glycerine Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Hello there! I'm 29 years old. Divorced. Been single for over a year. Very good looking (I just mention it for context ). I just wanted to get advice from other people that have been in the position I am right now. I'm really happy being single! I enjoy a lot my time alone but I also go out a lot and meet plenty of people...women of all kind: age, education, etc. I'm not shy at all, but I'm not a player; I do attract a lot of women by being more quiet and funny. I have my goals very clear and I'm very focused on myself right now, so I'm not really looking for a relationship. About my behavior: - I'm very attracted to intelligent women with artistic and spiritual inclinations. (There happens to be a LOT of these out there, I always thought they we're almost extinct as a species) - I have a bunch of female friends which I (for a lack of a better term) friendzoned, this number continues to grow. - Through life experiences I've learned it's better not to get involved with married people, neither those in a serious relationship or that just got out of one. - I don't know why I could be out with a couple friends, better looking dudes, and I'm always the one to get the girl. I lose interest quickly... (*insert trust issues here*) I get hit by married women A LOT!!!! (It might seems weird to say women hit on guys, most guys don't realize when they're being hit on, since women use a different approach, trust me, you just have to open your eyes). ---- The following is difficult to explain; I've seen what women are capable, (some through the eyes of my friends that are players) From really young girls that basically prostitute themselves with no need of money (and no obvious drug abuse) To wives that have everything but are just bored and do some serious sh*tty stuff. And a ton of depressed single girls with an extremely low self steem. I also see how sad married men look, all the stress and anxiety that they're couples bring on them....and how they don't really don't have any goals for their own...basically make their couple happy...or more like to get them to shut up and stop complaining for a minute. ----- You could say that since I have an enormous supply and a diminished demand...the value just goes down. "Enormous supply" ...yeah really! Ironically that's what happens, according to one girl, the fact that I seem to not care only makes me more attractive and a challenge....to turn me into a bf. There have been 2 girls that I really think are more innocent and I actually liked them for a while....but then let go since I had no "intention" of pursuing them (they deserve it I suppose). I know I'm not damaged for not liking a girl that's good but not for me, I try to take care of me first. I'm really honest when I say I'm not looking for a relationship but if it happens I won't run away from it. Just as I get out to meet new girls not really looking for anything. I just wonder were do I go from here... Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 How long were you married? Link to post Share on other sites
Author glycerine Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 Thanks for responding. 4 years married. Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Well what's your question? If it's about trusting a woman.......sure, the divorce rate is high, and then there are a lot of other couples that are unhappy. However, if you find a woman with integrity who loves you......as long as you treat her right and keep her in love with you, she'll be naturally monogamous. Link to post Share on other sites
TunaInTheBrine Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 I can feel where you're coming from. Yes, a lot of couples do seem unhappy, and people are capable of some pretty low things. Just last night I was stood up by someone I'm supposed to be exclusive with, and she has been posting pictures of herself on Twitter hanging out with some shirtless guy this week. I don't feel ALL relationships are doomed, but I do feel most are destined for misery. Most people simply do not have the self-awareness or commitment, let alone the tenacity, that is required to not simply 'endure' but to thrive in a lasting loving relatoinship. It is rough waters out there. I'm 31 years old and have been around the block quite a bit. I've known exactly one woman who I think has what it takes, and I dropped the ball on that one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author glycerine Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 Well what's your question? If it's about trusting a woman.......sure, the divorce rate is high, and then there are a lot of other couples that are unhappy. However, if you find a woman with integrity who loves you......as long as you treat her right and keep her in love with you, she'll be naturally monogamous. Looks to me that it's pretty rare to find women that actually understand what a lifetime of monogamy implies. Not saying that there's something wrong with not wanting to be monogamous, just looks like the social pressure for having them be monogamous send them to an artificial relationship (in the sense that should be indefinite). I suppose that based on my recent experience of how women behave... I 'm not really sure that most are "naturally" inclined to good behavior, seems like the minority to me. And then I see myself as not really wanting to be on a relationship, but you know, you just me people. Link to post Share on other sites
Author glycerine Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 I can feel where you're coming from. Yes, a lot of couples do seem unhappy, and people are capable of some pretty low things. Just last night I was stood up by someone I'm supposed to be exclusive with, and she has been posting pictures of herself on Twitter hanging out with some shirtless guy this week. I don't feel ALL relationships are doomed, but I do feel most are destined for misery. Most people simply do not have the self-awareness or commitment, let alone the tenacity, that is required to not simply 'endure' but to thrive in a lasting loving relatoinship. It is rough waters out there. I'm 31 years old and have been around the block quite a bit. I've known exactly one woman who I think has what it takes, and I dropped the ball on that one. I'm actually ok with things not lasting or being permanent, what I don't like is the dishonesty of most women I see, being married and yet being able (even being pretty forward) to cheat on their spouses without leaving the dude before. Of course this is a two way street, men cheat a lot, it's just that women cheat on a whim most of the times. Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 I think it's great that you're honest with yourself about not wanting another long term relationship (whether that's forever or 'for now'.) Just be upfront about it with your dates and enjoy yourself! You mention trust issues. Understandable. But if you want to work on them, now's as good a time as any to do it. I had a 'tune up' with a therapist after my last LTR ended badly... it was incredibly helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Of the women who cheat, the majority are doing it for revenge.......because they fell out of love with their partner. Link to post Share on other sites
Author glycerine Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 I think it's great that you're honest with yourself about not wanting another long term relationship (whether that's forever or 'for now'.) Just be upfront about it with your dates and enjoy yourself! You mention trust issues. Understandable. But if you want to work on them, now's as good a time as any to do it. I had a 'tune up' with a therapist after my last LTR ended badly... it was incredibly helpful. Actually I've been on therapy for a while (had bipolar disorder since I was a kid, I've been under treatment for years now) the doctor says that I should not worry so much, and quoting: "Whomever decides to sleep with you after you've been upfront about not wanting to be in a relationship, it's not your problem. All these girls are big enough to know what to do and what's good for them". In the end I know better than to think in forever terms, I'm happy now; yet I know i'm not the first person to be in the position I'm right now, I'm curious to know about older people, just for the sake of that....curiosity... ...and humility in the sense that, believing I'm the first to be on this position is a very bipolarish tought. Link to post Share on other sites
Author glycerine Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 Of the women who cheat, the majority are doing it for revenge.......because they fell out of love with their partner. I would disagree that you should need to take revenge on your partner just because you felt out of love. The right thing to do (or better thing to do in order to avoid suffering for yourself and your soon to be former partner) would be to just break up in my opinion. But....yeah most of the married women that up my business are clearly bored and/or looking for revenge. It's just the way the world is right know. Link to post Share on other sites
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