Jump to content

I need your stories?


Brooke42

Recommended Posts

Earlier I posted a question about a guy I had been dating casually who ended things without very good reasons. I'm at a really bad place in my life, he brought happiness to it, and this has only put me in a hole that I'm not sure I can make it out of.

My question is, what was your biggest heartbreak and how did you get over it? How do you think you get over someone, especially when you've hit rock bottom and see no way out? Right now I'm drenched in tears with my phone beside me and no conversation to have with him. No one to talk about my day with, not hearing about his day, not making plans for the weekend. Nothing. It's so weird to not see his name on my phone or for him to call me just to hear my voice. It doesn't feel right. It feels like something is missing.

What was your hardest situation and how did you overcome it? Do you have any advice for me? Maybe even about lost love working out?

I just need some hope and advice right now. Things are pretty bad for me. No relationships work out, and even though I'm in my 20's I feel like I'll be alone forever.

Any advice/ stories? Something to make this hurt less?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Time. I know it is a cliche, but time helps.

 

This is the time to lean on your girlfriends.

 

You don't need a man to be happy.

 

This is the time for you to have some "me" time and do exactly what you want. That you can afford and is legal!

 

Are you able to plan a getaway? Are you able to take a long weekend and go somewhere? I don't know where you live, but if in the U.S. most airports and larger cities have cheap flights and cheap safe lodging. Throw yourself into planning whatever you can afford.

 

Or throw yourself into planning your dream vacation around your country or the world. That can be a great project as you plot your itinerary, places to stay, places to see and where to eat.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly

My biggest heartbreak?

 

He passed away suddenly. Time, my friends and family, talking to people and professional guidance helped. I will never fully overcome that, but I have come a very long way.

 

My second-biggest?

 

We broke up after nearly 8 years together, 6.5 of those living together. There was a betrayal, which I only confirmed after the break-up. Knowing I would be fine again someday helped, as did entirely focusing on me and my goals for the future.

 

I am concerned that you are so torn up about this guy, given that you only had 2 dates. I feel, in all kindness, that you need to work on your self-esteem and self-worth and not attach your value to a guy. Especially one you don't know very well. You will be okay again. Now is a great time to learn about yourself and what you want, and get yourself to a healthy place. Good luck to you, girl..

Link to post
Share on other sites
mystikmind2005

Oh wow, i so hugely can identify with this part (but a her instead of a him);

 

"Right now I'm drenched in tears with my phone beside me and no conversation to have with him. No one to talk about my day with, not hearing about his day, not making plans for the weekend. Nothing. It's so weird to not see his name on my phone or for him to call me just to hear my voice. It doesn't feel right. It feels like something is missing."

 

Honestly, can i put that on a greeting card and make millions of dollars because of all the millions of people in the world that can identify with this feeling? You just worded it so perfectly, wow :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

My biggest heartbreak was breaking up with one of my ex on my term, when we were still deeply in love with each other but we were having a really unhealthy and abusive relationship due to his PD. It took me half a year. All the move on advices come to one conclusion: you don't need to depend on anybody to be happy, you don't need to be upset because of anybody.

 

You were only dating a new guy. He's a jerk, you are really upset. It's fine. Just live your life and you will get over him. He's not treating you right and you shouldn't be upset for long. Go to your friends, rant on him, get a few drinks, make hour weekend plans.

 

I recently ended a dating on my term, too. That guy is a doughebag as well. He is just a boy who only signs up for fun, but refuses to give certain level of caring and support as a man. He just fell right asleep (or pretend to) in the middle of our text when i've already told him I was very upset and needed his support at that moment. He could totally tell me he needed to rest before went disappearing, and acted like a normal, responsible person. At that moment, his zero of caring for the entire dating made me stressful and insecure all came to my mind. I was just a fifth or sixth on his timetable, so I didn't see how this date was going to work out if he wasn't care a ***** to put more effort. I decided to end this because he was simply not making me happy. Simple as that.

