hunk Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 After months of uncertainty and extreme anxiety i've been given the expected diagnosis of testicular cancer. Basically I have it in both testicles. I still am struggling to come to terms with this diagnosis even though I ultimately knew for a while I had it. 1% of men get TC and 1% of that 1% have it in both testicles. My luck is almost laughable. My overall prognosis is good however, testicular cancer has very high survival rate even in later stages, so i should be fine. Psychologically and emotionally i'm crushed/exhausted. I won't ever be able to have kids, obviously. I'm 24, in the prime of my life physically and sexually so this has just destroyed me. I am a completely normal confident, outgoing and happy young guy and this just doesn't seem right, it's like some sort of sick joke and has really, really messed me up. My question is for the women of this site - how important are testicles to you? Do you care? Would you care if the guy you were dating had no balls? Would you see him as less of a man? Obviously for me it's a psychological thing - i'm going to be on testosterone replacement for the rest of my life (fortnightly shots, still struggling to conceive this) and will never be able to have my own kids. Although test replacement will replace my natural testosterone and keep me a normal biological "man", I am terrified of now not being able to find someone who's accepting of my condition and have to face the realization that 99% of women are not going to want to be with a man who can't give her children, no matter how much they love him. I'm still mainly in shock and overwhelmingly upset and angry. I can't believe i'm even typing this. I feel like my purpose as a man is over and i'm just some pointless freak. Even looking at my screen name now makes me cringe and feel sick and embarrassed. Thanks for any input/opinions, this was very hard to type Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 (edited) Sorry if this seems small-minded but they'll give you implants/replacements, won't they? Make you seem intact to the touch? Edited July 28, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyBug Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 (edited) Gosh, I am so sorry. I can't even imagine what you are going through. I'm glad the prognosis is good, but no doubt something like that messes with your head as a man, as a mastectomy would a woman. I've never wanted kids so a man that couldn't have any would be a huge bonus. Other than that, sure, I would date/have a relationship with/marry a guy who no longer had his testicles. In fact, that's a quick yes, not a "let me think about it" yes. I'd just be thrilled to find me a wonderful guy, period. Edited July 28, 2015 by DaisyBug 6 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 I think the battle you're about to endure makes you have more balls than most men out there. I hope you'll believe that about yourself someday. xo 15 Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 Sorry if this seems small-minded but they'll give you implants/replacements, won't they? Make you seem intact to the touch? Yes, this is what they do. I'd have no problem with it. Link to post Share on other sites
thespacey1 Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 I too would date a guy with no testicles. All women don't require children... Plus, there's always adoption. Additionally, this is an awesome way to test the authenticity and character of women who come into your life. I do suggest that you continue to(assuming you don't deal w/female @ss holes) deal with women of substance who you can be open about this with. You'll be fine! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 This would be a think about it yes for me. Sorry for being a jerk but I want children. There are other options but there are disaventages and possible problem associated with those. Not an automatic no but not a 'oh ya! For sure!' either. Link to post Share on other sites
nadine5 Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 After months of uncertainty and extreme anxiety i've been given the expected diagnosis of testicular cancer. Basically I have it in both testicles. I still am struggling to come to terms with this diagnosis even though I ultimately knew for a while I had it. 1% of men get TC and 1% of that 1% have it in both testicles. My luck is almost laughable. My overall prognosis is good however, testicular cancer has very high survival rate even in later stages, so i should be fine. Psychologically and emotionally i'm crushed/exhausted. I won't ever be able to have kids, obviously. I'm 24, in the prime of my life physically and sexually so this has just destroyed me. I am a completely normal confident, outgoing and happy young guy and this just doesn't seem right, it's like some sort of sick joke and has really, really messed me up. My question is for the women of this site - how important are testicles to you? Do you care? Would you care if the guy you were dating had no balls? Would you see him as less of a man? Obviously for me it's a psychological thing - i'm going to be on testosterone replacement for the rest of my life (fortnightly shots, still struggling to conceive this) and will never be able to have my own kids. Although test replacement will replace my natural testosterone and keep me a normal biological "man", I am terrified of now not being able to find someone who's accepting of my condition and have to face the realization that 99% of women are not going to want to be with a man who can't give her children, no matter how much they love him. I'm still mainly in shock and overwhelmingly upset and angry. I can't believe i'm even typing this. I feel like my purpose as a man is over and i'm just some pointless freak. Even looking at my screen name now makes me