UntitledNotepad Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Hey Guys, So I've been seeing this girl a bit, and out of the blue she puts a restraining order out on me. I know she still likes me, but I think she is just trying to play 'hard to get'. And her friends think im a bit psycho, but I'm obviously not because im dating a really hot girl. Here's the problem, after our first date, I said "oh hey so lets go to the beach next saturday morning" and she said "sounds fun ill check my schedule". Well, its been a week and tomorrow was the "beach day", so...im gonna go into her place and pick her up, but because of the restraining order, how am I supposed to drive her and kiss her and stuff? I mean...you can't do much when you are staying 100ft away! What should I do? Should i just ignore the judge's rules and still go out with her? I mean like, i doubt i would go to jail again or anything... What do you guys think? Thanks! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 I think there is a very big part of the story you are not telling. Last time I checked they don't give restraining orders willy-nilly to anyone who asks. I think there are social cues you are clearly not getting and she is not playing hard to get. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Country_Girl Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 (edited) You said you doubt you'd go to jail "again". What were you in for before? Why would you pursue someone that has a restraining order on you? Why do you think she likes you, despite the restraining order? I think legal action is pretty clear on feelings. You said you've been dating this girl for "a bit" but only mentioned 1 date. So she met you once and already has a restraining order? Please clarify Edited August 29, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator This has to be a troll post... - redacted Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I would suggest members go back and read the thread starter's threads before any further folks risk their posting privileges by not adding topical content but rather calling the thread starter a troll. Standard sanction for calling someone a troll is immediate cessation of posting privileges. I'll come back later and deal with that part. For now I just don't want anyone else piling on and getting a vacation. So, you've got three choices: 1. Address the topic 2. Advise moderation of any suspected violations of LoveShack.org guidelines via 'alert us' 3. Move on Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Hey Guys, So I've been seeing this girl a bit, and out of the blue she puts a restraining order out on me. I know she still likes me, but I think she is just trying to play 'hard to get'. And her friends think im a bit psycho, but I'm obviously not because im dating a really hot girl. Here's the problem, after our first date, I said "oh hey so lets go to the beach next saturday morning" and she said "sounds fun ill check my schedule". Well, its been a week and tomorrow was the "beach day", so...im gonna go into her place and pick her up, but because of the restraining order, how am I supposed to drive her and kiss her and stuff? I mean...you can't do much when you are staying 100ft away! What should I do? Should i just ignore the judge's rules and still go out with her? I mean like, i doubt i would go to jail again or anything... What do you guys think? Thanks! OP, please don't go to her place tomorrow.... violating a restraining order IS very serious ...and yes you will be arrested and thrown in jail if you violate. I work in the legal field, so I know. Also, restraining orders are not issued lightly, the court needs a legit reason and evidence to issue them... So what happened? Why did she feel she needed a restraining order against you? We're you served? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author UntitledNotepad Posted August 29, 2015 Author Share Posted August 29, 2015 She just kept giving me exclusively positive feedback...but with negative "hints". For example, agreeing to a date but cancelling, replying positively to a message after ignoring it for 3 days, saying hi in person but then avoiding me. Like...wtf. Maybe she issued the restraining order because I transferred to her college? (which I did 100% because it was a better college than mine, for the record) So I guess the restraining order is her final way of nullifying all her other positive feedback? Seems kinda cruel and very roundabout....wish she would have just said "you're a cool guy Matt, but I just don't see this going anywhere". If that happened, I would have left her alone 100%. But instead, she ****ed with my brain and kept dropping positive hints..... And no, I'm not the one who needs help, she needs to learn how to not lead on guys for months only to act surprised when they fall for the bait. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UntitledNotepad Posted August 29, 2015 Author Share Posted August 29, 2015 (edited) What were you in for before? Narcotics...NOT stalking like I'm sure all of you [redacted] assumed. Edited August 29, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 So I guess the restraining order is her final way of nullifying all her other positive feedback? Yes. Maybe think back on how you interpreted things and alternate possible interpretations. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UntitledNotepad Posted August 29, 2015 Author Share Posted August 29, 2015 Yeah...i mean dang i guess i really CANT date her. It's impossible with the restraining order. Stupid judge. He's just jealous. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 She just kept giving me exclusively positive feedback...but with negative "hints". For example, agreeing to a date but cancelling, replying positively to a message after ignoring it for 3 days, saying hi in person but then avoiding me. Like...wtf. Maybe she issued the restraining order because I transferred to her college? (which I did 100% because it was a better college than mine, for the record) So I guess the restraining order is her final way of nullifying all her other positive feedback? Seems kinda cruel and very roundabout....wish she would have just said "you're a cool guy Matt, but I just don't see this going anywhere". If that happened, I would have left her alone 100%. But instead, she ****ed with my brain and kept dropping positive hints..... And no, I'm not the one who needs help, she needs to learn how to not lead on guys for months only to act surprised when they fall for the bait. I am not getting this ...a judge will not issue a restraining order because some chick doesn't want to date a guy anymore. That is ludicrous! There has to be a direct threat made ...did you threaten her at all? And why do her friends think you are psycho? None of this is making sense .....were you personally served with the order? What does it say? Link to post Share on other sites