 

All those guys only looking for fun, dating around to pick and choose, please avoid "neediness" and do not ask for more attention stuffs etc etc, are huge mistakes and wrong concepts. Those guys are jerks, period. They want to do the minimal or even zero investment and want benefits out of their partners. They want women to fill in their own timetables without a complaint. They think initiate a caring is asking for too much. They want women to adjust to their ways but they will never adjust for women. A real man who looks for serious relationship will give you more caring, will not go disappear, will not let you stress or guess, will make time for you and will prioritize you at least you would not feel like you are just for him to kill his time, and will adjust what he can give you within their comfortable boundary. I am not sure if OLD is like that, but at least not the case when a number of guy friends were telling me to look for a sincere guy. Maybe I was a traditional person so my friends are mostly tend to be more traditional.

 

Next time, look for a more serious man. I am not saying you do have your issue to fix and not to adjust it. Talk to your girl friends or close guy friends. Let them give you advices on your future dating.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

My biggest heartbreak was breaking up with one of my ex on my term, when we were still deeply in love with each other but we were having a really unhealthy and abusive relationship due to his PD. It took me half a year. All the move on advices come to one conclusion: you don't need to depend on anybody to be happy, you don't need to be upset because of anybody.

 

You were only dating a new guy. He's a jerk, you are really upset. It's fine. Just live your life and you will get over him. He's not treating you right and you shouldn't be upset for long. Go to your friends, rant on him, get a few drinks, make hour weekend plans.

 

I recently ended a dating on my term, too. That guy is a doughebag as well. He is just a boy who only signs up for fun, but refuses to give certain level of caring and support as a man. He just fell right asleep (or pretend to) in the middle of our text when i've already told him I was very upset and needed his support at that moment. He could totally tell me he needed to rest before went disappearing, and acted like a normal, responsible person. At that moment, his zero of caring for the entire dating made me stressful and insecure all came to my mind. I was just a fifth or sixth on his timetable, so I didn't see how this date was going to work out if he wasn't care a ***** to put more effort. I decided to end this because he was simply not making me happy. Simple as that.

 

All those guys only looking for fun, dating around to pick and choose, please avoid "neediness" and do not ask for more attention stuffs etc etc, are huge mistakes and wrong concepts. Those guys are jerks, period. They want to do the minimal or even zero investment and want benefits out of their partners. They want women to fill in their own timetables without a complaint. They think initiate a caring is asking for too much. They want women to adjust to their ways but they will never adjust for women. A real man who looks for serious relationship will give you more caring, will not go disappear, will not let you stress or guess, will make time for you and will prioritize you at least you would not feel like you are just for him to kill his time, and will adjust what he can give you within their comfortable boundary. I am not sure if OLD is like that, but at least not the case when a number of guy friends were telling me to look for a sincere guy. Maybe I was a traditional person so my friends are mostly tend to be more traditional.

 

Next time, look for a more serious man. I am not saying you do have your issue to fix and not to adjust it. Talk to your girl friends or close guy friends. Let them give you advices on your future dating.

Link to post
Share on other sites
mystikmind2005
My biggest heartbreak was breaking up with one of my ex on my term, when we were still deeply in love with each other but we were having a really unhealthy and abusive relationship due to his PD. It took me half a year. All the move on advices come to one conclusion: you don't need to depend on anybody to be happy, you don't need to be upset because of anybody.

 

You were only dating a new guy. He's a jerk, you are really upset. It's fine. Just live your life and you will get over him. He's not treating you right and you shouldn't be upset for long. Go to your friends, rant on him, get a few drinks, make hour weekend plans.

 

I recently ended a dating on my term, too. That guy is a doughebag as well. He is just a boy who only signs up for fun, but refuses to give certain level of caring and support as a man. He just fell right asleep (or pretend to) in the middle of our text when i've already told him I was very upset and needed his support at that moment. He could totally tell me he needed to rest before went disappearing, and acted like a normal, responsible person. At that moment, his zero of caring for the entire dating made me stressful and insecure all came to my mind. I was just a fifth or sixth on his timetable, so I didn't see how this date was going to work out if he wasn't care a ***** to put more effort. I decided to end this because he was simply not making me happy. Simple as that.