cringe and feel sick and embarrassed. Thanks for any input/opinions, this was very hard to type I would not care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 I too would date a guy with no testicles. All women don't require children... Plus, there's always adoption. Additionally, this is an awesome way to test the authenticity and character of women who come into your life. I do suggest that you continue to(assuming you don't deal w/female @ss holes) deal with women of substance who you can be open about this with. You'll be fine! This is a pretty strong assumption. You are basically saying that a woman would have to give up the hope of getting pregnant from the man she is with (which is important for some people) are @ssholes? It's pretty far fetched if you ask me....Especially since this information would technically be disclosed early in the 'dating' relashionship. It's basic risk VS benefits... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppyolive Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 Sorry you're going through tough times. Life certainly throws us some crazy shjit. I'm glad the prognosis is good. Cancer sucks. I have a lot of friends (all around 30) not wanting kids. They're happy in their child free relationships. I, however, work with kids and babies. So I would love my own. So, I wouldn't worry. Lots of online dating sites have the question "do you want children" many mrn have said no. I've had a few guys message me saying they can't have kids, if I was OK with that would I be interested in getting to know them. So, its more common than you think. Personally for me, not having any testicles wouldn't be a problem. Those yokes are ugly anyways ;-) Best wishes & strength 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Photofinish Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 I wouldnt mind. I'm not planning to have kids ever , dont lose faith. Kids are overrated anyways ,most people dont know why they want them they just do . There is always adoption as well =) Consider yourself lucky that you are able to live your life after this. Many people with cancer sadly dont make it . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 Wow, that sucks man. If you haven't started an treatment like chemo or radiation, see if you can bank some sperm. They freeze them. It not that expensive to do. They make fake testicles. With TRT, nobody but you would know about what happened. Stay positive & strong man. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 This is a pretty strong assumption. You are basically saying that a woman would have to give up the hope of getting pregnant from the man she is with (which is important for some people) are @ssholes? It's pretty far fetched if you ask me....Especially since this information would technically be disclosed early in the 'dating' relashionship. It's basic risk VS benefits... Neither person in a relationship usually knows about their fertility before actually trying, after marriage. We all take that risk, and I don't know of a single "he couldn't get me pregnant so I divorced him for someone who could" split. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 Omg im sorry to hear that! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SandraTempleton Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 I would certainly date a guy that had lost his testicles especially once I learned it was due to medical necessity. I believe that you are making a mistake of associating testicles and testosterone with being the defining qualities of being a man. I don't believe this to be the case. My other recommendation to you is to research freezing your sperm. I believe this would be helpful if you decide that you want biological children later in your life. Best wishes to you! And **** Cancer 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 Hunk, this is a tough one for you, but you'll do fine. It's good that it's been diagnosed early and dealt with. I never wanted children, so a man who was infertile would have been a real bonus - no more messing about with pills, IUD etc. They can give you implants that create a normal look, so I wouldn't worry about it aesthetically. Also, it will be one sure-fire way to weed out all the women in you life who aren't genuine. Good luck and stay positive. x 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 It's possible I wouldn't even notice they were missing for awhile, depending on what was happening sexually. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 Also, I'm not hung up on kids. I'd be open to adoption. There are bennies to being child free tbh. Once again, I'm very sorry this is happening to you. I hope you find some kind of peace. i can't imagine how you must feel. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 I'm so sorry you are going through all this but nope, for me, it wouldn't matter in the slightest. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 That really sux, sorry to hear that. To answer your question i would. I was faced with this question in my previous relationship (do I want kids or not) and had to think it over but came to the conclusion that i dont care about kids as long as i find the right man to spend my life with. A lot of my female friends are not interested in having kids either, it seems to be becoming more common so I'm sure you will find women who dont want kids. