Hope4thefuture Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Hi all. I have been dating my BF for about 10 months now. We took things VERY slow. I got divorced last fall and he just got divorced a few months ago. Since we are on different schedules with our kids we only get to see each other once a week. Every once in a blue moon on a weekend. He has met some of my friends. We went away together on a weekend trip this summer. I have met a couple of his friends. We haven't met any family members yet but talked about it. I would like to start seeing each other more than once a week. I have mentioned this to him. He said let's wait until after the summer schedule since it is already in place. He says he wants to see me more but I'm not sure he is really trying to make that happen. He doesn't want to switch weekends right now because he doesn't want his kids to know about us yet. So all we have is one day a week, but it is impossible to build on our relationship when I only get to see him for 5 hours a week. I do sleep over and we talk everyday, but it is not the same as being with him. What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Too soon to tell, given that you are both very recently divorced. Normally you'd know after 10 months. But you got together very soon after your divorce, and he got divorced later? I can understand why he doesn't want his kids to know yet. Give it a few more months. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Hi all. I have been dating my BF for about 10 months now. We took things VERY slow. I got divorced last fall and he just got divorced a few months ago. Since we are on different schedules with our kids we only get to see each other once a week. Every once in a blue moon on a weekend. He has met some of my friends. We went away together on a weekend trip this summer. I have met a couple of his friends. We haven't met any family members yet but talked about it. I would like to start seeing each other more than once a week. I have mentioned this to him. He said let's wait until after the summer schedule since it is already in place. He says he wants to see me more but I'm not sure he is really trying to make that happen. He doesn't want to switch weekends right now because he doesn't want his kids to know about us yet. So all we have is one day a week, but it is impossible to build on our relationship when I only get to see him for 5 hours a week. I do sleep over and we talk everyday, but it is not the same as being with him. What should I do? This is all you can do right now. You've expressed your need to see him more often/regularly. You need to sit back and observe whether he makes that effort now and give it a little time. Don't bring it up again, too soon. Give him time to demonstrate effort. Personally, if you are hoping for a long-term, committed relationship and I was at the point you are and not even able to get a regular schedule for seeing one another, I would set a time limit for myself now. In other words, if a schedule isn't in place and you haven't met family and kids and other things are not moving in the direction for a commitment in say 3 more months (or whatever you have patience for), I'd bail. I wouldn't waste much more time on it. 5 hours a week is barely boyfriend/girlfriend even if there are scheduling problems. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Labor Day is this weekend. Summer's over. When you see him next week ask him about his kids' school schedule. Share yours. See when additional time together is available. Link to post Share on other sites
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