Is it okay to not care how smart someone is?

[Billybob23]

Like say you really care for them but realize they aren't the brightest, though you think they make up for it by being a good person and having a good heart.

[Oregon_Dude]

Sure... if you yourself are an idiot as well.

[RecentChange]

For me, no, I can't be with someone who is "dim".

 

Intelligence is my first requirement.

[Redhead14]

Like say you really care for them but realize they aren't the brightest, though you think they make up for it by being a good person and having a good heart.

 

If you have enough intelligence for both you, sure. But keep this in mind, if she is so "unilluminated", can she successfully and responsibly handle her share of responsibilities in a relationship? Finances, etc? If she is screwing up the checkbook and spending all your money on bank overdraft fees, is that gonna work for ya? Do you want to be the one who has to make all the hard decisions by yourself?

 

Does she manage on her own well enough? Does she make sound decisions for herself now? Does she at least have common sense?

[Billybob23]

If you have enough intelligence for both you, sure. But keep this in mind, if she is so "unilluminated", can she successfully and responsibly handle her share of responsibilities in a relationship? Finances, etc? If she is screwing up the checkbook and spending all your money on bank overdraft fees, is that gonna work for ya? Do you want to be the one who has to make all the hard decisions by yourself?

 

Does she manage on her own well enough? Does she make sound decisions for herself now? Does she at least have common sense?

 

She does work at the local supermarket, though we don't live together. She's my neighbor.

[Vercetti]

Good person with kind heart, why cause not smart enough to do something stupid...oh wait. Personally I couldn't tolerate, nature of things if bright enough to know limited, then wouldn't be dull. Yet being dull think are on equal level with those that have worlds more perceptive.

[Billybob23]

Sure... if you yourself are an idiot as well.

 

Well I don't mean to sound cocky but, I wouldn't say I'm an idiot.

[casey.lives]

I don't care as long as they still try and engage in conversation. Everybody is smart in their own way. I like people who have a different understanding or a different delivery. Being the same is lame.

[Vercetti]

Well I don't mean to sound cocky but, I wouldn't say I'm an idiot.

 

 

Then take care letting anyone in your life that could cause you harm due to overt lacking in judgement. Endless ways for a nice dolt with a kind heart to get you into compromising situations.

[Redhead14]

She does work at the local supermarket, though we don't live together. She's my neighbor.

 

I'm talking about the future with her, if you go that far.

[carhill]

We're all smart about different things, presuming lack of mental defect.

 

I was raised by a guy who was very intellectually smart and a gal who was very practically smart. They meshed because they respected each others gifts and strengths and played to them, adopting roles in their marriage which reflected them.

[DrReplyInRhymes]

Like say you really care for them but realize they aren't the brightest, though you think they make up for it by being a good person and having a good heart.

 

This is a personal preference for yourself, no one can tell you one way or the other,

But I'll leave a small riddle for you to ask yourself before I return to ask another:

Would you rather date a motivated idiot who is kind and caring,

or a lazy smart person who is neither exciting nor daring?

 

I do believe there is a level of intelligence that can't be ignored or swept aside,

For you have to be able to function, and exist, otherwise problems arise,

If she can't sustain herself or her life, or she has to depend on you for the ability,

Then it's no longer a relationship, right? It's care-giving in futility.

[Oregon_Dude]

I made the mistake of dating a not-that-smart girl. We were together for a year. Deep down I always felt smarter and better than her. I didn't like that feeling.

 

You want a partner who is your equal. Intellectually, emotionally, attractive-wise. In as many ways as you can finagle.

[Redhead14]

Some people have PhD's but have absolutely no common sense. Some people have only common sense/street smarts but have never opened a book for the purpose of learning in their lives.

[empresario]

It depends on your personality. I have a 150 IQ, and I have rarely met my intellectual equal in general...definitely not in a relationship.

 

 

I guess one could say I'm a professional at dumbing down to other people. Try explaining to a date that you work in computational theory, algorithmic research, and machine learning. It's easier to say "when the Matrix happens in real life...it's my fault...el oh el".

 

 

The key is to get someone smart ENOUGH in general, and really smart in their own piece of paradise. For example, I love dating women with high amounts of social/emotional intelligence. It's an area I lack, and I find it balances me out...even if they can't calculate a 15% tip in their head.

[PrettyEmily77]

How do you know she's not smart, if you don't know her? B/c she works in a local supermarket?