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fireflywy Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 Sorry to hear this but it doesn't mean you'll be childless. You can have sperm frozen. Your dating prospects will be okay. You just focus on getting better man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 Hunk. I have dated a man with false testicles (he had his removed due to testicular cancer at a very young age). I only found out because the false ones felt a bit different and I asked about it. Other than that you could not tell. Everything functioned as normal (in his case better than normal). He is the only man I have ever dated twice so to speak. One of those where we were just supposed to be friends which is a shame... Great guy. Still great friends and he has never had any problems with the ladies or in that department since. As for reproducing, I have problems myself that have caused me to be infertile. Don't worry. There are plenty of options out there when the time comes. Chin up chook - its not the end of the world. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SteveRR Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 (edited) After months of uncertainty and extreme anxiety i've been given the expected diagnosis of testicular cancer. Basically I have it in both testicles. I still am struggling to come to terms with this diagnosis even though I ultimately knew for a while I had it. 1% of men get TC and 1% of that 1% have it in both testicles. My luck is almost laughable. My overall prognosis is good however, testicular cancer has very high survival rate even in later stages, so i should be fine. Psychologically and emotionally i'm crushed/exhausted. I won't ever be able to have kids, obviously. I'm 24, in the prime of my life physically and sexually so this has just destroyed me. I am a completely normal confident, outgoing and happy young guy and this just doesn't seem right, it's like some sort of sick joke and has really, really messed me up. My question is for the women of this site - how important are testicles to you? Do you care? Would you care if the guy you were dating had no balls? Would you see him as less of a man? Obviously for me it's a psychological thing - i'm going to be on testosterone replacement for the rest of my life (fortnightly shots, still struggling to conceive this) and will never be able to have my own kids. Although test replacement will replace my natural testosterone and keep me a normal biological "man", I am terrified of now not being able to find someone who's accepting of my condition and have to face the realization that 99% of women are not going to want to be with a man who can't give her children, no matter how much they love him. I'm still mainly in shock and overwhelmingly upset and angry. I can't believe i'm even typing this. I feel like my purpose as a man is over and i'm just some pointless freak. Even looking at my screen name now makes me cringe and feel sick and embarrassed. Thanks for any input/opinions, this was very hard to type but why wouldn't you I would date a woman that had no breast what is the real issue here no emotional attachments when I am in love with a woman do I care if she has some missing parts HELL NO I love the woman for whom she is inside her heart how many time does she use a dildo...It doesn't have testicles ... now does it. yet she can still get aroused .It is like a woman with no breast she can still arouse me without the slightest problem Edited July 28, 2015 by SteveRR just adding more input 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 After months of uncertainty and extreme anxiety i've been given the expected diagnosis of testicular cancer. Basically I have it in both testicles. I still am struggling to come to terms with this diagnosis even though I ultimately knew for a while I had it. 1% of men get TC and 1% of that 1% have it in both testicles. My luck is almost laughable. My overall prognosis is good however, testicular cancer has very high survival rate even in later stages, so i should be fine. Psychologically and emotionally i'm crushed/exhausted. I won't ever be able to have kids, obviously. I'm 24, in the prime of my life physically and sexually so this has just destroyed me. I am a completely normal confident, outgoing and happy young guy and this just doesn't seem right, it's like some sort of sick joke and has really, really messed me up. My question is for the women of this site - how important are testicles to you? Do you care? Would you care if the guy you were dating had no balls? Would you see him as less of a man? Obviously for me it's a psychological thing - i'm going to be on testosterone replacement for the rest of my life (fortnightly shots, still struggling to conceive this) and will never be able to have my own kids. Although test replacement will replace my natural testosterone and keep me a normal biological "man", I am terrified of now not being able to find someone who's accepting of my condition and have to face the realization that 99% of women are not going to want to be with a man who can't give her children, no matter how much they love him. I'm still mainly in shock and overwhelmingly upset and angry. I can't believe i'm even typing this. I feel like my purpose as a man is over and i'm just some pointless freak. Even looking at my screen name now makes me cringe and feel sick and embarrassed. Thanks for any input/opinions, this was very hard to type I am so sorry that you have to deal with something like this at such a young age. However, you are young and this is something that can be dealt with. I personally wouldn't be put off by this. I am, of course, not interested in having children, but adoption is always an option for you and whomever you decide to marry or be with. You have a bright future ahead of you. Focus on that. And, I don't mean to make light of your situation, but when you've come through all this and find out just how strong you are, you will realize that you have more "balls" than most men could ever dream of having . . . Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 Sex and fertility after treatment for testicular cancer - Cancer Information - Macmillan Cancer Support Link to post Share on other sites
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