Author UntitledNotepad Posted August 29, 2015 Author Share Posted August 29, 2015 I am not getting this ...a judge will not issue a restraining order because some chick doesn't want to date a guy anymore. That is ludicrous! There has to be a direct threat made ...did you threaten her at all? And why do her friends think you are psycho? None of this is making sense .....were you personally served with the order? What does it say? She just said "sorry but the judge made me give you a restraining order"....and honestly, I can't think of anything I did. I mean I text her a lot, and she rarely replies. I saw her on campus and she kind of just walked away and rolled her eyes. Honestly, I'm starting to get just pissed off with her...and not like her anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
kilgore Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Maybe it is best to leave her alone Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Hey Guys, So I've been seeing this girl a bit, and out of the blue she puts a restraining order out on me. I know she still likes me, but I think she is just trying to play 'hard to get'. And her friends think im a bit psycho, but I'm obviously not because im dating a really hot girl. Okay. How long is a bit? You can't just walk down to the police station and put a restraining order on someone for no reason. You have to have some sort of proof or reasonable belief that someone is going to do harm to you. I cannot say that I know or have ever met a single woman that would put a restraining order on a man as a game to play 'hard to get.' Why exactly do her friends think you are psycho? And since when is not being a psycho directly related to the hotness of the girl you are dating? Is there scientific research to prove this? Moving on... Here's the problem, after our first date, I said "oh hey so lets go to the beach next saturday morning" and she said "sounds fun ill check my schedule". Well, its been a week and tomorrow was the "beach day", so...im gonna go into her place and pick her up, but because of the restraining order, how am I supposed to drive her and kiss her and stuff? I mean...you can't do much when you are staying 100ft away! So did she ever get back to you about checking her schedule? I think the restraining order tells you she might be busy that day. I am also going to assume that the restraining order of 100ft away will answer your question of how you're supposed to kiss her. You're not. At least not within 100ft. What should I do? Should i just ignore the judge's rules and still go out with her? I mean like, i doubt i would go to jail again or anything... What do you guys think? Thanks! When is it EVER a good idea to ignore a judge's rules? Like when has that ever turned out okay for anyone? You doubt you would go to jail, but you're willing to risk it or a second date? I have a lot of questions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Any restraining order after this short time would almost certainly be temporary only. You have time to get an attorney and oppose making the RO permanent. Obey the RO for now, until/unless it expires or is vacated. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 (edited) She just said "sorry but the judge made me give you a restraining order"....and honestly, I can't think of anything I did. I mean I text her a lot, and she rarely replies. I saw her on campus and she kind of just walked away and rolled her eyes. Honestly, I'm starting to get just pissed off with her...and not like her anymore. I think she is [lying to] you. The abused person CANNOT serve her abuser with a restraining order....that is also ludicrous. The sheriff, a licensed process server...or as a last resort a friend can serve it, but NOT the abused person. She is bs'ing you. Stay away from her, she is messing with you dude. Edited August 29, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Author UntitledNotepad Posted August 29, 2015 Author Share Posted August 29, 2015 Maybe she lied about the restraining order? I never actually got a paper from the court, she just told me that she was sorry but she had to put a RO on me. And I know her friends think im weird because she told me her friends do. I never met her friends. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Maybe she lied about the restraining order? I never actually got a paper from the court, she just told me that she was sorry but she had to put a RO on me. And I know her friends think im weird because she told me her friends do. I never met her friends. Yes she is lying, there IS no such order. If there were, the sheriff or a process server would come to your home and personally serve it on you. Stay away from her!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author UntitledNotepad Posted August 29, 2015 Author Share Posted August 29, 2015 (edited) I think she is[lying to]you. The abused person CANNOT serve her abuser with a restraining order....that is also ludicrous. The sheriff, a licensed process server...or as a last resort a friend can serve it, but NOT the abused person. She is bs'ing you. Stay away from her, she is messing with you dude. Ok, yeah I guess she is BSing me...my only last question...WHY?!? why not just say "shut up leave me alone"? Edited August 29, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 (edited) I dunno, I am thinking maybe SHE is the psycho one! Edited August 29, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Author UntitledNotepad Posted August 29, 2015 Author Share Posted August 29, 2015 Can I put a real restraining order on her? That would be pretty funny and ironic, and would be a good way to break up. Link to post Share on other sites
kilgore Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I don't thin restraining orders are a laughing matter 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author UntitledNotepad Posted August 29, 2015 Author Share Posted August 29, 2015 I don't thin restraining orders are a laughing matter They are not that big a deal...I've had a few before and no one cares. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I don't thin restraining orders are a laughing matter He deserves a good laugh at this point. It must have been quite scary to think you have an RO against you, only to find it was all a big lie... Huge relief I would imagine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kilgore Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Ohhhhi somehow missed that Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 They are not that big a deal...I've had a few before and no one cares. So wait, someone fearing you being close to them to cause them harm is no big deal? Who is no one? Is the person that went to the police station to report you as a potential threat no one? Did the police not care when you violated it? What about the judge? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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