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Can someone tell me what this means :/


Loveless86

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Okay i,ll try to keep this short.

 

I met a girl at a bar about a week ago we got on well and she ended up giving me her number, before moving on with her friend.

 

I text her the next day asking if she had a good night etc, she quickly text back and we were messaging back and forth ( she always responds super fast ).

 

I eventually asked her out for a drink one night she said it sounded good and would let me know if she was free that night, well that night came and went and i heard nothing :/.

 

A day or so later i messaged her, i never mentioned our proposed date, i didnt want to seem bothered, we were texting back and forth, we ended up on the topic of films, she said she hadent seen this certain film we were talking about, and really wanted to see it, i didnt propose a movie night after the last rejection i simply said i could lend her the film if she wanted.

 

Awesome! she said, i said i could drop it off tomorrow after work.

 

Then she proposed we watch it together and make a night of it, she said she'd let me know when she was home, i said cool look forward to it.

 

Ive heard nothing since, the movie night never happened just like the drink never happened.

 

Im guessing shes just busy or maybe ive done something wrong :/

 

If she wasnt interested why would she invite me round to watch a movie?

 

I dont get it HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Instead of texting, CALL and invite her on a proper date: Dinner - at a specific night, at a specific time, at a specific restaurant.

 

Not drinks. Not a movie (where you can't really get to know anyone any way).

 

Communicate with your voice so that you can hear and learn about her intentions with voice inflections and potential interest.

 

If she declines, then move on.

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Instead of texting, CALL and invite her on a proper date: Dinner - at a specific night, at a specific time, at a specific restaurant.

 

Not drinks. Not a movie (where you can't really get to know anyone any way).

 

Communicate with your voice so that you can hear and learn about her intentions with voice inflections and potential interest.

 

If she declines, then move on.

 

Irrelevant carrie. Shes not interested. If you were the girl carrie you it wouldnt make a difference and you know it!

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Irrelevant carrie. Shes not interested. If you were the girl carrie you it wouldnt make a difference and you know it!

 

No, I don't know it. A girl responds well to positive, personal attention. Texting is impersonal and anonymous.

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She's definitely not that interested (at least right now - not that she couldn't be interested down the road). Texting is tricky and you never really set up anything definitive, so it's pretty easy to let the day slide by.

 

I'd say you could have made more definitive plans, calling would likely help a bit, but also, she's really not that interested right now - you need to be more assertive if you want to see her...it's way to easy to casually ignore people that you really don't know...you need to elevate it past a casual, short contact at a bar. If you spoke with some one at a bar for a few minutes, honestly, how interested could you really be (hint: not that interested)...

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Instead of texting, CALL and invite her on a proper date: Dinner - at a specific night, at a specific time, at a specific restaurant.

 

Not drinks. Not a movie (where you can't really get to know anyone any way).

 

Communicate with your voice so that you can hear and learn about her intentions with voice inflections and potential interest.

 

If she declines, then move on.

 

I agree! She could very well just be on the fence about whether or not to take you seriously and is waiting for you to make a move. You have nothing to lose, you have received some positive feedback already, it's time to seal the deal - ask her out on a proper date, a time and a place, and see how it goes from there. Of course if she says no, then you have your answer, but it's silly to throw in the towel from this place of ambiguity.

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Give it one last try, except say to her: "I want to take you out Friday night. I'll pick you up/meet you at 7:30pm" Don't ask her--put the ball squarely in her court by telling her what, when, where. If she tells you "I have to check" or whatever, then hang up the phone, block her number and move on. She's just BSing you.

 

And don't go to her house for a first date/first meeting. You don't know if she's got someone there who will hit you over the head and knock you out to steal your stuff. Tell her "on second thought, you can probably find it on Netflix" and leave her to her own devices.

Edited by kendahke
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SycamoreCircle

You didn't do anything wrong. But that you asked that is like doing something wrong.

