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Called me a "really nice guy"


wb1988

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There's this girl that works at this cafe a few days a week. I work nearby and I also travel a lot for work; I stop by that cafe all the time sometimes just for a black coffee on the go. Unfortunately we've never had a real conversation before at the cafe. Body language is excellent but I know that means nothing as it's part of her job.

 

Last weekend I was at a club and while waiting for my drink I hear "oh my god I've always wanted to meet you", I look down and it was the girl! I was pretty tipsy and held it together but I ended up checking out her friend beside her several times. I think the 4th time I eyed her friend she said "ok I'll leave you to your friends" and I ended up walking away, I forgot to ask for her number.

 

Although she said a bunch of stuff the only thing I can remember her saying is "you're the really nice guy that drives a white convertible, like everyone calls you the nice guy in the white car". The thing is I'm not really a nice guy: I've never tipped there, I frequently empty some trash in my car put it in a bag and give it to an employee to throw away, I frequently use their facilities without buying anything and I avoid any conversation with anyone there almost like they're robots. I dress well (it's me in my avatar) and drive a new Bimmer that I park outside so I guess maybe that's what clouds it. But the fact that she could call me that without ever having a conversation before seems odd.

 

To me when I girl calls you a "nice guy" thats never good, actually I've said is 100+ times including on this forum that "nice guy" always means "nice guy that I'd be friends with but would never **** even if I was drunk" but this is the first time where maybe it could mean something different, perhaps because she didn't want to be too forward?

Edited by wb1988
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She was trying to compliment you. I am also a woman and have used that term to describe men I had a romantic interest in. Don't read so much into it.

 

However, when she noticed you checking out her friend, you lost your chance.

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Dude, she was hitting on you. The "nice guy" comments she made were because she was trying to say you have a good reputation and people get along with you from what she's heard.

 

You're thinking of "nice guy" in the sense that you're seeing/dating/ or trying to date a girl and she's saying "I think you're a really nice guy but I'm just not into you like that". However the situation you described is completely different.

 

 

If you lived in an apartment building and you asked the doorman about the brunette that you've seen coming in and out recently.... And he said "oh yea, she's a really nice girl, always says hello". Then you have the impression that she's approachable to some degree and isn't a flat out bitch.

 

The girl at the bar has obviously had her eye on you and seen you around before. She's even asked or talked about you to some degree. She made the first move and introduced herself with "I've always wanted to meet you" (that's pretty blatant by the way so safe to say she's got a crush). Up to you how you want to proceed. My guess is that if you visit the cafe or see her around again you can easily say "hey I realized after we talked last time that I never got your number" .... She'll give it to you.

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Dude, she was hitting on you. The "nice guy" comments she made were because she was trying to say you have a good reputation and people get along with you from what she's heard.

 

Though she's probably disabused of this notion, now especially since OP kept checking out HER FRIEND.

 

Smooth move, ex-lax.

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Nice guy opposed to hot guy!!!!

 

Nice guy = friend zone

 

Hot guy = boyfriend material.

 

I wouldnt get wound up being called a "nice guy". I get called that at work all the time but it doesnt get you anywhere.

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My guess is that if you visit the cafe or see her around again you can easily say "hey I realized after we talked last time that I never got your number" ...

 

This is exactly what I'll do, thanks for the tip.

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Nice guy opposed to hot guy!!!!

 

Nice guy = friend zone

 

Hot guy = boyfriend material.

 

I wouldnt get wound up being called a "nice guy". I get called that at work all the time but it doesnt get you anywhere.

Disagree.

She was thinking hot guy but trying not to be too forward so she said nice guy. If she didn't think he was cute she would have just said, the guy.

 

Imho :)

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Disagree.

She was thinking hot guy but trying not to be too forward so she said nice guy. If she didn't think he was cute she would have just said, the guy.

 

Imho :)

 

Thanks, that's actually what a friend of mine told me earlier today. I'll ask her out tomorrow hopefully it won't make my cafe visits awkward whichever way it goes.

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You always talk about what a good dresser you are and point to your avatar, but that's an opinion that's left to the eye of the beholder. I wouldn't agree with you.

 

Jerk move in checking out her friend so obviously four times.

 

I think she was being sarcastic about the nice guy comment, and in your drunk stupor and with some other flaws you took it another way.

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Nice guy opposed to hot guy!!!!

 

Nice guy = friend zone

 

Hot guy = boyfriend material.

 

I wouldnt get wound up being called a "nice guy". I get called that at work all the time but it doesnt get you anywhere.

