treehugger101 Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Have any of you ever dated, been in a relationship, engaged, married, etc. To someone who always told you stuff like "I feel rejected and neglected and that no one loves me." OR they always ask you "Do you like me and why?" OR "Do you love me and why?" saying this stuff and asking this stuff to you like 24/7? What would you do about this situation? Would you always reply to these remarks or just move on and find someone else? The guy I have been seeing for the past 7 months, is always asking me this kind of stuff and he should already know my answer, I don't like having to repeat myself 24/7. What would you do? Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Have any of you ever dated, been in a relationship, engaged, married, etc. To someone who always told you stuff like "I feel rejected and neglected and that no one loves me." OR they always ask you "Do you like me and why?" OR "Do you love me and why?" saying this stuff and asking this stuff to you like 24/7? What would you do about this situation? Would you always reply to these remarks or just move on and find someone else? The guy I have been seeing for the past 7 months, is always asking me this kind of stuff and he should already know my answer, I don't like having to repeat myself 24/7. What would you do? What I would do is become extremely irritated and turned off, and, as such, have to end the relationship. I never felt compelled to continue dating men who irritated me and turned me off. Just me. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 I would never be able to date a man like this. It would completely turn me off and emasculate him in my eyes. How can you have sex with him? There is nothing masculine in a man like this. Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Sort of. It's a self esteem issue thing. I would try to help them understand that their negative view of themselves is clouding their perception. If it didn't get better, I'd leave. People that can't love themselves for who they are, can't properly love others. Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 If he really is saying this all the time, I would suggest therapy to him. Explain that you love him, but it's affecting the relationship and you want it to be stronger. It's not your job to be a therapist. Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 What are his family dynamics like? Are you willing to work through the self esteem issue with him? Do you truly love him enough to help him heal from some neglect or abuse he may have suffered as a child? Because that is where I think this may be coming from... We are all fallible and sometimes those we love do not come to us whole. Some people throw up their hands and say....nope, can't do this and some, if the other person wants to heal, will help him find a therapist to figure out what happened in his family or childhood that made him feel so unworthy, unwanted and unloved. This is about compassion. We seem to have more for strangers than people who love us. If he does not seek help with this or becomes defensive and angry about it, there is nothing you can do to help him. He has to want help. He has to be open to figuring out his self esteem issues or you can't be with him anymore. Compassion is only helpful when the other person wants to become well. Hope this helps, G 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 What would I do? Repeat it 24/7. Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Is this the guy you are questioning if you even love him in another thread? If so, let him go because you will only add to his insecurities. G Link to post Share on other sites
Strahatmak Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 If he needs to ensure it once in a while, it's not a problem; I would've do the same once in a while either. Your guy reminds me of my clingy ex. He recited "I love you" a few times to me every day, and obviously expected me to do the same. The conclusion from my friends is all the same: he's really low in self esteem, and that led to trusting issue, which led to more serious issues in our relationship. Get a therapist for him. Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Is this the guy you are questioning if you even love him in another thread? If so, let him go because you will only add to his insecurities. G Hmmm - OK so you DONT actually love the guy? Maybe that's the root of his insecurities. You say "he should already know my answer" but you admit you don't love him - which is it? If you don't love him, stop wasting yours and his time and move on. You are most definitely not helping him staying with him out of pity, or whatever reason you do, Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Also,is this thread about being too untidy to date also about him? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/self-improvement-personal-well-being/545273-not-very-tidy If you want to break up, then just do it. Link to post Share on other sites
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