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Should I Be Worried He Has Not Texted in a Week?


RachyB

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Hello everyone! To cut a long story short, I have been very casually seeing a man who has been chasing me for awhile and last Friday night we slept together. It was amazing. We spent hours together just drinking and talking about life and he is wonderful in so many ways. Anyway, the following evening he sent me a text that read: "Hey hope you had an awesome day at work! Let me know when you are free next and we will do something?"

 

As he is away with work quite regularly (he works away for one to two week blocks, then comes back and the cycle continues) I replied with: "Work was alright actually. I hope your day has improved as you seemed to be struggling this morning ha! How about you let me know when you are free considering you are travelling half the country all of the time and then we can do something?" :) Don't judge me I am not a great texter! Anyway, nothing since! He is not the type of guy who is glued to his phone and he has actually told me not to get offended that he is not a brilliant technological communicator. We have even laughed together at how hopeless both of us can be with words lol.

 

I just don't know what to do!? It sounds promising and not promising at the same time? Do I give it more time? Do I text first? Do I give up? Do I live my life and stop being such a stress head? Please help! I really like him. He is different to other men I have known, very calm and open to new experiences, a gentleman and a brilliant listener. He fascinates me a bit.

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That is a really good idea! I guess I am scared of coming across clingy, but it is not like we even talk every day or I am constantly harassing him via phone or anything.

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I would not ask him out....IMO, if we're interested, he would be contacting you .....especially now, after you just had sex for the first time.

 

This is NOT the time to be chasing him..

 

A man's behavior AFTER first time sex is really important and not to be ignored.

 

He had no problem chasing you before sex, but now after sex, after one quick text the following day, you hearing nothing from him for an entire week?

 

Sweetie, he is not waiting for you to ask him out. If he were still interested, he would not be able to wait to see you again and/or talk to you .... and would have contacted you.

 

Not ignored you for a week, please.

 

It sounds to me like he enjoyed the chase (before sex), but now after the sex, after his goal gas been accomplished (sex), not so much.

 

If it were me, I would not EXPECT to hear from again and go about my life.

 

Start meeting and dating other guys.

 

If this guy wants to see you again (and if he does make sure it's not just for sex,), he knows where to find you.

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fitnessfan365
I would not ask him out....IMO, if we're interested, he would be contacting you .....especially now, after you just had sex for the first time.

 

He actually did contact her the next day and even asked when she was free next to do something. But instead of doing that, she responds basically telling him to let her know instead.

 

Now personally, this would've rubbed me the wrong way. I'd be thinking "Seriously? She's never reached out to me once, and even now after we've finally had sex and I show her I'm still interested, she's still acting aloof on me?" I'm guessing it had the same effect on him too. Since he's had to always reach out to her, it comes off like yet another hoop he has to jump through. My advice OP? Stop playing games and fight to keep this guy you claim to really like in your life by reaching out first for once.

Edited by fitnessfan365
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Okay RachyB, reach out and ask him out.

 

Be sure to get back to us and let us know how it worked out...

 

Warning ......don't be surprised if he's "busy" ....if he even responds at all.

 

Like I said, IMO if he were interested, he would NOT be ignoring you for a week...especially after first time sex. No brainer!

 

And if he is that much of a wimp to be put off because you, in a teasing and playful way, suggest he get back to you since HE is the one who is gone all the time, then why would you want a guy like that anyway?

 

We like strong, take charge confident men, not little babies who want women to chase them.

 

Good luck.

Edited by katiegrl
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fitnessfan365
Okay RachyB, reach out and ask him out.

 

Be sure to get back to us and let us know how it worked out...

 

Warning ......don't be surprised if he's "busy" ....if he even responds at all.

 

Good luck.

 

Well at this point, I can't say that I blame him Katie. How she acted would turn a lot of guys off IMO.

