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im serious but how do you get funny and playful with girls?


pjm123

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I got the idea but my social skills and pretty limited and I am struggling with keeping a comedic act with women while trying to rapport with them how do you FULLY develop this mind?

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I'm not sure that wit is a skill that can be taught. I'm trying to think of how to teach it to some one and I can't really see a way. Are you a naturally funny person? If you are not organically funny in your day to day life, you probably won't be at the flip of a switch.

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I'd let it come naturally, if I were you. Try hards make things awkward. It's not something you can plan. If there's good connections things will flow.

 

I know its cliché, but be yourself. if not it will make for an awkward date. I'd spot that a mile off.

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If you're not naturally playful then faking it would come across as forced, just be yourself and sell your own strongest qualities.

 

For example, I think of myself as a funny, playful person. If I meet someone like myself, then we joke and kid and tease ALL the time, and it can even be tricky to talk about deep, serious matters. Talking about feelings and being a good listener and such, that's also important. But yeah, playful equals chemistry in my mind.

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But I think even comedians have to practice right?

 

Isn't the key to have a stock of jokes that you can draw on at the relevant moment so that it appears spontaneous? And isn't it true that even comedians just have to APPEAR spontaneous even if they spend time thinking of jokes, collecting "material", and so on?

 

I'm not funny myself though once in a while I pull off some good ones spontaneously, but only when I'm not nervous. I tend to be funnier when not in the company of a date, which is when I need to use it!

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I got the idea but my social skills and pretty limited and I am struggling with keeping a comedic act with women while trying to rapport with them how do you FULLY develop this mind?

 

While being too serious is a bad thing, I don't think you need to be a comedian necessarily. If you put all your effort into trying to make someone laugh, you could come across as someone without depth. It's more important to master the art of conversation. You need to come across as casual, generally positive, and genuinely interested in what the girl has to say.

Edited by oberkeat
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Hmm I've never experienced playful interaction as a series of anecdotes or like a stand-up routine.. it's just playing off each other, gentle teasing, etc. I think you just need to relax and not overthink it.

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I got the idea but my social skills and pretty limited and I am struggling with keeping a comedic act with women while trying to rapport with them how do you FULLY develop this mind?

 

 

Who said you had to put on a comedic act? Be yourself. You make the date FUN. You're not expected to tell jokes. You're not expected to be witty all the time. If you're naturally witty that's a bonus. But if you're trying to be someone you're not then women will see that and it will turn them off.

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Women are people, you need experience with people in general. Get a part time sales job where you are forced to talk to people.

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HereNorThere

You do it by treating them like you would your male friends. Even go as far as calling them "dude" and things like that. The second you accidentally display some sort of interest or attraction before they have, it's game over. Just start with a funny story, one that you've told before, but real, genuine.

 

Just don't display interest until someone has earned it. People want to win you over if you're genuinely interesting and funny. The second they sense ulterior motives... Next, game over

 

And don't neg unless it's playful and she's SUPER hot. Most girls ego just can't handle something like, especially that soon. A playful tease can sometimes help, but most dudes are really messing up this concept.

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HereNorThere
I need some serious help where can i find a tutor or mentor

 

 

Just stay well read on psychology and make a really killer online dating profile. There's a wealth of information out there, but the most important part isn't mimicking those people, it's picking up on the underlying concepts of why what they do works. You'll get better with practice, but right now you're over thinking it and I have a feeling that you're coming off needy.

 

Never ask a girl for help, ask a guy who is good with girls. A fish isn't going to teach you to fish, lol. Also, there's a lot of misogynistic stuff out there that objectives women that you have to filter through. That stuff may work on damaged women, but a healthy one will see right through it. Basically, you're just trying to not give too much away too early so that you can generate attraction by being your true self for the most part. There's just some little social faux pas type things that you have to avoid at first, but they're easy to learn and avoid.

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