kismetkismet Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I'm really curious about how it seems like some people fall in and out of love quite easily. And it seems to me that usually the speed and way that people fall in love has much more to do with the person falling in love than the person they are falling in love with. I think there are exceptions to that for sure, sometimes you meet a particular person that throws that pattern off completely, but generally speaking people seem to fall in love and out of love in a similar way each time. It takes me a long time to fall in love. I don't develop crushes on people very easily, and when I do they're not that intense and they don't last that long. I have to have sustained contact and a real relationship in order for my feelings to intensify at all. In a way I guess that could be a good thing.. less unrequited love things.. but it also means that I don't pursue anyone at all or really look for love. It means i have less love and excitement... aaand I think because it takes me so long to fall in love it also takes me a long time to fall out of it, because I know for me that it's rare. I can be pretty cynical and a bit emotionally guarded and I do tend to be excessively logical and overthink things. but I'm also a very loving person, I would do anything for my family and friends and I'm very sentimental and sensitive. Once I AM in love, I'm extremely loving and affectionate. So.. what about you? Do you fall in love often and quickly? What do you think it is? (you don't have to ramble on the way I did, i'm just really curious about anything to do with this) Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 it takes me forever to fall in love. maybe thats why i can break up with a woman so easily Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I've fallen in love twice in my life and it went quite fast, within a week or two. But given that I've been in many more relationships it follows that I don't fall in love often. Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 It takes two months. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kismetkismet Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 alphamale - do you mean it's easy to break up with ones that you're not in love with? I find it pretty easy to leave relationships when i'm not in love with them. But i feel like because i fall in love so slowly it actually makes it HARDER to leave someone i'm in love with because i know it takes me so long to get to that point. Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 An old, but cute, saying I once heard and truthfully, it's not exactly whack: "Falling in love is easy, the hard part is falling in love with someone who falls in love back!" Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I m similar. It takes me a little longer to love someone. I have to know them a bit first. It took me a while to work out my feelings. At first I felt I fell in love with someone when i saw then and mistook that at love at first sight. Through time I ve learned this is attraction or lust. Its not until further down the line when I do get to know them I fall in love. One girl I used to be attracted to she had a terrible personality as I got to know her. I didnt develop any feelings for her. Another girl who was attractive and had a lovely caring personality I developed feelings for and you could say fell in love. I tend to give people time to see what they are all about before I fall for them. Link to post Share on other sites
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 It depends on the guy. It depends on his character, what's in his heart, what type of man he is, and if he treats me with respect and kindness. It depends on other things - such as his personality, how attracted I am to him emotionally and physically as well as the chemistry that we have with each other. It also depends on how he reacts and feels towards my children, since they're an eternal part of the package. I don't expect him to act as their daddy, because they already have a dad. But, if he's receptive to them and interacts with them on a respectful and caring level, then this will affect how I feel about him. If he also has a child (or children), I will respond towards them with the same respect, caring and kindness that EVERY person should treat someone else's children. So, there's no specific timetable with me...it just depends on the guy. . Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 alphamale - do you mean it's easy to break up with ones that you're not in love with? yes that's what i mean Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I don't expect him to act as their daddy, because they already have a dad. man if i had a nickel for every time i've heard that Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 How fast do I fall out of love? The second he makes a move that even resembles raising his hand to me and/or disrespects me or my boundaries in any way. How fast do I fall in love? When it is clear to me that he can and wants to meet my emotional needs for a relationship, when my trust in him is secure and when he has demonstrated all this in a consistent manner over the course of a few months. Until this happens, I am managing my emotions and expectations. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 (edited) I fall in lust pretty quickly 3-4 dates It takes much longer for me to fall in love because for me 'ILY' means I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I'll risk everything including my life for you. That feeling takes almost a year. As to fall out, it takes a long time. It once took me 3 years after a break up to fall out of love. It depends on how long the relationship lasted, were we living together etc. Edited September 2, 2015 by Gaeta Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I have only fallen in love once.... Sure, I said "I love you too" when my high school boyfriend uttered the words - but I didn't know what that meant back then... But the one time I fell in love - it was really quick, weeks not months - and I am still in love with him a decade and a half later. Link to post Share on other sites
deadelvis Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I have known instantly whenever I met a woman who I was going to have a LTR with. We both always know immediately. The moment we meet it's like "well, should we just get this over with and make it official?" It's always been 100% mutual too. Like you just know it's inevitable so why even fight it? Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Hmm interesting... looking back I'll have to agree with that. Most people I've fallen in love with, except one, deep down I knew it could happen from the moment I met them. I never put this into words like this so I never realized it. Thanks for the food for thought. Usually I realize I am in love after the man tells me he is. From my experience, it takes men 3 months to fall in love with you. For me it's around 4-5 months if it happens. On the other hand, I have fallen in lust with several people where I thought it could one day become love, but it didn't. I have known instantly whenever I met a woman who I was going to have a LTR with. We both always know immediately. The moment we meet it's like "well, should we just get this over with and make it official?" It's always been 100% mutual too. Like you just know it's inevitable so why even fight it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author kismetkismet Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 Man, I WISH that I knew from the moment I met them. Two of them I wasn't even interested in at all when I met them, but they persisted so much that eventually I ended up falling for them (5-6 months to fall in love.. though i'm not sure i REALLY loved one of them..).. The most recent one (7-8 months to fall in love) I definitely thought there was something there, but I still wasn't really sure whether I wanted to be with him or not at first. My first love.. he said he knew when he first saw me across the street, but I didn't know right away. But I did fall in love with him in about a month, possibly because we were travelling though and spending 24 hrs a day together for months on end. We were pretty much living together from the day we met because we were staying in hostels together as we travelled. I have always been so very unsure about how i felt about them though.. I was never sure that I wanted to be with any one of them..I would think so one moment, but the next wouldn't.. and I'm 29. I should know how i bloody feel about things by now hahah Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 i've never been... can't say. i can tell you about Obsession or unrequited feelings.. but i can't otherwise say anything. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Knight23 Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 I've only ever been in love once so far, and it took me at least a year to realize it. I was either in denial or repressing it since she was my friend. Either way, it took me quite a while to fall. I've had several crushes before, but those only lasted a few weeks at most. Link to post Share on other sites
Carm Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 It usually takes me a little while to fall for someone....at least half a year but I do fall in lust within a month or two. My boyfriend told me after 13 months that he loved me. That was the longest it has taken a man to tell me. For him, falling in love takes a lot longer, we talked about it beforehand, and glad I was patient to wait and trust my instincts. Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 In love very fast, out of love very slowly. Ended a couple of LTRs b/c they were toxic to me, not b/c I'd stopped loving them completely. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 It takes a lot for me to fall in love but when I do I am extremely loyal unless they betray me in some sort of way. There is no going back after that. Link to post Share on other sites
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