xanatos391 Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 Hello, I'm in a relationship at the moment. We have been dating for 2 and a half months. (Talking for 4-5) things have been crazy with work and family health problems. We used to txt 24/7, now maybe 2-4 msgs a day? Maybe a 5 minute phone call? We hung out at my family's house yesterday for a couple hours which was great, but other than that, it's maybe 15-20 minutes for the last few weeks. (Per week) I get that she is super busy, and I accept that for how it is. She wants to move in together in a few months as well. However, what I have issues with is her hanging with her guy friends (I don't care who she's friends with btw) more than me. Or inviting one of them to a family thing, and not inviting me or even telling me. I haven't even met the parents yet. Again, I don't care who she's friends with, but I get jealous that she says she has no time to hang out, but I find out she hung out with them, even if for only a hour or 3 since she barely txts me. Maybe it's me... but I need advice on what to do. I trust her, but it burns me so much knowing that stuff... I'm lost. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 This lady of yours is not ready to be in a serious relationship. I don't know how old you 2 are but she sounds more like a teenage girl than a woman. Maybe you should reassess this relationship and what's it's really worth. Doesn't sound like it's worth much from where I sit. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 Yeah, time for an escape plan. Several red flags here, I wouldn't invest another day in this woman (girl). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author xanatos391 Posted August 3, 2015 Author Share Posted August 3, 2015 We are both 22. Her work does make her work 16-30 hour shifts which is illegal. And her family issues are quite serious. However, I'm torn whether to bring it up to her. I don't want to be a jerk. I debated about waiting a month or two to see how things go. I get they may be FAMILY friends or something like that, but I know they did/do like her more than a friend. I trust her, but it's killing me not to be inquisitive about it. Especially if she didn't tell me he came to her daughters birthday party. She told me about him before, and that he is good with her kid, but she said she would never date him. Not sure what to do tbh. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xanatos391 Posted August 3, 2015 Author Share Posted August 3, 2015 She also said she was friends with these guys for a few years. So I get they are friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 Spending 20 minutes together per week is not a relationship. She is talking about moving in with you but she doesn't make you a priority in her life so how does that work in her book I wonder? Mark my word, in a few months she (and her child) will move in with you and from there all hell will break loose when you get home and she spends her free time with her friends instead of you. This woman is not dating material. And don't get me going about the fact you've dated for only 2 months and already you've been introduced to her child, and probably was introduced to the other gazillion boyfriends she had before. Link to post Share on other sites
dpn4u Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 Stop initiating texts altogether and look for a new relationship. Let her come to you. If she really wants you she'll text you a "I haven't heard from you in a few days, what's going on?" If she doesn't, you have already set the search for a new relationship in motion. If she does text you, respond with "Well you seem so busy all the time, I wanted to give you the space you need to do what you need to do, that's all". If she really likes you that will set off alarm bells and she'll find more time for you. To be honest, this sounds like you aren't her priority. That's ok, find someone that does make you her priority and don't look back. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 When a girl tells you that she has guy friends she doesn't want you to meet, it's because she has something to hide Shady shady shady. She might be sleeping with them. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveRefreshed Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 but you say he just a friend, but you say he just a friend. I would check out biz markie's "just a friend" song. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 Stop initiating texts altogether and look for a new relationship. Let her come to you. If she really wants you she'll text you a "I haven't heard from you in a few days, what's going on?" If she doesn't, you have already set the search for a new relationship in motion. If she does text you, respond with "Well you seem so busy all the time, I wanted to give you the space you need to do what you need to do, that's all". If she really likes you that will set off alarm bells and she'll find more time for you. To be honest, this sounds like you aren't her priority. That's ok, find someone that does make you her priority and don't look back. This is a really good post, and it's the same advice I was going to give. Pull way back and let her do all the initiating. It will be a good way to see where she's at. But I have a feeling that it will only reveal what we all suspect is the case. I mean she is prioritizing spending time w-guy friends over you and doesn't want you to meet some of them. That is very shady behavior. Since it's only been 2 1/2 months, you could break up w-her w/o much fall out and actually find a girl who wants to focus on you. But the only thing I will say is that you should be happy when a girl prefers short phone calls and minimal texting. It's way better to focus on time spent in person over being a phone buddy. Link to post Share on other sites
Chief Wiggum Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 My man, trust me when I say this: she does not want to move in with you. That, I'm a 100% sure of. How so, you ask? Well, she gives you less time than she does her male 'friends' when it comes to just talking (never mind hanging out). And by 'less time', we're actually talking depleted levels. 15-20 minutes per week, you say? That's no more than 3 minutes per day. My goodness, that is pitiful. Sorry to say, she's just not into you. You probably had it at the beginning; hence the 24-7 texting. But somewhere along the line you lost her interest. And to prove it, try not messaging/contacting her over the next 3 or 4 days. If you hear nothing from her, then whatever you think you had with her is dead. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 Go ahead and call her out on it...why not? If you feel you are not a priority, tell her. Why should you sit there and take it? If she takes offense then that is your answer...this isn't going to work out. Link to post Share on other sites
VengeanceGuidesMe Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 Just disappear man. Ghost her. You deserve better than being cheated on. And that she is. She was probably fwb with another guy or two before she met you. Now she's finding she is unable to call it off with her fwb, probably found out she has feelings for him and is leading you on because it's going no where with him. Seen it all man, just leave her. Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 This calls for a text message break up. "You're a really lousy girlfriend. I'm going to find someone better." Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 That's not a relationship......she should want to see you more and her friends less than she is doing. How old are you two, maybe she's immature? I wonder if she has an agenda...... does she want a baby? Golddigger? Link to post Share on other sites
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