 

I mean he contacts her the next day and asks when she's free to get together again. Then she basically says that it's on him to let her know when he's free instead. After that, she goes back to being aloof per usual and expects him to still do all the chasing. This is one thing I'll never get about women. She openly admits how much she likes the guy and that she considers him to be a stand out. Yet she won't make the tiniest bit of effort to show it.

 

**BTW - Just recently you made a post towards another woman on here saying that a guy will most likely disappear if he does all the work and a woman never reaches out first once. She admits that she's never contacted him first once at all the whole time. So you don't think it's possible that he finally got fed up?

Edited by fitnessfan365
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I just updated my post no. 7.

 

That's my opinion, and I'm sticking to it.

 

I hope I am wrong, and do hope it works out for you though RachyB.

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Well at this point, I can't say that I blame him Katie. How she acted would turn a lot of guys off IMO.

 

I mean he contacts her the next day and asks when she's free to get together again. Then she basically says that it's on him to let her know when he's free instead. After that, she goes back to being aloof per usual and expects him to still do all the chasing. This is one thing I'll never get about women. She openly admits how much she likes the guy and that she considers him to be a stand out. Yet she won't make the tiniest bit of effort to show it.

 

**BTW - Just recently you made a post towards another woman on here saying that a guy will most likely disappear if he does all the work and a woman never reaches out first once. She admits that she's never contacted him first once at all the whole time. So you don't think it's possible that he finally got fed up?

 

That other poster had been in a relationship with the guy for three plus months. Not once did she ever initiate anything.

 

RachyB how long have you been seeing him? You said "awhile" so we don't know.

 

In any event, you just had first time sex with the guy....and except for that one text the following evening, to which you responded in a teasing and playful way, he has disappeared.

 

What does this tell you? That he wants you to chase him?

 

Perhaps, but doubtful IMO.

 

But do whatever you are comfortable with...

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fitnessfan365
I just updated my post no. 7.

 

That's my opinion, and I'm sticking to it.

 

You're not being consistent w-your opinion though. Just the other day you told another female poster on here that if a guy has to do all the work, he'll eventually get sick of it. She's admitted that she's never contacted him first once. She still continues to act aloof even after they had sex and he reached out the next day w-a date invite to show he was still interested.

 

*** ETA - Just saw your post above. We posted at the same time.

 

We like strong, take charge confident men, not little babies who want women to chase them.

 

That's just it though. He did reach out the very next day and asked her out again. So he displayed confidence. But in that moment when he made himself vulnerable after sex, and she still pulled the same aloof crap, I'm guessing he finally got fed up.

Edited by fitnessfan365
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You're not being consistent w-your opinion though. Just the other day you told another female poster on here that if a guy has to do all the work, he'll eventually get sick of it. She's admitted that she's never contacted him first once. She still continues to act aloof even after they had sex and he reached out the next day w-a date invite to show he was still interested.

 

*** ETA - Just saw your post above. We posted at the same time.

 

 

 

That's just it though. He did reach out the very next day and ask her out again. So he displayed confidence. But in that moment when he made himself vulnerable after sex, and she still pulled the same aloof crap,

 

***I'm guessing he finally got fed up.***

 

Well my "guess" is that he got sex, and now the *chase* is over and he's moving on.

 

Also, that other poster's boyfriend told her many many times over the couse of THREE months he wanted her to reach out to him. Time and time again, he expressed that to her.

 

And she STILL never did!

 

What did this guy do?

 

He chased her aggressively until they had sex, and now he's disappeared. Heelloooo....

 

Oh sure, he did his duty by texting her the following evening. Did he ask her out again! No. He asks her to let him know when she is free, even though HE is the one who is traveling and will be gone. To which she responded in a playful and teasing way.

 

Stop comparing that other poster's situation to this . ..it is completely different.

 

Anyhoo, I have said my piece. Agree to disagree.

Edited by katiegrl
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fitnessfan365
He chased her aggressively until they had sex, and now he's disappeared. Heelloooo....