 

All those guys only looking for fun, dating around to pick and choose, please avoid "neediness" and do not ask for more attention stuffs etc etc, are huge mistakes and wrong concepts. Those guys are jerks, period. They want to do the minimal or even zero investment and want benefits out of their partners. They want women to fill in their own timetables without a complaint. They think initiate a caring is asking for too much. They want women to adjust to their ways but they will never adjust for women. A real man who looks for serious relationship will give you more caring, will not go disappear, will not let you stress or guess, will make time for you and will prioritize you at least you would not feel like you are just for him to kill his time, and will adjust what he can give you within their comfortable boundary. I am not sure if OLD is like that, but at least not the case when a number of guy friends were telling me to look for a sincere guy. Maybe I was a traditional person so my friends are mostly tend to be more traditional.

 

Next time, look for a more serious man. I am not saying you do have your issue to fix and not to adjust it. Talk to your girl friends or close guy friends. Let them give you advices on your future dating.

 

I don't know why i can identify with this so much? ... we know with men the motivation to behave this way, is immaturity, selfishness, hormones. But my question is why do women behave this way? (Wherever you put the word guys/men, i can tell the exact same story and just insert the word woman/female)

Edited by mystikmind2005
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Lasting happiness comes from within. You will have great difficulty achieving it if you continue to believe that it comes from someone else.

 

 

Everybody has had their hearts broken & survived. You will too.

 

 

Come up with a rotation of people to call to talk about your day, include friends, your parents, siblings, cousins, etc. Make sure you are connected to others. Push yourself to be busy. Stay active. You will feel better.

 

 

If you have to hide your phone from yourself so you stop staring at it, do so.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
I don't know why i can identify with this so much? ... we know with men the motivation to behave this way, is immaturity, selfishness, hormones. But my question is why do women behave this way? (Wherever you put the word guys/men, i can tell the exact same story and just insert the word woman/female)

 

Selfishness is in all human, men or women.

Though I heard a lot more immature boys then girls, just IMO. Girls usually come off being needy.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

It's just upsetting because I am a very hard person to understand so when I find someone that actually gets me, I want to hold onto them and never let go. This guy got me. He knew I liker different things, he appreciated who I was, not how I looked. That just makes it so hard.

He's in the military and told me a while back he wanted to spend as much time with me as he could before he left (he has some training thing he leaves for a few months ) and I know his breaking things off has nothing to do with that because he's had a girlfriend when he's been at war.

I just don't understand why he won't try. If I was as good as he said I was then why would he let me go? Doesn't make any sense and it's something I can't wrap my head around.

Thanks for your stories too :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
It's just upsetting because I am a very hard person to understand so when I find someone that actually gets me, I want to hold onto them and never let go.

 

Stop being a person hard to understand. You need to work on your personal and emotional development. Find a group that offers that. Work on yourself, work at being a better communicator and at overcoming your problems. Don't just go in life thinking 'OH I'm just hard to get' and think people will just have to deal with it. Change it.

 

This guy got me. He knew I liker different things, he appreciated who I was, not how I looked. That just makes it so hard.

 

 

If he appreciated who you were and 'got you' he would still be dating you.

 

He was all talk, nothing more.

 

He's in the military and told me a while back he wanted to spend as much time with me as he could before he left

 

ah ok! a military man. Well, trust me. I am an ex-military wife. He never had any serious intention toward you. That was all talk to get in your pants. He didn't now he's working his next case.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
ChicagoSparty

My biggest heartbreak was going through a divorce. It was very different from other relationships ending. I really didn't even want to be around her anymore, but when it actually ended...it was brutal.

 

Of course, it was about a lot of things other than my ex. We have young kids, and seeing how much it hurt them was devastating. The loss of the connection to her family was really hard to deal with as well. And you sign up for a life together...officially, in front of friends, family, God and the state...promising to be together for life.