 

I'd saw many women wouldn't call you hot guy to your face. I would totally tell my friends about the hot guy. If said hot guy is standing in front of me? I'd be more apt to say: nice shirt, nice watch, cool glasses..... or ask you a question about something situational. Would never call you hot off the bat. Now if we are dating or something I'd be more apt to pay you a looks based compliment.

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So there is a girl you like in a cafe, you get a golden chance to meet her outside of the work situation, she even flirts with you, and what do you do? You blatently check out her friend. Wtf? Seriously.

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She has a crush on you. You know where she is, so all you have to do is ask for her number.....heck, you could probably get away with walking up to her and kissing her!

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Let me guess. Base model BMW?

 

Seriously though. No chick uses 'nice guy' explicitly to signal sexual interest of lack thereof. And no chick in her right mind calls a stranger 'hot guy' at some random night club.

 

 

But yeah, your wandering eyes probably ruined it. My guess is 'nice guy' is not the label she's using when telling her friends about you.

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So there is a girl you like in a cafe, you get a golden chance to meet her outside of the work situation, she even flirts with you, and what do you do? You blatently check out her friend. Wtf? Seriously.

 

Agreed. I don't think she's be calling him the "nice guy in the convertible" anymore.

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So there is a girl you like in a cafe, you get a golden chance to meet her outside of the work situation, she even flirts with you, and what do you do? You blatently check out her friend. Wtf? Seriously.

 

I wasn't sure if she was just being friendly or flirty so I thought her friend would give me a clue but the friend just had a smile the whole time while is why I kept looking, also I just naturally check out girls everywhere. I told this to the cafe girl today anyway about me checking out her friend and she said that is why she's so surprised I just asked for her number.

 

She has a crush on you. You know where she is, so all you have to do is ask for her number.....heck, you could probably get away with walking up to her and kissing her!

 

I went to the cafe before and no sign but today she was there. I said "hey I never got your number after I saw you at xxxx" (as someone here suggested), she put her number in my phone while almost all of the other staff smirked.

 

I'm glad to say that it's going well guys!

Edited by wb1988
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Good stuff!

 

I too like to check girls out when im out and about, but if im with someone im interested in i keep the checking in check :)

 

Girls really dont appreciate a constantly roving eye.

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I'm a woman and I can guarantee you that she was interested in you!!!

 

However, after your jerk move (checking out her friend), I doubt if she is still interested in.

 

If I were her, you wouldnt stand a second chance to re-connect to me after that jerk-move! I'm sorry but NEXT PLS!!

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Ruby Slippers

Why do I get the strong feeling this girl is going to get hurt? Remember to be kind. A very basic but nearly lost virtue.

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jam.over.jelly

no offense but you said it yourself, you really are no "nice guy". And please leave her alone, she seems like a nice sweet girl.

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Come on guys, girls get hot and bothered over a guy that is a challenge. Checkin out her friend was a good move....just says in her mind "game on!" The key is she is already emotionally invested, because she's been crushing on him for weeks or months. It's just going to make her want him more.

 

have at'er it's a go.

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Nice guy means she aint intrested

 

 

Well, if you read the last posts. He got her number.

 

In most instances when a girl told me Im nice. I d be reduced to the friendzone. So, Im with aaadouble on this unless hes not telling us the truth.

 

Let us know if you make it to a date or if she flakes. Im a cynic and there has only been one girl I ve asked a number for. Got it and text her and no reply. Anyone can get a number. Making it go somewhere if a different story altogether.

Edited by Zippy2000
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Nice guy is a compliment for sure in this context , why would a woman say "oh you're that sexy stud from the coffee shop" sure its avoiding friend zone, bit forward. Nice is better.

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It probably meant she liked you but a good piece of advice for women is if you are interested in a man don't call him a nice guy. Men take it as not attracted to us.

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ChicagoSparty

'Nice guy' has two meanings in female vernacular.

 

1) you go out a couple of times, or express some interest, but the girl is not into you. She will often say you're such a 'nice guy'. Kiss her goodbye...metaphorically, of course, because she probably won't give you an actual kiss.

 

Then, on the other end of the spectrum...

 

2) You don't express any real interest or make any moves toward a girl who likes you. She's into you but has no real in. She will tell you you're a 'nice guy' to fluff you a little, get you talking, and maybe something will happen for her. This is typically wishful thinking on her part, but even if you aren't a nice guy, she'll still be into you...maybe even moreso than if you really were a nice guy.

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