 

Oh sure, he did his duty by texting her the following evening. Did he ask her out again! No. He asks her to let him know when she is free, even though HE is the one who is traveling and will be gone.

 

Stop comparing that other sister's situation to this . ..it is completely different.

 

1) He disappeared after she continued to act aloof and play the same hard to get games she always had even after they had sex and he followed up the next day.

 

2) In both cases, these are women that never initiate whatsoever. I fail to see how that's different.

 

3) He contacts her the next day, asks when she's free to get together, and you don't consider that asking her out again? Personally, that's how I've always asked women out. It's better to ask a woman when she's free and to allow her to give options out of respect for her schedule, then trying to lock her into a specific day IMO. But in the end, I think we're just getting caught up in semantics.

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1) He disappeared after she continued to act aloof and play the same hard to get games she always had even after they had sex and he followed up the next day.

 

2) In both cases, these are women that never initiate whatsoever. I fail to see how that's different.

 

3) He contacts her the next day, asks when she's free to get together, and you don't consider that asking her out again? Personally, that's how I've always asked women out. It's better to ask a woman when she's free and to allow her to give options out of respect for her schedule, then trying to lock her into a specific day IMO.

 

 

***But in the end, I think we're just getting caught up in semantics***.

 

No I just think we have a different opinion.

 

Which I am perfectly okay with.

 

If you aren't and wanted to continue arguing, feel free. I just won't be responding.

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How about you let me know when you are free considering you are travelling half the country all of the time and then we can do something?"

 

She didn't turn the table on him so he chase her even harder, she did that to be convenient to him, I don't think he interpreted it as she's playing hard to get.

 

I would like to know how far he travels for work, is he in a remote area, what type of work he does. If he works in Antarctic as a scientist of course it's normal to not hear from him when he's gone. If he's trucking for 2 weeks than he has no excuse for letting that last text unanswered.

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She didn't turn the table on him so he chase her even harder, she did that to be convenient to him, I don't think he interpreted it as she's playing hard to get.

 

I would like to know how far he travels for work, is he in a remote area, what type of work he does. If he works in Antarctic as a scientist of course it's normal to not hear from him when he's gone. If he's trucking for 2 weeks than he has no excuse for letting that last text unanswered.

 

Of course Gaeta... I agree.

 

And to fitnessfan, IF he got "fed up" (and there is ZERO evidence indicating that he did, other than your own projection) .. he picked a hell of a time to do so, right after FIRST time sex.....sheesh.

Edited by katiegrl
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fitnessfan365
And to fitnessfan, IF he got "fed up" (and there is ZERO evidence indicating that he did, other than your own projection) .. he picked a hell of a time to do so, right after FIRST time sex.....sheesh.

 

That's just it though. He didn't disappear after sex. He got in touch the next day and even asked her out again. What's happening now seems like more of a reaction to how she handled things IMO.

 

I know the general consensus is that women are the vulnerable ones after sex. But a guy has to make himself equally vulnerable. I mean here is a woman he endlessly pursued. They finally had sex. He puts himself out there the next day to ask her out again. Then instead of confirming plans w-him, she skates around the invite basically saying to chase her once again, and goes back to acting aloof like she always has never initiating anything. So he's left feeling like she basically rejected him and not knowing where he stands w-her.

 

If she likes him as much as she claims, she should be able to fight for the guy a bit since he's done everything up until this point.

Edited by fitnessfan365
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I agree with FitnessFan365, that response would have annoyed me especially when I was trying to set up the next date.

 

I have gotten to the point in the past where I was dating a girl and I just felt she wasn't interested enough as she didn't make an attempt to set up dates or contact me so I just stopped contacting her. Never heard from her again. Maybe she thought I went "ghost" but a girl shouldn't expect to just wait and be pursued always especially with a direct question like that.

