Hard to see a future with someone who works so much

[mbscaredtodeath]

Hi there,

 

So a quick summary- I am so deeply in love with my boyfriend. I honestly throw my head back metaphorically every day and thank whatever god it was that brought him to me because he is perfect for me. I'm so incredibly picky when it comes to men and i've found one who makes me happy in every way possible.

 

We've been together for a year and a half, sort of doing long distance. We were about a 2 hour ferry ride away from eachother but have seen eachother for every weekend since I can remember He's also come back for several weeks at a time when he gets work off and recently over a month he was back with me.

 

The thing is, he works these crazy hours Like i'm talking 12 to 15 hour shifts, monday to friday. These hours leave him tired and irratble on the weekends. The other thing is they will frequenlty change the hours, like recently the switched a saturday ( a day he was meant to have off) to a monday just because without any warning.

 

He is alwyas telling me that he doesnt want to do this forever and its only temporary while hes young he can do this work. I feel like hes going to want to move up and with this work, the higher you are up... the more brutal the hours get.

 

I'm just in a hard place because I don't know if I'm being really selfish by resenting his work schedule when he works so hard. I'm also thinking about the future and how it could possibly work out like this.

 

Has anyone had a similar experience like this? In some ways a hard working boyfriend is better than a lazy one. HELP

[beach]

How old is he and your age too?

 

He may be at an age where he is trying to establish himself and his future/security.

 

Successful men usually work a lot. If you need more time and attention than he can give - then this isn't going to work.

 

What do you do for work? How many days/ hours do you spend at work?

[Popsicle]

It's only worth it to be with someone who is busy and has so little time for you if they are REALLY into you when they do have time. If they're just like, meh, or irritable, then forget it. There's nothing to look forward to.

[Gloria25]

I'm kinda like your boyfriend right now. I work around 70 hours a week. I don't know about your boyfriend, but this is definitely temporary for me. I am only doing this to save money to buy a new house this year. After that, I plan on moving into another job with a more relaxed work schedule. Since I post on LS from work, I know everyone will miss me when my hours are cut back!

 

Exactly ^^

 

Does your bf have to work these crazy hours because this is the only way he can make ends meet or does he have a goal/goals like enigma32?

 

If he does this cuz this is the only way he can make ends meet and has no long term goals (i.e. do this until I finish school) then I say move on. Relationships can't be built with some guy who doesn't have his stuff together and/or has no intention/plan to get it together...and/or is too tired/busy to spend time with his woman.

 

If he has a goal/goals in place, then I say you need to ask yourself if you're willing to take a backseat to him concentrating on his work to meet his goals...cuz, like I recently posted in another thread - now a days women, especially cuz they earn their own money - will not allow "boys" to become "men" and want to jump in and have relationships, marriage and/or babies when the guy is still trying to become a man. So, the woman gets hitched and/or has kids with him and she has to work to supplement the income and the kids, cooking, cleaning get outsourced and/or the "family" is struggling to make ends meet.