 

When it ends, even if you weren't happy, it is a crushing experience. You really have to reconstruct your entire life and identity.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

This has all been really devastating for a number of reasons.

I just graduated college 4 months ago, I had a summer job working with children but when it ended I came home to live with my parents and it's been extremely hard to find a job in my degree.

I have no friends here because this is where I went to high school and all my friends have moved away, they live 2 hours or more away and right now I have no income so I have no way to go see them.

I'm very lonely and sometimes I don't leave my house for days because I have nowhere to go and nothing to do. I have no friends to call up and hang out with, I have no one to make plans with on the weekend. It's as if my life is hitting this deep hole I'll never get out of.

This guy helped me forget about how miserable I was, he gave me something to look forward to and I always had someone to talk about my day with or make weekend plans. I had a purpose in finding a job closer to him so we could see each other more. I had a goal place in mind to live.

And now all that has been taken away from me and I'm the loneliest I've ever been in my entire life. It's driving me crazy.

Link to post
Share on other sites
This has all been really devastating for a number of reasons.

I just graduated college 4 months ago, I had a summer job working with children but when it ended I came home to live with my parents and it's been extremely hard to find a job in my degree.

I have no friends here because this is where I went to high school and all my friends have moved away, they live 2 hours or more away and right now I have no income so I have no way to go see them.

I'm very lonely and sometimes I don't leave my house for days because I have nowhere to go and nothing to do. I have no friends to call up and hang out with, I have no one to make plans with on the weekend. It's as if my life is hitting this deep hole I'll never get out of.

This guy helped me forget about how miserable I was, he gave me something to look forward to and I always had someone to talk about my day with or make weekend plans. I had a purpose in finding a job closer to him so we could see each other more. I had a goal place in mind to live.

And now all that has been taken away from me and I'm the loneliest I've ever been in my entire life. It's driving me crazy.

 

Stop that miserable thought right now!

 

You can make any friend at any time and any place. Have you tried meetup? Have you tried volunteering? Have you tried community classes? Have you joined drop in sports of any kind? Your statement is just so invalid.

 

Do NOT rely on one single person in your life. Even if you are MARRIED.

 

I had a brutal relationship before. He took everything from me. EVERYTHING. Job, lives, friends. I had to move, and I had to spend not-so-small-amount of money to get out from it. I lost my emotional dependency as well. This is still nothing compare to those far more unfortunate women who got abused, according to my counselor. You were just dating a guy that you barely knew. He hasn't taken anything TANGIBLE of yours from you. You are only experiencing a loss of emotional dependency. That's all.

 

You can grief what you've lost; however, you do have issue that will make your future dating just as difficult. Focus on having a life. That will solve the majority part of your issue. Being single is not cool, I have to admit that, but relying on just one single person to define who you are is even worse.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Everyone who has been in a relationship has had heartbreak in one way or another you can't avoid that. When we open our heart to someone it gets broken sometimes.

 

But you only knew this guy for a very short time. That is way to quick for you to feel so heartbroken. This is scary really.

 

You should be excited to have accomplished graduating from college, thats a major milestone. The world is out there for you to discover. Staying in and not going anywhere is not okay.

 

Volunteer, go to meet ups, take a walk, join a gym. Get out of the house for goodness sakes.

 

Most of all go talk to a counselor or therapist. You need to work on your self esteem so you don't get so wrapped up with someone you don't even know. He probably sensed you are clingy and needy and ran for the hills. Get some help please.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

My biggest heartbreak?

 

Well, it's the one in which I'm currently living.

 

I left a relationship of 8 years two years ago. I was devastated. I realize now her and I are simply incompatible as a couple. Then, however, I felt as though the path was clear. It really wasn't I was simply content.

 

After the breakup with her taking everything and leaving me destitute I scraped by finding two jobs and a place to stay other than my car. During this time, at my now second job, I meet a girl through a mutual acquaintance whom seems so unassuming. She's small, petite, dorky in all the good ways and somehow opened up to me.