 

People are telling you to strike more directly, more effectively. I agree. In the future, always be as direct and effective as possible. When you incorporate that comfortably into your approach with women, expect the same. Then, you won't need to come to LS or anyone else asking what's going on here? It won't matter. You'll know that those who are in respond effectively, those who are out don't respond effectively. You'll know that a woman who flakes on you deserves just as much inattention. You'll know that a woman who shows up for a date deserves a great time.

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Definitely flaky. Stop making an effort with her.

 

The next lady you meet, make sure to drop your texting ways and make a bigger effort to call. :)

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Michelle ma Belle

I'm been around a few years so I'm going to side with the camp that CALLING is always the best way to communicate but since you young folks seem to be deathly allergic to speaking on the phone all I have to say is...she's just not into you.

 

That's life. NEXT!

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Instead of texting, CALL and invite her on a proper date: Dinner - at a specific night, at a specific time, at a specific restaurant.

 

Not drinks. Not a movie (where you can't really get to know anyone any way).

 

Communicate with your voice so that you can hear and learn about her intentions with voice inflections and potential interest.

 

If she declines, then move on.

 

Did you not read the part about him asking her for drinks, and later agreeing to a movie?

 

She's not into you, if she was then she'd at least text back about a meetup rather than just letter the days pass by.

 

I'm been around a few years so I'm going to side with the camp that CALLING is always the best way to communicate but since you young folks seem to be deathly allergic to speaking on the phone all I have to say is...she's just not into you.

 

Yeah thats so true. When I call it's like the girl has never picked up a phone call before, actually I've got many friends that are like that too.

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Well thanks for the response folks :)

 

Ive not heard anything from her since i post this question so i think i best let it slide.

 

I'll try to be more direct and clear in future and set definite dates, i wouldnt say im completely useless at picking up hints, but i felt i was getting mixed messages so thought id see if anyone could shed light, like i said thanks for the response.

 

Ill no doubt see her at this bar again because shes a friend of the new barmaid, if so ill keep it light and friendly and see how it goes, otherwise im done with it. :). Next!

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Dude this girl literally gave you an opening to ask her out by suggesting you make it a movie date after you offered to lend her the movie. Anyone who says she's flaky just doesn't understand that most girls just don't feel comfortable asking a guy out on a date or to hang out early on in seeing each other. She said to bring the movie over... You should've texted her "so when's our movie date gonna be?" Then when she replied you tell her you're driving home and if it's ok to call her rather than text and drive. Reasonable and logical request and makes it more personal than texting.

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Dude this girl literally gave you an opening to ask her out by suggesting you make it a movie date after you offered to lend her the movie. Anyone who says she's flaky just doesn't understand that most girls just don't feel comfortable asking a guy out on a date or to hang out early on in seeing each other. She said to bring the movie over... You should've texted her "so when's our movie date gonna be?" Then when she replied you tell her you're driving home and if it's ok to call her rather than text and drive. Reasonable and logical request and makes it more personal than texting.

 

Do you really think if she was interested in him she would not text back and be offended he didnt call? Thats ridiculous. Even the girls on LS know this. Any girl in the world who would be interested wouldnt have been put off by what OP did. FACT!

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Forget about "keeping it light and friendly and see how it goes." How desperate are you? She's a flake and not worth your time. Sure, you may have had better luck calling her, but that would've just prolonged finding out she's a flake.

 

If she texts you now, don't even.

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Personally I think she is on the fence.

 

I would ring her, suggest time and place. If she hums and haws then don't bother.

 

She is clearly sociable but not so great at being direct.

 

Either that or just keep quiet and move on.

 

Depends how much you want to go on a date with her...

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She's not interested. You did the right thing to pass. In the future, call a woman instead of texting if you're asking her out for a date.

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In regard to texting vs. calling...what's the norm these days? I'm in my thirties. What do women in their 20s prefer? I have been told they don't like calling and prefer texting? Any thoughts?

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