Mjm1014 Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 So I've been dating my girl for about 4 months now (she's 24, I'm 27), and I keep finding myself frustrated at the fact that my girlfriend doesn't take much interest in me. I'm not sure if it's because she's self centered or if she is plain uninterested (she tells me she loves me though, and we always have fun hanging out)...she never asks about my day, or tries getting to know me more, when we hang out its always what she wants to do and when she wants to do something, and she never buys or pays for anything. She offers at times but doesn't follow through. Again, we talk everyday, and she is alwasys asking me to hang out, and I seem like I'm the only friend she has, she tells me she loves me and wants a future with me, but it worries me that she doesn't show much interest abou me or my day ever. If I start talking about my day ever, she changes the subject and talks about herself and her day...its kind of been like this since day one. It's seriously been months since she's asked me anything to get to know me more. I care about her a lot, and am not saying she's a bad person but it makes me question if I'm valuable to her or if it's just her personality possibly. I know it's impossible to tell from a post about her, but I don't know how to approach this with her. Should I bring it up with her or am I wasting my breath? I don't want to come off like a jerk or act like a needy *****!! I'm not the self centered type that likes to talk about myself a lot but it raises questions and quite frankly this is getting boring that it's so one sided.... Options please. Copy link to your questions and I'll respond if I have some good answers! Thanks! L Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 I can relate to her, because sometimes I just forget. It's not that I don't care, but I just get into the moment and who I'm with right then and there... so I don't ask about their day, their past, stuff like that. Even with a barista who asks, "How are you, today?" I say, "Great, thanks" and don't ask how they are, back. To encourage her or train her to demonstrate her interest, ask her about her day, and then playfully say something like, "Aren't you going to ask about my day?" ... that sort of thing. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 (edited) Mixed feelings on this. Some of it is she's 24 and, depending on prior relationship experiences, she may simply be lacking the skillset to intuitively interact at the level you're desiring. If she didn't learn empathy and expressing interest in others at a young age, it can take awhile as an adult because it's not part of her core personality. Scary version, she's thinking the relationship, where 'love' and 'care' are cognitive decisions rather than emotional states. I see signs of this where she tells you she loves you but shows no interest and appears totally focused on herself. You keep showing up so those inputs get processed and behaviors flow to work the decision-making process. Presuming this is also a sexual relationship, how does this dichotomy carry over into the bedroom? Oh, also, if you or she has any animals, how does she treat them? If not, does she like animals? Edited July 24, 2015 by carhill 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 It sounds like you found a high maintenance woman. If you want a good relationship, find a low maintenance woman. Love is not enough. Link to post Share on other sites
yxalitis Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 It sounds like you found a high maintenance woman. If you want a good relationship, find a low maintenance woman. Love is not enough. Can you direct me to the place where "low maintenance" woman live, cos I don't know anywhere on Earth to find them... Link to post Share on other sites
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