 

I was simply amazed she wanted to talk to me. I was in the mode after the breakup where I was pushing myself to change for the better. Perhaps it was working? I didn't know.

 

Every message, every sweet dreams good night would add this little pebble in this bucket in my head. One day I got home and after talking for hours with her, I put my phone down and looked up at the ceiling and said aloud to my cat "Holy ****. I love this girl."

 

I pursue her. However...things start to get more weird. All of the former signals start to get mixed. I would try to make a move and get rebuffed, only to have a coy remark about how nice it was later.

 

Things go on, eventually I ask her out, she says no. Citing the classic "Not looking for anything. Sorry."

 

Next day she's dating my friend.

 

I keep on living life, and pretty much stop talking to her. Our exchanges become less frequent. This does not go over well with her. Now she pursues me. Now it's like she has two boyfriends. Sweet for her, right? Not so much.

 

He cheats on her, she's devastated. I wait a short while and ask her to date once again, seeing as she told me she wished she had chosen me over him. Once again she cites "I'm happy being single right now. Don't want anything. Why do we need to label what we're doing?"

 

I say okay once again and just walk away. That same week she starts banging her manager. This also ends poorly as he has an off and on again relationship with someone else. He ends up choosing the other girl and both things fall apart. This was unknown to me until a little while ago. She was using me for dates however and would allude to it being more than it she was actually investing. Kept it hidden very well. However during their time together she told him that when she is ready to do something serious for real, she's going to go to me. What a carrot on a stick that is. He's the one that came clean saying he had to tell someone, and that someone he said had to be me. He felt as if he had deeply wronged me.

 

I decided it was time to focus on me again and cut her off after being once again rebuked. She ends up stealing her best friends love interest whom is a total piece of work. This has now at this moment resulted in the dissolving of their friendship. Not a nice thing to see. This was also hidden for a long time as no one in her life approves of him at all. I am told straight to my face she isn't dating him and we end up spending a lot of time together. We become very close emotionally and physically.

 

Then suddenly she comes out as dating him. We barely see each other once again.

 

Once again it has shifted. We spend a lot of time together and she barely sees him. I've been used for trips, dates, gifts, my time, effort in pursuing, and my emotions. I've lost dignity in this. :sick:

 

You know what the whole moral of this story so far is? My biggest heartbreak is that I cannot currently love myself enough to stay away from this person. I cannot let myself be happy.

 

The happiness you're looking for is the same as mine. The happiness that comes from knowing when you decide to do something it is for you and you like that. I used to possess this.

 

Where you are right now is a terrible pit of darkness. It will get easier. Time eases the pain. The pain of our brains losing an addiction and breaking of habits that used to comfort us.

 

Count yourself lucky that you get to try again. That this person isn't there to halt your personal advancement.

 

Best of luck.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Thanks everyone. I'm not sure why I put so much focus on all this. I haven't had an actual boyfriend in over a year, I've just had little flings since then..like the one you're hearing about now.

 

I guess it comes from wanting to know that I'll be good enough for someone someday. Everything always ends for me. I've ended relationships before, but lately everyone has been ending it with me and I have no idea why. I'm not an angel, but I always try and do my best to treat the guy with all the respect in the world. To listen, to be there emotionally, to be chill and fun. I've always been that way and I would think most guys would like a girl like this.

When you give your best and it's not enough, it makes me feel like I'll never be enough. And I've given my best so much that it's left me to wonder why things aren't working out for me.

I enjoyed this guy. He made me laugh, he treated me with respect, he was so kind and talkative with my parents (he met them on our first date). We had the same interests.

If you saw us on the street you would have thought we were picture perfect. Even on our first date, everyone that we came into contact with (the cashier, the waiter) told us we were a handsome couple. We just flowed together. I just can't believe someone would want to end something like that.

Then again, I know people have it a lot worse than me. And I know people are saying it could have been worse, like at least we weren't dating for 10 years and this happened.

But I almost think it's just as bad to wonder what if, what could have happened, and then to know that's your fault.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry you are hurting.

