Does this make sense?

[Mischa101]

Let's say you express a vulnerability to the wrong person. Their goal is to keep you down and get you thinking less of yourself. Once you've expressed that vulnerability, there is no taking it back. that person can use it forever and throw it in your face whenever. If that person succeeds in getting you to do something you don't want to do by using that vulnerability against you, it proves that that vulnerability is true. Then in your mind and in theirs, you are that vulnerability. It could be poor, ugly, etc.

[Jacob_Duluoz]

Define vulnerability. Can you change your vulnerabilities or are they forever stamped in your mind and acted out as a direct result with no willpower acting upon them? If you are poor, can you become rich? If you are ugly, can you become beautiful? Does perception matter? If you don't care about your vulnerability, then is it really a vulnerability?

 

*smoking smilie*

[casey.lives]

expressing vulnerability and being violated are two different things!!

[Mischa101]

expressing vulnerability and being violated are two different things!!

 

being violated?

[ExpatInItaly]

being violated?

 

When that other person uses the vulnerability against you and manipulates you into doing something to play on your weak point.

 

That's a major violation of a healthy boundary and emotional well-being.

[Mischa101]

When that other person uses the vulnerability against you and manipulates you into doing something to play on your weak point.

 

That's a major violation of a healthy boundary and emotional well-being.

 

yes very very true.

 

and there is nothing you can do about it unfortunately

[TaraMaiden2]

yes very very true.

 

and there is nothing you can do about it unfortunately

 

Untrue.

Have you never heard the word 'no'...?

 

Have you ever heard the phrase, "You teach people how to treat you?"

 

Have you never heard "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent"...?

 

If they do it, it's because you let them.

 

Just say no, stop it, and don't let them.

 

Sorry to be so clinical, but you're actually being quite vague....

 

Unless we have specifics, we can't really address such an issue more precisely.

[candie13]

yes very very true.

 

and there is nothing you can do about it unfortunately

 

yes, there is. you can work on yourself and become a better person. You can accept and embrace your vulnerability, work on it so that is becomes your strength instead of your weakness. You can use it to identify and eliminate people who will try to use it against you, because those people are toxic.

 

You are immediately accepting the "victim" position. You are only a victim if you agree to being a victim. You can be vulnerable and yet not allow other people to hurt you. You can protect yourself. You can fight back.

 

And most importantly, it's not the other person doing things to you or making you do things, it is YOU. Your choices. Your actions. You are your own master. Whatever happens is your responsibility.

[mrldii]

Even without knowing the details, in this hypothetical situation I would at the very least remove or limit my immediate exposure to said person who plays on the vulnerabilities I shared with someone I thought I could trust.

 

This would include family members with whom I have 'no choice' but to be associated. If said person was a potential love partner, they'd be cut out of my life in a nanosecond.

[Gaeta]

Let's say you express a vulnerability to the wrong person. Their goal is to keep you down and get you thinking less of yourself. Once you've expressed that vulnerability, there is no taking it back. that person can use it forever and throw it in your face whenever. If that person succeeds in getting you to do something you don't want to do by using that vulnerability against you, it proves that that vulnerability is true. Then in your mind and in theirs, you are that vulnerability. It could be poor, ugly, etc.

 

This is the dating section so I imagine you have expressed a vulnerability to a man you are seeing or interested in.

 

If I expressed a vulnerability to a man and he used it against me our association would immediately end there. I don't need those kinds of people in my life. The world is full of men, I don't have to stick around the bad ones.