Sunberry Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 I ask because I'm (surprisingly) starting to have feelings for this guy and he recently broke up with one of my friends about a couple to few months back. I'm not very close to her but close enough to where I'll ask how her day is, we'll joke about stuff every now and then, and talk about our opinions. There hasn't been a lot of that lately due to our busy schedules, so a simple hi to each other every now is then happens. I was advised that if something happens the best thing to do would be to talk to her about it and see how she feels. Though, I'm scared--I would never jepordize a friendship over a guy. I don't want to be rude and I really don't want our relationship to be awkward afterwards (avoiding each other and stuff) or be deemed as a rude bitch because of it. I'm pretty sure there's some innane girl code for this... Just a question... Link to post Share on other sites
Qboro90 Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Tough to answer. Usually it's a no no because of the respect you have for your friends. Is this girl really a friend of yours or just an aquaintence tho? There's a huge difference. If you can honestly say that in 2-3 years or once you finish school you'd never hang out with this girl or be in contact with her then she's really not a friend and you can proceed with this guy. If however she's someone you'll have to see and hang out with the rest of this year and going forward often or is close with your circle of friends then the classy thing to do is wait until she starts seeing someone else before you try to do anything with this guy Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Generally you should bring it up with her and get her approval. How were you with him when they were a couple? Outside of knowing him did you socialize with him much??? If the reason they ended was she thought he was cheatingr it was difficult on her......so you dating him could undermine her trust level. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Otter2569 Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Definitely ask your friend about it. I dated a girl and even though I was going to break up with her I found out that a sort of friend was hitting on her. Once we were done he swooped in. He hit on another GF of mine too. It was obvious to me but not so to others: overly nice to her at parties, jokes in front of her and me at my expense, friending her on FB and chatting her up. If he asked in the first instanced I would have cared less. He is ever known to me as "Chuck the Weasel" and I dont trust that F at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sunberry Posted August 28, 2015 Author Share Posted August 28, 2015 Generally you should bring it up with her and get her approval. How were you with him when they were a couple? Outside of knowing him did you socialize with him much??? If the reason they ended was she thought he was cheatingr it was difficult on her......so you dating him could undermine her trust level. In all honesty, I started liking him a bit before they dated. But I stopped having any interest in him once I had a large intuition that he was interested in someone else. Couple weeks later I find out he was dating my friend. I simply congratualted them both and continued my friendship with them both as if nothing happened. Once the summer hit I lost contact with them. I don't even know why they broke up but it surprised the hell out of me because the last time I saw them they were really close. Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 I think most girls would be mad if you date their ex bfs. Even though I really think it's selfish on their part. If it was me, I would tell her about me and the guy (after we already get together. If it's simply me having a crush I wouldn't say anything). That is enough respect for her. But I wouldn't be asking for her approval. No one gets to decide how I live my life. If she doesn't approve, well too bad. Find a new friend. Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 I am against doing that... I think it's disrespectful to be honest. I am not conservative in many areas but this is one I am. Mainly if it's recent and feelings still linger from any part, or if it was a really important boyfriend to them. For me, personally, it's a no no. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cessna Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 He's single, you're single, it's none of your friends business. Link to post Share on other sites
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