 

My biggest heartbreak was a short dating relationship.

 

It took me a long time to get over it (though, I think I'll never be completely over it). I had a couple long relationships before that, this one though, hurt most.

 

I think it is due in part to the fact that it ends during a time when feelings begin to develop... The infatuation stage is full of promise, hope, etc., when it's cut short it leaves you feeling deflated as opposed to a longer relationship that has run its course (whereas, there tends to be a bit more closure in that aspect).

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
My biggest heartbreak?

 

Well, it's the one in which I'm currently living.

 

I left a relationship of 8 years two years ago. I was devastated. I realize now her and I are simply incompatible as a couple. Then, however, I felt as though the path was clear. It really wasn't I was simply content.

 

After the breakup with her taking everything and leaving me destitute I scraped by finding two jobs and a place to stay other than my car. During this time, at my now second job, I meet a girl through a mutual acquaintance whom seems so unassuming. She's small, petite, dorky in all the good ways and somehow opened up to me.

 

I was simply amazed she wanted to talk to me. I was in the mode after the breakup where I was pushing myself to change for the better. Perhaps it was working? I didn't know.

 

Every message, every sweet dreams good night would add this little pebble in this bucket in my head. One day I got home and after talking for hours with her, I put my phone down and looked up at the ceiling and said aloud to my cat "Holy ****. I love this girl."

 

I pursue her. However...things start to get more weird. All of the former signals start to get mixed. I would try to make a move and get rebuffed, only to have a coy remark about how nice it was later.

 

Things go on, eventually I ask her out, she says no. Citing the classic "Not looking for anything. Sorry."

 

Next day she's dating my friend.

 

I keep on living life, and pretty much stop talking to her. Our exchanges become less frequent. This does not go over well with her. Now she pursues me. Now it's like she has two boyfriends. Sweet for her, right? Not so much.

 

He cheats on her, she's devastated. I wait a short while and ask her to date once again, seeing as she told me she wished she had chosen me over him. Once again she cites "I'm happy being single right now. Don't want anything. Why do we need to label what we're doing?"

 

I say okay once again and just walk away. That same week she starts banging her manager. This also ends poorly as he has an off and on again relationship with someone else. He ends up choosing the other girl and both things fall apart. This was unknown to me until a little while ago. She was using me for dates however and would allude to it being more than it she was actually investing. Kept it hidden very well. However during their time together she told him that when she is ready to do something serious for real, she's going to go to me. What a carrot on a stick that is. He's the one that came clean saying he had to tell someone, and that someone he said had to be me. He felt as if he had deeply wronged me.

 

I decided it was time to focus on me again and cut her off after being once again rebuked. She ends up stealing her best friends love interest whom is a total piece of work. This has now at this moment resulted in the dissolving of their friendship. Not a nice thing to see. This was also hidden for a long time as no one in her life approves of him at all. I am told straight to my face she isn't dating him and we end up spending a lot of time together. We become very close emotionally and physically.

 

Then suddenly she comes out as dating him. We barely see each other once again.

 

Once again it has shifted. We spend a lot of time together and she barely sees him. I've been used for trips, dates, gifts, my time, effort in pursuing, and my emotions. I've lost dignity in this. :sick:

 

You know what the whole moral of this story so far is? My biggest heartbreak is that I cannot currently love myself enough to stay away from this person. I cannot let myself be happy.

 

The happiness you're looking for is the same as mine. The happiness that comes from knowing when you decide to do something it is for you and you like that. I used to possess this.

 

Where you are right now is a terrible pit of darkness. It will get easier. Time eases the pain. The pain of our brains losing an addiction and breaking of habits that used to comfort us.

 

Count yourself lucky that you get to try again. That this person isn't there to halt your personal advancement.

 

Best of luck.

 

I'm so sorry this happened to you. You need to respect yourself enough to let her go and realize you are worth more than what she is putting you through. Find someone who appreciates you and treats you as a first option.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Sorry you are hurting.

 

My biggest heartbreak was a short dating relationship.