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Just be you. If you like him, and he likes you, texting him first will not push him away. If it does, he's probably looking for a fling type of relationship. I wouldn't suggest blowing him up or expecting an imidiate response back. however, if he goes a day without getting back to you, I think that explains where this relationship is on his priority list. Everybody checks their phones regularly throughout the day, especially when they are interested in getting to know a new person.

 

That's just my opinion. Hooe things works out for you with him!

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That's just it though. He didn't disappear after sex. He got in touch the next day and even asked her out again. What's happening now seems like more of a reaction to how she handled things IMO.

 

I know the general consensus is that women are the vulnerable ones after sex. But a guy has to make himself equally vulnerable. I mean here is a woman he endlessly pursued. They finally had sex. He puts himself out there the next day to ask her out again. Then instead of confirming plans w-him, she skates around the invite basically saying to chase her once again, and goes back to acting aloof like she always has never initiating anything. So he's left feeling like she basically rejected him and not knowing where he stands w-her.

 

If she likes him as much as she claims, she should be able to fight for the guy a bit since he's done everything up until this point.

 

That is your interpretation, mine is different.

 

How did he ask her out again? By asking her when she is free?

 

I'm confused. Aren't you peeps ALWAYS saying to be direct? With a specific day and time?

 

Okay, so she tells him what days she's free, then what? He is traveling remember, so at that point, she still has to wait until he checks to see if HE is free.

 

I think the way she responded back was fine. Since HE is traveling, she asked that he let her know what days he is free, and then SHE can pick a day she is also free, and they can do something..

 

*****He has NOT responded to that text. It's been one week.*****

 

Why not? Why not let her know his schedule? THEN, when she knows when he is gonna be around, she can pick a day she is free, and they can plan something together.

 

How is that demanding that he chase her? I am not getting your rationale there.

 

And where and how is she being aloof? Where in her post did she display an aloof attitude?

 

How do you know she never initiated any texts? She did not say either way.

 

All she said was that he chased her, which means he has been pursuing her. Now that they have had sex, other than that one text asking when she is free, to which she responded as explained above, which was fine imo....he has STOPPED pursuing her.

 

NEVER responded back to her text asking him to let her know his schedule so she can pick a day and they can plan something.

 

If he got turned off because she did not respond with precise dates because HE is traveling and she did not know his schedule, but STILL letting him know she would still love to get together when he returns, then he is a complete wimp.

 

Come on now. Please.

 

In any event, RachyB ask him out. You like him, you are uncertain about his feelings, then take a risk. All he can say is no, he's busy and then continue fading.

 

At least then you won't be questioning anything.

 

And maybe I am wrong and he will say yes! But again, if he does, if at all possible, make sure he is just not saying yes for the sex, now that you have had sex.

 

Good luck!

Edited by katiegrl
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Text him. Ask how he is and say your looking forward to getting together and free on X day if suits.

 

You're over thinking things. He's keen and your messing up.

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Text him. Ask how he is and say your looking forward to getting together and free on X day if suits.

 

You're over thinking things. He's keen and your messing up.

 

Yes please do this....I am dying to find out how this all turns out!!!! :bunny::bunny:

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Her thread starts with they've been dating for a while. OP, how long is 'a while'?

 

If you date someone for 'a while' and you've been intimate seems to me there is no more need of chasing each other. You should initiate contact at this point really.

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Her thread starts with they've been dating for a while. OP, how long is 'a while'?

 

If you date someone for 'a while' and you've been intimate seems to me there is no more need of chasing each other. You should initiate contact at this point really.

 

RachyB would you please come back and clarify these things for us?

 

How long have you been dating?

 

Have you ever initiated any texts or calls and dates?

 

Have you texted him like we have suggested, asking him out or just asking how he is doing? Just out of genuine concern if nothing else, it has been a week.

 

I am still on the fence about this guy though....not sure what his MO is ...but nothing ventured nothing gained.

 

Please respond and update us after you contact him.

 

Thanks and again good luck!

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