[Billybob23]

I made the mistake of dating a not-that-smart girl. We were together for a year. Deep down I always felt smarter and better than her. I didn't like that feeling.

 

You want a partner who is your equal. Intellectually, emotionally, attractive-wise. In as many ways as you can finagle.

 

I don't know about that.

[Billybob23]

How do you know she's not smart, if you don't know her? B/c she works in a local supermarket?

 

I do know her.

[Maggie4]

I have never met anyone about whom I can say, "not as smart as me". What really frustrates me, is when you have a conversation, or when you have a disagreement, and the other person doesn't follow logic, then you can't continue talking.

[Oregon_Dude]

I don't know about that.

Cool. Maybe you're fit for this woman, after all.

[Ruby Slippers]

I've read that couples are most successful when they're at similar levels in terms of attractiveness, intelligence, and socio-economic status, as then they can relate to and understand each other better.

 

I just broke up with someone who was not on my level intellectually, though we broke up for reasons unrelated to intelligence. I was always aware that he was not on my level intellectually, but I excused it because he was very loving, good-hearted, etc. But it always bothered me a little, and the difference became more pronounced as time went on.

 

Try explaining to a date that you work in computational theory, algorithmic research, and machine learning. It's easier to say "when the Matrix happens in real life...it's my fault...el oh el".

Off topic, but I find it a great shame when smart/talented/gifted people use their gifts to enrich themselves at the expense of the greater good. Of course, most do. My ex was doing the same thing. I still hope he'll see the light and use his intelligence to find a more beneficial use for his gifts, and I gently made this appeal to him when we were together. I doubt he will, as his current lifestyle is too comfortable, and he's quite the materialist. But oh what a world it could be if people would not allow their gifts to be so easily bought and sold.

[RecentChange]

I made the mistake of dating a not-that-smart girl. We were together for a year. Deep down I always felt smarter and better than her. I didn't like that feeling.

 

You want a partner who is your equal. Intellectually, emotionally, attractive-wise. In as many ways as you can finagle.

 

I agree with this - and that is why I said a lack of intelligence is a deal killer for me. I find that I lose respect for them, patience with them, and I just end up domineering - its not good.

 

But I am also female - seems like more men are willing to put up with a bubble head if she is "sweet" good looking etc.

[Billybob23]

I agree with this - and that is why I said a lack of intelligence is a deal killer for me. I find that I lose respect for them, patience with them, and I just end up domineering - its not good.

 

But I am also female - seems like more men are willing to put up with a bubble head if she is "sweet" good looking etc.

 

That's pretty much true I'd say, different strokes too for others.

[empresario]

Off topic, but I find it a great shame when smart/talented/gifted people use their gifts to enrich themselves at the expense of the greater good. Of course, most do. My ex was doing the same thing. I still hope he'll see the light and use his intelligence to find a more beneficial use for his gifts, and I gently made this appeal to him when we were together. I doubt he will, as his current lifestyle is too comfortable, and he's quite the materialist. But oh what a world it could be if people would not allow their gifts to be so easily bought and sold.

 

 

I get what you're saying. My comment about the Matrix was merely a joke...one that people laugh at and understand.

 

 

My specialty is machine-learning, but my current company I started is in marketing. It's no less trite...but the only way I use my gifts anymore is helping people make marketing decision with the greatest ROI. I make machines think and put primary researchers out of jobs. That's about the most damage my computers do to the greater good.

 

 

So I do get what you're saying. Marketing isn't exactly philanthropic nor humanitarian. But it is solving a problem and I love what I do.

 

 

But, as most people know, us entrepreneurs don't make a lot of money. On paper we are millionaires. In practicality we are living paycheck to paycheck just like everyone else. That's how we practice philanthropy. By giving up our own wealth (short-term) to provide people with careers, benefits, and great cultures.

[MissBee]

Like say you really care for them but realize they aren't the brightest, though you think they make up for it by being a good person and having a good heart.

 

Ahhh, this is totally up to you and what you can live with.

 

For me, I'd eventually become annoyed or it would become a problem over time, no matter how good of a heart they had. Eventually we'd be very mismatched and I'd become frustrated and things would feel unequal between us.

 

However, if you genuinely don't find it a problem, then go for it. The problem comes in if you're settling or just hoping to ignore this and look at their good heart even when you aren't well-matched practically.