfully scolded. Edited September 16, 2015 by fitnessfan365 Link to post Share on other sites
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