 

It took me a long time to get over it (though, I think I'll never be completely over it). I had a couple long relationships before that, this one though, hurt most.

 

I think it is due in part to the fact that it ends during a time when feelings begin to develop... The infatuation stage is full of promise, hope, etc., when it's cut short it leaves you feeling deflated as opposed to a longer relationship that has run its course (whereas, there tends to be a bit more closure in that aspect).

 

That's absolutely right. It's really hard to let go of the hope you have with someone, to know there's nothing wrong and then to have it all taken away from you.

Link to post
Share on other sites
That's absolutely right. It's really hard to let go of the hope you have with someone, to know there's nothing wrong and then to have it all taken away from you.

 

Yes. And as others have noted (which, I agree with) time does help.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

I guess I just had a lot of hope that this would work out for me.

 

After all my devastating and miserable luck with love, I figured I would be spared some pain this last time.

 

My biggest feeling with all this is sickness over not knowing whether we would have made it in the long run, if things were different. Knowing it's my fault puts this burden on me that maybe I've lost the person I'm supposed to be with forever.

I know if he would just give it a chance, we would have made a great team. It's still hard to understand why he would give up so easily.

And it's even harder to think what if.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
I guess I just had a lot of hope that this would work out for me.

 

After all my devastating and miserable luck with love, I figured I would be spared some pain this last time.

 

My biggest feeling with all this is sickness over not knowing whether we would have made it in the long run, if things were different. Knowing it's my fault puts this burden on me that maybe I've lost the person I'm supposed to be with forever.

I know if he would just give it a chance, we would have made a great team. It's still hard to understand why he would give up so easily.

And it's even harder to think what if.

 

Well of course you did.

 

He probably gave up because he didn't know you that well, he was leaving, etc. (though I can only speculate what his reasons are/were).

 

As hard as it may be, sometimes you have to forgive yourself for not being perfect. We're only human, we all make mistakes.:bunny:

Link to post
Share on other sites
I'm so sorry this happened to you. You need to respect yourself enough to let her go and realize you are worth more than what she is putting you through. Find someone who appreciates you and treats you as a first option.

 

I know, which is why my current heartbreak is myself.

 

I'm working on this. I've been building up to it for awhile. It's funny how it feels like she's dating both of us but isn't really. Probably just in denial at myself. It is similar to working up to a breakup because when I do cut her off, a very big change will happen. I'm trying to put myself in the best position before doing this, so what happens will be a simple clean break with a simple goodbye.

 

It's not as if I haven't tried to date someone else either, when she announced her non single status. However, she finds out whom I'm interested in and ends up facebook stalking them. Pestering my friends until they reveal someone I may have spoken of in passing. Then bringing that person up in passing during conversation to gauge my interest level in them whence she decides to push my buttons.

 

It's taken me awhile but the repeated slights of disrespect have piled up too far.

 

Thank you for your words.

 

When you start to feel like you haven't made progress realize that well yeah you have a long ways to go, but you're not where you started. You're making efforts and trying. Many people would rather just give up, but you're not. It feels hopeless because you haven't reached your goal yet and that's fine. You didn't have your goal the last time you felt happy either, just that the end seemed to be closer than it really was. You will feel better, it just has to hurt for a bit here and there before its through.

Link to post
Share on other sites
It's just upsetting because I am a very hard person to understand so when I find someone that actually gets me, I want to hold onto them and never let go. This guy got me. He knew I liker different things, he appreciated who I was, not how I looked. That just makes it so hard.

He's in the military and told me a while back he wanted to spend as much time with me as he could before he left (he has some training thing he leaves for a few months ) and I know his breaking things off has nothing to do with that because he's had a girlfriend when he's been at war.

I just don't understand why he won't try. If I was as good as he said I was then why would he let me go? Doesn't make any sense and it's something I can't wrap my head around.

Thanks for your stories too :)

 

 

Brooke, I have to ask (and maybe you mentioned this earlier, and if so I apologize for not seeing it)....but did you have sex with him???

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...